LotR/The Hobbit Poems, Rewrites, and Spoofs
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- hobbit_of_narnia
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LotR/The Hobbit Poems, Rewrites, and Spoofs
The first line for this popped randomly into my head yesterday and I wrote the rest of it this morning. Don't get me wrong; some dwarves are great. This poem is mostly in jest. Mostly...
Sing ho! for the dwarves who don’t do any work!
Their warriors are sullen, their king is a jerk.
They build them a kingdom just to have it get stoled
By a dragon who slumbers and snores on their gold.
They hire a hobbit to do all their stealing,
Their plans are all based off of how Thorin’s feeling,
They’re captured by spiders and cannot get out,
They fight with the elves and then run off and pout.
They think they can kill Smaug the Mighty alone,
Though all Thorin wants is that old Arkenstone.
Each battle they fight, in the end, goes berserk.
Sing ho! for the dwarves who don’t do any work!
I also rewrote the lyrics for "Into the West" so that it would fit earlier in the story when Frodo and Sam are going to Mordor; Sam would be the one singing it. It's supposed to be half funny, half sad. My wonderful brother Alexandanor gets the credit for putting the idea in my head.
Lay down
Your sweet and weary head.
Night is falling.
Have we come to journey’s end?
Sleep now; don’t dream
Of the ones who’ve gone before.
Though they’re calling
From the mountains of Mordor.
That which you keep
Causes these tears upon your face.
Soon it will be
Even more heavy than today.
Leading us on,
Gollum is creeping.
What can you see on the horizon?
Why do the Nazgul call?
Across the plain the darkness rises:
The Ringwraiths come to carry you home.
And all will fade to darkest black;
The sun never rises—
No way back.
Hope fades
Into the world of night,
Through shadows falling
Out of memory and time.
Today
We have come unto the end.
Please hear me calling;
Will you never speak again?
I hold you here in my arms,
Yet I am weeping.
What can you see on the horizon?
Why do the Nazgul call?
Across the plain the darkness rises:
The Ringwraiths come to carry you home.
And all will fade to darkest black;
The sun never rises—
No way back into the west.
Sing ho! for the dwarves who don’t do any work!
Their warriors are sullen, their king is a jerk.
They build them a kingdom just to have it get stoled
By a dragon who slumbers and snores on their gold.
They hire a hobbit to do all their stealing,
Their plans are all based off of how Thorin’s feeling,
They’re captured by spiders and cannot get out,
They fight with the elves and then run off and pout.
They think they can kill Smaug the Mighty alone,
Though all Thorin wants is that old Arkenstone.
Each battle they fight, in the end, goes berserk.
Sing ho! for the dwarves who don’t do any work!
I also rewrote the lyrics for "Into the West" so that it would fit earlier in the story when Frodo and Sam are going to Mordor; Sam would be the one singing it. It's supposed to be half funny, half sad. My wonderful brother Alexandanor gets the credit for putting the idea in my head.
Lay down
Your sweet and weary head.
Night is falling.
Have we come to journey’s end?
Sleep now; don’t dream
Of the ones who’ve gone before.
Though they’re calling
From the mountains of Mordor.
That which you keep
Causes these tears upon your face.
Soon it will be
Even more heavy than today.
Leading us on,
Gollum is creeping.
What can you see on the horizon?
Why do the Nazgul call?
Across the plain the darkness rises:
The Ringwraiths come to carry you home.
And all will fade to darkest black;
The sun never rises—
No way back.
Hope fades
Into the world of night,
Through shadows falling
Out of memory and time.
Today
We have come unto the end.
Please hear me calling;
Will you never speak again?
I hold you here in my arms,
Yet I am weeping.
What can you see on the horizon?
Why do the Nazgul call?
Across the plain the darkness rises:
The Ringwraiths come to carry you home.
And all will fade to darkest black;
The sun never rises—
No way back into the west.
If somebody has an idea for a Narnia comic that they weren't planning on making themselves, I <------ This offer still
would be so grateful if they would send it to me in a PM. I am running appallingly low on ideas...! <-- stands.
Re: LotR/The Hobbit Poems, Rewrites, and Spoofs
No comment on the first one.
The song was great though!!! I love that song and you rewrote it beautifully!
The song was great though!!! I love that song and you rewrote it beautifully!
*is such a cocky shapechanger*
I am Kili to Gypse's Fili. And apparently to Alex's Legolas...
*is a Bore sitting on my Bor's head*
I am Kili to Gypse's Fili. And apparently to Alex's Legolas...
