The Lord of the Rings

Fan Fiction inspired by The Chronicles

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The Lord of the Rings

Post by Nicky Gabriel » Sun May 10, 2015 8:54 am

Hallo! It’s my first story here and my first Narnia fanfiction ever. I would love to know what you think if you decided to read it and constructive criticism is encouraged and welcomed!




The Lord of the Rings
by Nicky_Gabriel


It’s far past midnight, it’s cold and the garden is dark. No moon to betray their presence, no neighbors to witness their crime. Yet, Edmund feels as if something... somebody is watching them.

Everything in him screams they shouldn’t be there, that they should leave, that they shouldn’t even have come, but he can’t come up with an alternative. Peter is Edmund’s High King wherever they go. So here he is, by his brother’s side, preparing to dig out the rings. They’d already broken in and gone against the Law that the Great Lion Himself set up not only for Narnia, but for the Earth as well.

Peter opened the gate and they slid into the garden soundlessly. He might want to be a doctor one day and follow in their father’s footsteps, but he and Edmund both remembered Oreius’ lessons in the art of war (or picking up locks) and obstacles such as gates meant nothing to them. They don’t have much time left anyway.

Peter handed him a shovel he found in the nearby shed, and Edmund can see in his eyes what he’s been seeing for years. He sees how terribly Peter misses Narnia, how much it hurts him to have no hope of ever going back. How much he wants to be part of anything that reminds him of their old home. Edmund can’t ignore the fact that they’re making the greatest mistake of their life. In Edmund’s case, maybe the second greatest – he’s seen the Stone Table after all.

The tree is exactly where he remembers. Seeing it, he’s hit with such overwhelming sense of impending disaster that he needs to lean on the shovel, or he would fall apart here and now.

Peter moves forward but Edmund grasps his arm.

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” he says.

“What?” Peter looks at him, surprised. “We can’t leave without the rings. Eustace and Jill won’t be able to get to Narnia without them. They weren’t banned, and that’s the only way to return for them.”

They way he says ‘banned’, the way his voice quivers. It’s all there again, but Edmund is nauseated at the prospect of digging for the rings. The price is too high.

“No,” he says firmly.

“I can do it alone,” Peter offers.

Of course, he would offer, even though he can’t understand half of the things Edmund can ‘feel’. And oh, Edmund can feel.

“No, Peter. It’s not the only way.” Edmund holds onto his brother’s arm for dear life.

“We’ve already tried to come up with some other way and none of us succeeded. Any brilliant last moment ideas?” Peter asks. He’s not being sarcastic. He’s just... desperate.

He is also right. The last two days are a blur. As if Edmund wasn’t part of the scheming and plotting. As if he was an observer from the side, trying to figure out what it all is actually about.

He bits his lip and looks at the dimly lit house again. They’ve already had this discussion.

“Aslan can send Eustace and Jill back,” he says.

“He’s not exactly a tame Lion.” Peter reminds him. “Do you know how to persuade Him to do it?”

Edmund frowns. The feeling of being observed returned with vehemence. He hasn’t been able to get rid of it ever since they got on the train that brought them here.

“It won’t be necessary,” he says, lowering his voice. Just in case. “Every time Narnia needed any of us, He sent us there. And this... phantom we’d seen wasn’t Him. On the other hand, every time someone used the rings, terrible things happened.”

“Without the rings, Narnia wouldn’t even exist,” Peter says as if trying to find a reason to go on.

“You don’t really believe it!” Edmund will never accept it! “Do you?” He loves Narnia too much to simply believe it was an accident. No matter what history teaches them. “Peter, just think before we do something we will regret. Please!”

“We can’t leave without these rings.” Peter’s blue eyes darken.

Remembering the tragedy when they tried to help Caspian. Peter has nightmares even now. Edmund’s heart breaks for him, but the price would be unacceptable.

“We can’t leave with them. If we take them, it will mean...” He sighs, frustrated. It’s like when he learned about the White Witch’s claim over every traitor in Narnia. He couldn’t understand how breaking that law would destroy an entire realm. It was... too much. That’s how he felt now. Like everything was falling apart.

“Aslan ordered to bury them. Peter, I can’t...” No words could explain how much this command meant to him. Here, in England so little was left of what Edmund remembers and loves of Narnia – his family, the old mansion, the wardrobe, their memories. Of Aslan here is only this one simple order. If that’s the only thing Edmund can ever hope for, so be it. He won’t break it, even if the fate of Narnia depended on using the rings.

He felt Peter’s hand on his shoulder. “Ed, they were used to drag Jadis to Narnia, but you can’t let her hold you back.”

