Monthly Archives: August 2008

Narnian Credit Card Commercials – Writing Contest #44

You’ve probably seen those Mastercard credit card commercials – they’re priceless, after all. Time to put a Narnian spin on them. List a few things you could possibly buy, and a likely price… and then something priceless. Keep ’em Narnian, and we’ll see what money /can’t/ buy you in Narnia.

Crown made of icicles: $24 Wand that turns others to stone: $57 Giant spooky castle made of ice: A couple thousand Watching it all melt as Aslan brings spring: Priceless.

Honorable Mentions

Calorcard by Pocketses
Shoes curling up at the toe: 50$
Jewel-encrusted scimitar: 345$
Vizier That Will Allow you to Kick Him: 576.50
Seeing a Calormene prince get turned into a donkey: Priceless
There’s thing’s money can’t buy, but then there’s Calorcard.

Eternal Life by Jackie Lewis
Lion-skin costume: $58
Weapons and armor for three humans, a unicorn, an eagle, a donkey and a dwarf: $375
Stable door to another world: $700,000
Eternal life in Aslan’s Country: priceless.

There are some things money can’t buy. For everything else, there’s MasterCard.

HHB by Terb
Price of Shasta as bargained by Arsheesh and Rishda Tarkaan: 40 crescents
Price on the head of a thief who steals a war-horse like Bree: 510 crescents
Price of the products of the fruiterers and the sweetmeat sellers and the wine merchants for the pretend-party at Splendour Hyacine: 2,240 crescents
Seeing Rabadash change into a donkey in front of your own eyes: Priceless.

Lucy by Ramandu’s Daughter
Cricket set: $50
Authentic 1940’s clothes: $120
Replacing the Profesor’s window: $1100
Seeing the look on my siblings faces when they step into Narnia: Priceless

Caspian by Narnian Angel
Horse: $350
Fireworks: $28
Fake forest: $10,000
Wacthing Ben Barnes hit his head on a tree branch: Priceless.

Some things you can’t buy. for everything else there’s Narniacard

Magician’s Nephew by Sir Arieh
London row house: £1,300

Green and yellow rings: £65

Cab ride: £0.75

Experiencing Narnias creation and hearing Aslan’s song: Priceless

On fashion by bism
Gem encrusted turban: small fortune
pointy calormen shoes: 15 crescents
fashionable veil: 6 crescents
Not giving two hoots what you wear in narnia: worthless, er I mean priceless

What is Past by Anastasia
A wooden door frame: $26
A golden key: $245
Treatment for frostbitten hands: $472
Closing the door on what lies dead and frozen: Priceless

Dragoned by Some Narnian
Island with a Dragon’s cave~20,000 Narnian Lions
Pile of Dragon’s booty~2,000 Narnian Lions
A lost Lord’s armband~200 Narnian Lions
Getting undragoned~Priceless

Narnian Credit Card Commercials by ~Lady Liln~
Umbrella: $23
Several brown paper parcels: $37
Red wool scarf: $14
Meeting a Daughter of Eve from the far land of Spare Oom where eternal summer reigns around the bright city of War Drobe and taking her to your cave for tea: Priceless

Snowball fight by Lyrical
Fur coats: $50
Wardrobe: $1500
Mothballs: $5
Beating your siblings in a snowball fight: Priceless.

Lucy’s Gifts by Lenore
Rather large fur coat: $500
A dagger with belt: $35
A small vial of healing ointment: $500,000
The heart to see Aslan and follow him: priceless

“I Want MyTLC” by Dearheart
Laptop: $1200
AntiVirus protection: $40
Comfortable chair: $100
Going online to hugtackle my friends at TLC: Priceless 🙂

The Four by Jackie Lewis
A gold and silver sword that kills wolves: $1150
An ivory horn that always brings help: $2140
A diamond bottle with healing cordial: $3800
Getting your brother back: priceless

There are some things money can’t buy; for everything else, there’s MasterCard.

Freedom from Darkness by Jackie Lewis
A magical lute and powder that make sweet sound and scent: $679
A suit of black armor that hides your identity: $1090
An enchanted silver chair that keeps you trapped for an hour every day: $4000
Being freed from the clutches of the Queen of the Underland by two children and a Marshwiggle: priceless.

There are some things money can’t buy; for everything else, there’s MasterCard.

Voyage by Pomona
Large Narnian ship: thousands
Enough supplies for a year and a day: thousands more
Traveling with Eustace: all your patience
Seeing the End of the World: priceless

For the love of costume designers! by Dancing Dryad
Exotic fabric from India: $1,500
Handmade chainmail from Turkey: $3,000
Spraying orange soda ALL OVER this newly-made costume as an /innocent/ prank: Priceless

Narnia: It’s everywhere you want to be! by Deannalyn
Train tickets to English countryside: $50. Horse drawn carriage (without annoying housekeeper): $200. Tudor style house on English countryside (with funny old professor): $500,000. Antique wardrobe with elaborate wood carvings, $500. Entering the magical world of Narnia: Priceless!

Seafarer by Gwydion
Expenses for ship-making: fifty Lions.
Purple dye on the sails, just because: forty-eight Trees.
Enough arms for the entire crew: twenty-five Lions.
Watching Eustace break my second-best sword doing something heroic: absolutely pricless. Unless you count the price of the sword, which was, by the way, thirty Trees.

movie by ChabeMica
Taxi from home to the theatre: $10
Movie tickets for you and your friends: $12
Pop-corn for everyone: $18
Watching Aslan roar in the big screen: Priceless.

and the winner

Alberta and Harold Scrubb by Lirenel
Books on raising “very up-do date and advanced” children: $35
Special kinds of underclothes: $20
Tuition to the Experiment House for superior education: $4,500
Realizing your son believes in flat worlds and talking lions like his commonplace and tiresome cousins: priceless


Don’t forget to check out the winners of the last .

Smooge: A Fan Fiction Carol

Emma-Leeza Smooge is the worst of the worst. She drools over William Moseley’s “geeeorgeous blue eyes”. She uses paragraphs the size of napkins to describe her disgusting Mary Sues. Her spelling and grammar are enough to give people seizures. But on Chris