Vindicate a Villain – Writing Contest #7

You are a lawyer assigned to defend a villain from the Chronicles of Narnia. How would you present your case? 100 words or less.

Example: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my client, Rabadash, should by no means be held accountable as a criminal.  What he did was done for love of Queen Susan of Narnia (alias “The False Jade”).  Can we truly call it crime which was done of love and the impetuosity of youth?  In any event, I’m afraid my client is unable to appear in court today due to certain unavoidable circumstances which now keep him…er…close to home.  Thank you.

Honorable Mentions

The Case Concerning Jadis by Elentari the Second
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my client, Jadis, has by no means committed as heinous a crime as the prosecution has made out. Used to power in her own land and coming from a long line of rulers, and having come to a wild land ruled by nothing but an animal, she very naturally became Queen of Narnia. Those who opposed her she dealt with as the traitors to her throne that they were, and far from cruelly killing them, death was instant and painless. Can we truly call these crimes?…… I have nothing more to say. Thank you.

Edmund the Just Decides to Become His Own Lawyer by Laurelin
Honerable Judge and Members of the Jury, you can in no right mind convict my client, Edmund, of treason. He was forced into temporary insanity by another party, and cannot be held guilty. That lion aready paid for his wrongdoings anywhay, so why not let bygones be bygones and give my client his throne back? It’s the only one he’s got, seeing that the person who is truely responsible never paid him his just due like they agreed, anyway…. Oops! In the event that you decide diffrent, my client states that his lawyer was incompetent. Heh heh…..

Cold Shoulder by Zel the Great
Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, I come before you, to defend the White Witch. Truly she can not be held acountable for freezing Narnia, for there are no freezers in Narnia, and how was she supposed to keep her looks up with no cold cream, surely you can understand the importance of cold cream, unfortunately she had a rather nasty fall and therefore could not appear in court today. Thank you for your time.

and the winner

Jadis vs. Pevensie by Dusty Rancourt
Mr. Pevensie, am I to understand that you entered into a clear and specific verbal contract with the defendant, and accepted payment in exchange for specific services to be rendered at a later time? And is it true that you defaulted upon this contract, and turned to a third party to assist you with the penalty for default upon the contract? I see. And then, after tendering payment, which was accepted and collected, you and this “Mr. Aslan” decided you didn’t like the outcome, and committed burglary and assault upon the defendant?

I see. No further questions, your honor.

Don’t forget to check out the winners of the last contest, No-name Biographies.