“You think that’s why I don’t want to help Eustace and Jill?” It’s as if Peter hit him. “Back there I supported your every decision. If He hadn’t made clear what He wanted, you decided. You were, and are, my High King. Don’t make me choose now!”

Little does he know that soon he will have to choose. In a different world, in a different time, but he will have to. Soon.

“If Narnia needs help.” Edmund tries once more. “Aslan won’t have to be persuaded.”

Peter looks at him for what feels like eternity. “How do you know what He wants?” he whispers.

And that’s it. Peter’s finally ready to listen.

There is only one answer. “I don’t know what He wants, but I know what He doesn’t want.”

A moment passes, then another and then... Peter smiles slightly. “Good, but you’re going to explain our friends why they have to figure out another way to get there.” The haunted look in Peter’s eyes remains, but there is also something else. Hope?

Edmund sighs with relief and Peter covers his hand with his palm. “Ed...”

“I know.” His heart breaks into pieces and suddenly it’s hard to keep breathing. He wants to use the rings as much as Peter. To save the world again. To breathe the Narnia air again. To just go Home. This is why he can’t get anywhere near those cursed things. He doesn’t trust himself that much.

“Thanks, brother.” Peter lets go and leans so his forehead briefly touches Edmund’s temple. “Don’t worry,” he whispers. “There’s a reason there were four sovereigns ruling one Kingdom. We’ll figure it out.”

“I don’t think we’ll have to.” Edmund smiles and looks up at where the rings are hidden.

And gasps. The Great Lion is standing exactly where they were not supposed to dig.

Alarmed, Peter turns around and freezes.

Edmund wouldn’t have uttered a word if his life depended on it. He has never forgotten how the Magic felt. It’s imprinted on every cell of his body. Narnia runs through his veins even here, or is it – especially here, where that is all he has left? Now, everything that he lost is standing in front of him.

Edmund looks away. He doesn’t want to see disappointment on Aslan’s face. They haven’t exactly gone against His law, but they were close enough. He’s there to stop them, right?

“Aslan?” Peter is the first to speak.

It’s as if time stood still. Edmund can hear soft steps and the Magic envelops him like a blanket. He couldn’t escape even if he wanted to. He doesn’t want to.

“You did well, Dear Ones.”

Edmund swallows hard. He can’t... He’s not... He looks up. Meeting Aslan is always as if meeting Him for the first time, and suddenly it’s like he’s ten years old again. There is just one thing left to do. He takes a step toward the Great Lion and buries his face deeply into His mane.

“I missed you,” Edmund whispers.

He can sense Peter on the other side of the Lion, his brother brushing his fingers against Edmund’s hand, but nothing else matters right now. There is no cold anymore, no darkness.

”I'm glad you stuck through it until the end,” Peter whispers from next to him.

After an eternity that is too short, Edmund steps back, but doesn’t let go.

“I – I had no choice,” he answers. The alternative was unthinkable.

“You always have a choice, but you choose wisely.” Aslan smiles at them. “Your friends have been called to Narnia and it’s up to Me how they get there. For you, I have another adventure prepared if you are willing.”

Another adventure? But how? They can’t go back to Narnia, right? They were forbidden to return. Aslan never would do anything against the Law. He hasn't broken the Law. Ever.

“I am willing,” Peter says immediately.

Edmund isn’t surprised. It kills Peter to be restrained to England. To stick to the memories so few of them share. To have nothing else but memories.

Edmund hesitates. He wants to come back, but what if it’s another test? Hasn’t he been tested enough?

Aslan smiles at him. “There are other worlds than these, Edmund.”

Yes, he’s learned about them the hard way. In Narnia, they were Kings and Queens. In England, they were just the Pevensies. What would they be in the other worlds? Who would they be?

Was he willing?

He meets Peter’s eyes and sees the truth. They would be a tool in the hands of much greater power than they could even start to comprehend. As always. Edmund smiles. He won’t be alone – wherever they are sent, he will have two best friends by his side.

As before, when they were returning to Narnia for the first time, it happens in a blink of an eye. Everything is falling apart fast. Peter grasps Edmund’s arm, and he leans against him, seeking more support than his legs are giving him. Peter is always the one he can count on.

Suddenly, they are in some dark and silent forest. No sounds, no movement, no people.

It isn’t Narnia. And it isn’t Earth. The magic is different, the air is different.

Only the Lion in front of them is the same.

Edmund looks around. This place is to be their new home. This world needs their help – they wouldn’t have been called here if that wasn’t so. Then he feels it. There’s a great evil in this world, almost as strong as the White Witch’s.

