The Narnialympics: Day Three

Due to poor weather conditions last night, we at Azim Balda Broadcasting apologize for the lateness in this report on the Narnialympics. We will now go to Ariel_of_Narnia, live on location in Bernstead.

Hello to our audience at home! I am standing on the easternmost stretch of beach on the sidelines of the ten-kilometer swimming marathon, but as the event has not yet begun, it will have to wait for my next report.

Yesterday’s event was high jump, by far the most scientific event to judge. For those of you who don’t know, the wide range in creatures that compete in this event require high jump to be judged according to the contestants’ own physical builds in proportion to the height of their jumps.

And who should start off the event but the only Giant contestant, Wimbleweather of Narnia? An imposing figure on the field, to be sure, but the poor chap did not seem to be aware of the rules of proportions, for he gave just enough of a hop to clear the bar set for him. Regardless, landing shook the grounds, toppling thirteen Dwarfs in the stands closest to the bar as well as the First Aid pavilion. Thankfully, no one was injured in the event, but the Narnialympic committee is already promising to address the safety issues this has brought up before the tournament to come in four years.

Another issue the committee has promised to address in full by the next Narnialympics is the addition of a rule to the event, due to the actions of one Doctor Cornelius of Narnia, who used magic to raise him over the bar. His argument was that the high-jump rules had specifically stated that winged creatures were not permitted to compete and the use of poles was not acceptable for this event, but never was there mention of the use of magic. After the judges held a brief conference, it was decided that Doctor Cornelius was to be disqualified.

With the exception of the disqualified Calormene entry in javelin (details here), high jump marks the first event in which Narnia has not claimed all three medals (for details on the gymnastics events, read here). Bree the Talking Horse from Narnia, veritably took our breaths away when he soared up, rather than forward, and earned the bronze medal. Despite the performance (and resulting mishap) of Wimbleweather of Narnia, the Giant claimed the silver medal. Gold was claimed by a creature who refused to identify himself by any name or title except that he was called a “Dufflepud” and that he was from Coriakin’s Island in the East. He did explain that his single leg and very large, single foot were what allowed him to leap, not unlike a grasshopper, and to leap as high as he did. Despite his pride over having won the gold, the Dufflepud did say, “I wish I couldn’t jump so high because then I wouldn’t be so ugly.” He refused to elaborate on his comment, so we are all left to wonder what he meant, but in the meantime, we wish to congratulate the medalists on their winnings!

For live coverage of the 2016 Narnialympics, please join us here on our games thread!