What if a Narnian character could write a letter to their creator? What praise, comments, or complaints might they have?
Example: Dear Mr. Lewis,
I must take extreme offense at the way you have portrayed me in your novel The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe . First, you cut my initial action sequence, when I arrest the traitor Tumnus. Then you give me scarcely more than one line of dialogue in my exchange with the younger Son of Adam. Next thing I know, I am facing off with the older Son of Adam, all while surrounded by Narnian who will probably not look on me very kindly if I should kill him. Finally, you have me, a valiant warrior with many years of experience, killed off by a mere cub of a boy who has apparently never used a sword before (Yes, I suppose it could have been worse. The new movie shows me jumping straight onto his sword.). Not to mention the way that you portray wolves in a negative light throughout the entirety of the novel. Never mind that we are the loyalists supporting the established government. I find myself deeply offended sir.
Sincerely,
Er….
P.S. How am I supposed to sign this, as you gave me two different names depending on whether I was being depicted in the British or American version of your story? What’s with that?
Honorable Mentions
from Aslan to his child by Beth D.
My dear child, you have done well. You have made my name known to your world and for that my thanks id great. You have truthfuly told the tale of Narnia. The bigginging chapter of the greatest story of them all. Be joyful my son and look always ahead to the day when you will be with me past the shadowlands in The really Narnia in my land. Then shall the term be over and the holidays will come. The dream will end and it will be the morning, the morning which lasts for all times.Untill them my child I will always be with you.
With the geatest love, MYSELF
Lasaraleen’s Letter by Aranel
Mr. Lewis, darling! About the way you portrayed me in your book, the Horse and His Boy You made me far too vain! True, I do tend to go on about fashion sometimes, and dresses speaking of which I just bought the loveliest dress yesterday at the afternoon market. Its a gorgeous beige with green trim and ruffles. It comes with the loveliest headpiece as well: pure green gossamer! And the matching shoes absolutely stunning! Anyway, Im planning to wear it to the river party Saturday; I want to make a good impression with the other nobles. I hope I dont get it dirty; that would be simply dreadful! Just the other day, one of the slaves stepped on a draping piece of one of my party dresses. It wasnt torn, but there was a spot of mud. I began to cry, and saw that the slave was punished for his insolence. And then, I went home. Oh, that reminds me my husbands away again. Fancy, he is such a darling man, and rich. I could just die. They say he is climbing the social ladder here in Tashbaan.
What was I talking about? Oh, yes, how you portrayed me in your book. All I did was talk about parties and dresses and the latest gossip! The nerve! I hardly ever talk about such! I admit I do like dresses, though. About my new dress, there is also a matching beige and green parasol&.
My portrayal is most Disturbing… by C.S. Lois
Oh my Creator, and oh the delight of my eyes-
May you live for ever, but I must say that your most venerable self’s life is in danger at the hand of my most lovely and handsome self, unless thy hand moveth speedily upon the paper with a quill in answer to my letter of protest and agressive negotiation. (as the poets have said “As a lower memeber of society bows and respectively answers his authoritative member, so will he be honored and rewarded, but them who does not faces the inescapable problem of punishemnt” Not that I find the poets to my liking, indeed I’ve had verses and maxims thrown at me all day, but I had to illustrate my point!) My single, simplest complaint is that you had my beautiful person inflicted with the horror of becoming a DONKEY!! Why could you simply have had my sent back as something much more decorative or grandiose? That is my one and only point, put simply and most understandibly. My thanks are greatly put forth!
Signed, Rabadash the Peacemaker, son of the Tisroc (may he live forever) and brother of 19 other sons that could have taken my place had I failed my quest. (Which I did but I’m so inexorably proud that I won’t admit it.)
and the winner
Slightest Inkling by cherokee43v6
My Dear Colleague,
Or rather, should I say, Jack.
I must say that your most recent series of stories has been quite entertaining. You have captured the children’s personalities delightfully, (Polly agrees and sends her affection) but I must insist that you get out of that sterile environment you call an office once in a while. I am not nearly so stodgy as the impression you leave.
Of course some of our after-workshop exploits are probably better left unwritten. Like the time the two of us convinced that waitress that J.R.R… (And after I said such things should be best left unwritten!) While I am on the subject, do tell that linguist it is time to move past his issues with the mixing of mythologies. I find it to be quite acceptable and even natural for Narnia. I’d do so myself, but I fear that his health has become a bit too fragile to tolerate such a contact.
I’ve had a long chat with Peter about the Medieval Literatures class he took under you, and I am impressed with his breadth and depth of knowledge on the subject. Of course he does tend to show a preference for the sword and chivalry aspects, but knowing his background, why shouldn’t he?
On the other hand, his opinions! What are you teaching these kids nowadays?
He shared his journal with me the other day. Dreadful, simply dreadful. What ever became of penmanship? When we were students back at that wretched school in Ireland, (Eustace & Jill’s Experiment House can not begin to compare with that horrible place.) at the very least, they made sure we could write legibly.
Now, on to important matters. We all understand that Susan will be most distressed by recent occurrences. Eventually, she is going to turn to you for some measure of understanding. Do take pains to be less gruff than usual, for she will need your support and guidance. To that end, I am enclosing my account of events from the twentieth of last month onward.
Lucy and the Faun have invited us over for tea. I hate to rush the ending of this, but I must post it on the way over. Aslan assures me you will receive it at the proper time.
Sincerely,
Prof. D. Kirke (Ret.)
encl: 1
[writing_contest_footer]