Edmund steps away from Peter’s grasp, because he doesn’t want his brother to notice the fear that suddenly threatens to overwhelm him, but Peter doesn’t let him. Leave it to Peter, they are in this mess – whatever it is – together.

It starts to rain and Edmund turns toward Aslan, who waits patiently. “Will You tell us, what we’re supposed to do here?” he asks hesitantly. They usually don’t get any straight answers anyway but there’s no harm in asking.

“I want you to be who you are,” is His answer. “Brothers and kings.”

“That’s... easy,” Edmund says, and smiles.

“Has it ever been easy before?” Aslan smiles back.

Edmund looks at Peter and his brother grins, brightly. They would walk through fire for each other.

“No,” they answer simultaneously.

It’s raining heavily now and the forest is so dark that just Peter’s hair shines in the darkness.

“Do they know You in this world?” Peter asks.

“Is that important?” Aslan tilts His head.

Edmund has never thought about that before. Is it important? Or is it enough that they know Him from the other worlds?

“You will have to find out for yourselves,” Aslan says.

Edmund nods and hugs Him for the last time. It’s the end. The waiting’s over. Since Lucy and he left Narnia, he tries to live with what England can offer, but it’s never enough. How could it be when he’s experienced so much more? He’s lost his home over and over again, and now he is being given another chance.

He’ll have to let go finally. They’ll be left here alone do deal with who knows what, but as long as he can, he wants to savor every second he’s given. After an eternity that is too short, Edmund steps back.

“You’ve found Me in your own world,” Aslan says. “You will find Me here, too. I like watching you search for Me.”

Edmund knows he won’t have to look far. Wherever they go, He will walk right next to them. Another lesson learned the hard way.

The End
Last edited by Nicky Gabriel on Sun May 10, 2015 4:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Dear God,
No matter what happens, give me the heart that is willing to obey You whatever cost may be.
Love,
Me


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Re: The Lord of the Rings

Post by Ariel.of.Narnia » Sun May 10, 2015 4:11 pm

Oh my.... I'd never thought of the morality of digging up the rings. But I'm glad it played out the way you wrote it. Their meeting Aslan again was so powerful. Just wow! (And now I'm curious as to where they ended up and the effects of being pulled from /that/ world back to England just in time for the train accident that finally takes them Home.)
Really, the only constructive criticism I can give is to point out a couple teeny mistakes (such as "prize" when you meant "price") and the parenthesized "or picking up locks" (we would still understand that Oreius taught them that without that explanation).
Lovely, lovely work!
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Re: The Lord of the Rings

Post by gypsevedius » Sun May 10, 2015 9:17 pm

That's VERY GOOD, Nicky Gabriel! I love it. :D
If you see a typo in this message, let me know. *facepalm*
^.^ *is such a suspicious looking unicavvey*
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Re: The Lord of the Rings

Post by alexandanor » Mon May 11, 2015 3:16 pm

Amazing piece of work. I love your writing style! It makes it so easy to picture what's happening. Again, wonderful job! :)
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Re: The Lord of the Rings

Post by hobbit_of_narnia » Mon May 11, 2015 10:03 pm

Oooooh...very nice! I like it!
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Re: The Lord of the Rings

Post by Shield Maiden » Tue May 12, 2015 9:02 pm

*screeches while flailing around and squeals*
*tries to compose herself*
*continues flailing*
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Re: The Lord of the Rings

Post by marmota-b » Wed Jun 24, 2015 8:17 am

Wow.
I like it very much.
Although I wonder, what happens to the rings exactly? Because they do send that telegram that they have them...
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Re: The Lord of the Rings

Post by Nicky Gabriel » Sun Jun 28, 2015 12:58 pm

Chapter 2: Traitors

Summary: Susan is the first one to find Aslan in her own world. Unfortunately that’s only one of her problems.


England, 1949

Just because Susan Pevensie doesn’t like to fight, it doesn’t mean she can’t. She’s not only the Gentle Queen, but also a warrior Queen when needed; yet, there are battles that even she can’t win no matter which world the war is taking place in. Fighting against herself always leaves her a loser, and she doesn’t like losing. That’s why she’s leaving the Jacqmar Fashion House right now with a feeling of imminent disaster.

Today’s shift was hard. She had to deal with some of the most demanding customers. If she hadn’t dealt with more difficult diplomatic issues in the past, she would have just started screaming and run away. But she isn’t a quitter either, so she’s just concentrated on having lunch with her younger brother and dealt with all the obstacles the world threw under her feet. In a different world, she’s learnt to simply use the obstacles as stairs leading to whatever she wanted to achieve.

