Dear Abby – Writing Contest #62

What if Narnia had an advice column in a newspaper? What would they write? What would they ask for? Write your letters and send them in! Winners will be posted at the end of April.

Example:

Dear Abby,

I believe that I may need your advice. Not that you’ll pay much attention to what I’m going to say. You probably won’t even answer me, or even read the letter. You are probably a very busy person and don’t have time for marshwiggles like me. I’m a pessimist, you see. My friends, Jill and Eustace, say that I should look on the brighter side of things, but I just can’t see how I ever could. Anyway, if you’ve got time (which I’m sure you probably don’t), would you have any advice for me?  -Puddleglum

Don’t forget to check out last month’s winning entries here!

Honorable Mentions:

Eustace finally has the brains to seek advice by Pevensie#5

Dear Abby,

My cousins Edmund and Lucy are coming to stay with me for a few months during the war. I have to say I do NOT enjoy their company. With their fanciful novels and imaginations, they are enough to make one sick. I prefer books of real information. I need some advice as how to give them the worst possible time while they are in my home.
Almost Sincerely,

Eustace Clarence Scrubb

P.S. Are you allowed to investigate legal ramifications of impaling relatives?

Speak Up by ShiofNarnia

Dear Abby,

I have a problem. All these young people nowadays mumble so quietly you can hardly hear a word they’re saying! It is rather irritating, and I find myself ready to lose my temper at the next mumbler who comes to speak to me! I’m not deaf by any means, but if they would just speak loud and clear I might be able to get something out of them. Before I explode, is there any advice you can give me so as not to lose my temper and/or to encourage these youngsters to speak up? -Trumpkin

Plea from Tashbaan by narniagirl11

O Most Exalted Abby,

As a humble and broken-hearted prince, I come to you for your great wisdom. King Edmund of Narnia refuses to give to me in marriage his beauuuuuuutiful sister, Queen Susan the Most Excellent, Most Gracious, Most Noble, Most Charming maiden who ever live. I’ve tried to be patient and change his mind, but he won’t listen to me. I love Susan too much to just give up! What should I do?

– Rabadash

And the winner!

They won’t let me die in peace by QueenoftheUnderground

Dear Abigail,

Though, foolish mortal you are, I need your advice. I have been killed by that horrid pussy cat. Now, you might think that is the crux of my problems. But, no. It gets worse. Those fiendish beasts in the far off land called “Hollywood” won’t let me pass on. They seem to think I wish to pull Swayze and come back as a ghost time and time again, just to torment that silly pretender king, Edmund. I await your advice Abigail.

Jadis, Once Queen of Narnia, Past Chatelaine of Cair Paravel, ect. ect.

Don’t forget to check out the winners of our last contest!

2 thoughts on “Dear Abby – Writing Contest #62

Comments are closed.