DATE: 2007-04-24 00:00:00.0
SUBJECT: Give Up!
Susan, Queen of Narnia,
Really, darling, do you think you have really gotten the better of me? I mean, honestly, did you actually think I wouldn’t find out about your little scheme? I know it was you who sent that virus which completely destroyed everything I had pertaining to the O Enlightened Prince Rabadash and myself. Darling, I must say that of all the jokes that I myself have played upon my fellow Tarkaans and Tarkheenas, nothing could compare to this. And do not think for a moment that I am complimenting you. I believe that it would be wise of you to confess to this charade, for I am long since having lost my patience and being forced to write to you with some manner of civility. You will know from here on out that the Prince is mine, and you will never have him. And there is nothing you can do about it, darling, so don’t even try. Give it up now.
Not at all sincerely,
P.S. That dress you wore last year when you came to visit us here in Tashbaan was absolutely unfashionable. It did not match your shoes at all.
~ Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Beautiful. And Rich. And Clever. And Beautiful. ~