Unfortunately, the lunch left her really shaken.

Her siblings know she can’t talk about Narnia. Not because she doesn’t want to, but because she’s already found what she was supposed to find in this world, and that’s her greatest problem, though it seems that she’s the only one actually having a problem with that, however frustrating might that be. Only Edmund isn't holding it against her personally, and they still have lunch or dinner together every Thursday. Today is Thursday and Susan doesn’t know why it feels as if it was the last Thursday of her life. Or the first one?

She checks her purse and turns toward the bus stop. Her feet hurt, but she’s already switched high heels for some more comfortable shoes, and finally, she feels like herself.

Sometimes it’s like she’s a Queen even here. She has to wear what they tell her, she has to say what is expected from her, and she can’t spend as much time with her family as she would like to. Unfortunately, her parents need every penny after her father came back from war injured, and, having no university degree and no useful talents, it’s all she can do to help them. She can hardly make a living of archery and consular protocol. Taking evening classes twice a week is her only luxury, and she hopes to find a job in Civil Service as soon as possible. It doesn’t feel real, but nothing here is real. She’s getting there, though, because there is no coming back for her.

Susan sighs and walks slowly along the river, her meeting with Edmund still fresh on her mind.

*

It’s their usual restaurant. Edmund likes it because the tapestry reminds him of the Great Hall at Cair Paravel. Susan thinks he’s right. Surely, as every week there’s a cat sleeping on the window sill. It's black as the night and its fur all shiny and velvety. The silence between the siblings is never uncomfortable, and Susan just enjoys their time together.

“How do you stand it?” she asks once they have ordered and are waiting for the waitress to bring their lunch.

“What?” Edmund turns from watching the cat.

Susan looks at her hands, her manicure perfect, and bites her lip. “That...in Narnia, He was so close,” she whispers, meeting his eyes. She's tried to ask this question for weeks but never found enough courage to.

Edmund winces and looks away. “It’s... the hardest part,” he admits. “But, well –” He looks up again with firely determination. “If He hadn’t wanted me to remember, He wouldn’t have saved me, right?”

Her confusion must be visible on her face, because Edmund continues, “I figure He only wanted us to find Him here in our world. We don’t actually have to give up the part of our lives that made us...us. He went to too much trouble to expect us to forget Narnia completely.”

Too much trouble... Susan frowns. That’s the problem.

“I feel like...” she tries to explain. “I feel like...”

“A traitor?” Edmund finishes for her.

She looks at him sharply. How..? “Ed!”

“It’s okay, Su.” Edmund reaches for her wrist and squeezes gently.

For a long while they just sit in silence. She can’t say a world, because that’s exactly how she feels, and it’s not just being a traitor but also being the one betrayed, and it’s all just so confusing that she can’t understand it herself. That's why it took her so long to ask. Nonetheless, Edmund is right. He’s always right.

“I know,” she says. “I just don’t know...which one of Them I’m betraying.”

Edmund is smiling now. It's his first really genuine smile. “Oh, Susan, you are not betraying anybody,” he says firmly.

If so, why is she feeling so miserable thinking of Narnia?

“How do you know?” she asks.

“Because He told me.”

“What?”

Edumnd grasps her hand between his own and says, “Su, how do you think I managed to be the Just King? He always told me what was right. It was my Christmas gift. All I had to do was listen. It wasn’t always easy and sometimes I didn’t listen... We both know how well that ended... but even here in England I can feel it! Once a King or Queen...you know how it works. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet...”

Susan bites her lip, fighting threatening tears. “It can’t be that easy.”

“It’s as easy as you let it be, sis.”

And she knows he believes it with his whole heart.

*

For the remaining of her shift she wondered if it was really that simple. Now, she gets to the bus stop five minutes ahead of time, and the feeling of danger is even stronger here. She’s certain her brothers shouldn’t be going to retrieve the rings, and this is most probably the source of the feeling. There is no doubt Edmund would try to stop Peter, but there’s only so much he can do. He would never go against the High King’s orders. Unless...

She freezes and almost drops her purse. Now she remembers why it feels so wrong! The rings were supposed to be hidden and forgotten, so nobody would use them ever again! There’s a reason why it was so, and Edmund knew that! That’s why he was so upset. Maybe if she tried and talked to Peter, she could have made him see that there was no point in going on with his plan? No, he wouldn’t listen to her more than he would listen to Edmund. If anybody had even a remote chance of succeeding, it was her younger brother. But it doesn't make it any easier.