*is a Bore sitting on my Bor's head*
- hobbit_of_narnia
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Re: LotR/The Hobbit Poems, Rewrites, and Spoofs
( I didn't think you'd comment on the first one. )
Sooooooooo...I also rewrote "Let It Go" for book-verse Bilbo.
The door was closed to the mountain last night,
The dragon’s nowhere to be seen.
A kingdom of burned destruction,
But Thorin still wants to be king.
They wouldn’t listen when I first said “Get inside!”
Now our exit’s blocked, but at least I tried.
A torch in hand so I can see.
(As always, they’re sending only me.)
Conceal and steal the Arkenstone,
The friendship’s flown!
Here, let’s go,
Let’s all go!
Don’t cower there in the door!
Come, let’s go!
Treasures glow!
What are you waiting for?
Don’t you care?
It seems Smaug’s away,
Come and claim your gold.
I never asked for it, anyway.
It’s funny how some armor
Makes me look almost tall.
Now no sword or spear or arrow
Will get to me at all!
It’s time to see what I can do,
Stop your fight with elves and humans too.
Tonight, so long! Don’t hinder me.
Hurry!
Here I go,
Here I go!
I’m going at least to try.
Chill winds blow,
And I know
I possibly might die.
But here I stand!
Hear what I say!
Else our hope is gone.
And now I hurry to our hideout underground,
And slip back in, all extra-careful not to make a sound.
But now the king’s respect and trust for me is past,
But something must be done, and had to be done fast.
Let me go!
Let me go,
The Arkenstone is gone.
Ere I go,
You should know
Which side the wizard’s on.
Here I stand! This is what I say:
I just want back home!
The gold never bothered me anyway.
Sooooooooo...I also rewrote "Let It Go" for book-verse Bilbo.
The door was closed to the mountain last night,
The dragon’s nowhere to be seen.
A kingdom of burned destruction,
But Thorin still wants to be king.
They wouldn’t listen when I first said “Get inside!”
Now our exit’s blocked, but at least I tried.
A torch in hand so I can see.
(As always, they’re sending only me.)
Conceal and steal the Arkenstone,
The friendship’s flown!
Here, let’s go,
Let’s all go!
Don’t cower there in the door!
Come, let’s go!
Treasures glow!
What are you waiting for?
Don’t you care?
It seems Smaug’s away,
Come and claim your gold.
I never asked for it, anyway.
It’s funny how some armor
Makes me look almost tall.
Now no sword or spear or arrow
Will get to me at all!
It’s time to see what I can do,
Stop your fight with elves and humans too.
Tonight, so long! Don’t hinder me.
Hurry!
Here I go,
Here I go!
I’m going at least to try.
Chill winds blow,
And I know
I possibly might die.
But here I stand!
Hear what I say!
Else our hope is gone.
And now I hurry to our hideout underground,
And slip back in, all extra-careful not to make a sound.
But now the king’s respect and trust for me is past,
But something must be done, and had to be done fast.
Let me go!
Let me go,
The Arkenstone is gone.
Ere I go,
You should know
Which side the wizard’s on.
Here I stand! This is what I say:
I just want back home!
The gold never bothered me anyway.
If somebody has an idea for a Narnia comic that they weren't planning on making themselves, I <------ This offer still
would be so grateful if they would send it to me in a PM. I am running appallingly low on ideas...! <-- stands.
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Re: LotR/The Hobbit Poems, Rewrites, and Spoofs
RRRRRCK. Huhu, that's funny . Nice Hobbi, that's awesome!
♫ The gold never bothered me anywayyyyyyy.....
♫ The gold never bothered me anywayyyyyyy.....
Thank you, Hobbit!
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Re: LotR/The Hobbit Poems, Rewrites, and Spoofs
Love it!
Lady Jaygee, Royal Pianist and Lover of Cats, Knight of TLC
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Re: LotR/The Hobbit Poems, Rewrites, and Spoofs
Perfection.
knight and scribe
lyrics from TobyMac's "New World"
lyrics from TobyMac's "New World"
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Re: LotR/The Hobbit Poems, Rewrites, and Spoofs
That's great, Hobbit! Eria and I love to come up with parodies of Disney songs, sometimes they work and we sing them that way.
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Re: LotR/The Hobbit Poems, Rewrites, and Spoofs
Hobbit- I really liked the "Let it Go" parody! GREAT job!
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Re: LotR/The Hobbit Poems, Rewrites, and Spoofs
Smauggy loved the Let it Go parody.
Lady Albero, Royal Vocalist and Scrivener of Fanfictions, Knight of TLC
Lyrics from House of Gold by Twenty One Pilots
Lyrics from House of Gold by Twenty One Pilots