The bus finally arrives; it’s almost empty at that hour. There’s just one man sleeping at the end corner, and there’s the usual driver behind the wheel. The driver greets her with a smile, but he knows better than to try and get her attention. At work she’s paid for flirting if the customers feel like flirting before they purchase the scarves and clothes she’s modeling for them, but when the shift is over, she’s back to being Susan Pevensie from Finchley, and Susan Pevensie doesn’t flirt unless she wants to, and she usually doesn’t want to. There are not many suitors who live up to her expectations anyway.

She takes a seat by the window, still thinking about Edmund. She’s felt the Magic lingering around him when he hugged her. She could sense it as could everybody who has ever visited Narnia, and that scared her. There is always a reason why humans are called to Narnia, and that reason is always dangerous. What could have happend there this time? Hopefully nothing what can't be undone. The presence of Magic was proof enough that her family truly must have encountered a visitor from their other home when they gathered last week.

She leans her forehead against the glass and sighs. She knows Peter, and she knows he wants to go back as much as they all do. She’s pretty sure he won’t use the rings after he retrieves them, if Edmund doesn’t manage to persuade him how stupid this idea actually is – but he will do anything to take over control of the situation. He is the High King, and Aslan wouldn’t have chosen him if it wasn’t in his nature to try to save the day whenever it needs saving.

Susan closes her eyes, remembering the Magic. She knows it’s not quite right to miss Narnia as much as she does, but she can’t help it. She should have already got over the past adventures, but the Gentle Queen is a part of her she can’t just give it up, however much she's trying. Giving up Narnia would mean giving up her family, and she doesn’t think she’s strong enough to make such a sacrifice. It feels as if she was losing them already, and if that hurts as much as she’s hurting, she doesn’t want to know what pain she would have to face if she’d actually lost them all.

The driver stops at the next bus stop, and somebody gets on, but Susan looks out the window, still clinging to the feeling that her lunch with Edmund left. Instead of fading, the Magic is getting stronger, and she’s fighting tears now, because the longing is worse than physical pain could ever be. It’s just like when she first touched the wardrobe at the Professor’s and like it was at the station before they returned to Narnia for the second time.

Susan bites her lip and shakes her head fighting the tears that threaten to fall. She's an adult! Why can't she just act like one? Like a traitor... She can’t go on like that! She can’t live in two places at the same time.

It’s just so hard to give up on any of them.

The new passenger walks toward the back of the bus. She can see his blurry silhouette reflecting in the window. When he stops next to her seat and sits down, she turns to face him, determined to tell him with a sharp look that she’s not interested in any company, and...she meets the most golden eyes she’s ever seen in her life. Eyes she hasn’t dared to hope to see again.

*

"Asl..."

"Will you listen to Me, Susan?"

“It’s as easy as you let it be, sis.”

"I am."

The End


(There is art created for this story, but I am not allowed to post links, so you will have to use your imagination.)
Dear God,
No matter what happens, give me the heart that is willing to obey You whatever cost may be.
Love,
Me


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Re: The Lord of the Rings

Post by Ariel.of.Narnia » Sun Jun 28, 2015 4:36 pm

Hmm, this is interesting! Its a whole different view of Susan, but I'm liking it. :)
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Re: The Lord of the Rings

Post by hansgeorg » Wed Jul 08, 2015 2:40 pm

A thought:
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
“Do they know You in this world?” Peter asks.

“Is that important?” Aslan tilts His head.

Edmund has never thought about that before. Is it important? Or is it enough that they know Him from the other worlds?
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

When Su and Pete, then Lu and Ed were sent back for last time to England, it was in order to learn to know "Aslan" in this world.

In other words, they should by this time already be Christians knowing the catechism.

So, is it a giving up on how Aslan is known in this world, or is it a reflection on whether anyone in this world knows Christ?

Other thought:
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Peter handed him a shovel he found in the nearby shed, and Edmund can see in his eyes what he’s been seeing for years. He sees how terribly Peter misses Narnia, how much it hurts him to have no hope of ever going back. How much he wants to be part of anything that reminds him of their old home. Edmund can’t ignore the fact that they’re making the greatest mistake of their life. In Edmund’s case, maybe the second greatest – he’s seen the Stone Table after all.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Is the problem a question of rings being property of who bought the house, or it the problem a question of licitness of using rings at all?

I'd agree with the latter one. Therefore in my fan fic, the search for rings fail (Jill's words to Tirian are "shortened by CSL") and instead they try a train journey to Narnia in Italy (or Narni as it is called now). In my fan fic, it was however Lucy who insisted they shouldn't take the rings. And I have my idea on how they were stolen. By non-seven-friends curious about Narnia.

Overall, a very good job. A profound short story.
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