Re: Elanor's Random Writings
Posted: Sat May 23, 2015 7:43 am
Thanks Ariel and Gyps.
Here's another piece I wrote. It's personal and touches on what I'm going through right now:
The Raindrop and the Ray
Have you ever seen the sun shine its brightest in the midst of a downpour? The rays of light pass over the clouds and touch each droplet of rain, comforting them in their journey to the terrifying new world below. The sun's warm steady glow and the cloud's cool vulnerable drops intermingle in that moment: the secure and the unsure find a way to share that same space.
I'm both that confident ray and insecure drop of rain.
New chapters are exciting, new places too, but when the life you've always known will be left behind – things become muddled. Yes, I'll meet people, perhaps even make a friend or something more; I'll learn things I'll never have learned, see things I'll never have seen, but with such gains there will be loss.
My world here can't be packed in a cardboard box, shipped along the road with my other belongings. No, it must stay here, untouched by me. It must stay here with those familiar street signs I'd pass on same routines, those memories tucked away in my grandmother's yard, those newspapers with the neverchanging name, the schools I've attended in my not-so-distant past, those old libraries I visited from the time I could read, those flowers alongside the road I always wondered at, that old bell tower in the museum I loved, the chime of school ringing the students in and out, the churches I've been to those Sunday morns, that one sunrise and those hidden stars. Family too, my dear extended family, won't be coming with me. They'll stay here, snug as they have always been, while I go on ahead.
“There will be so much opportunity,” I say to myself again and again. I know it's true, and it keeps me going, that warm ray. The cold rain reminds me, “There will be so much to lose.” I know it's true, and I won't deny it.
There is a frightening uncertainty as I fall down to this new earth, but through each, the raindrop and the ray, I'm learning to take my loss with my gain. I can't ignore everything I'm losing, nor do I want to, and I can't look ahead without seeing the light shining above me. There is something beautiful happening here as my insecurity and assurance weave themselves in a mixture of water and light to form something new: a coloured bow in the sky, a sign of hope and of promise.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
So yeah, my life story at the moment. It's really sinking in now that I'm leaving everything, and leaving it forever... which never felt so close as it does now.
In other news, if you haven't noticed already, I'm trying to have something written everyday. It's something I've been wanting to do and I find that there is time for my brain to be actively occupied at night, so I will try to keep this up for a while. (If I do happen to forget to write something, a reminder would be greatly appreciated. )
Here's another piece I wrote. It's personal and touches on what I'm going through right now:
The Raindrop and the Ray
Have you ever seen the sun shine its brightest in the midst of a downpour? The rays of light pass over the clouds and touch each droplet of rain, comforting them in their journey to the terrifying new world below. The sun's warm steady glow and the cloud's cool vulnerable drops intermingle in that moment: the secure and the unsure find a way to share that same space.
I'm both that confident ray and insecure drop of rain.
New chapters are exciting, new places too, but when the life you've always known will be left behind – things become muddled. Yes, I'll meet people, perhaps even make a friend or something more; I'll learn things I'll never have learned, see things I'll never have seen, but with such gains there will be loss.
My world here can't be packed in a cardboard box, shipped along the road with my other belongings. No, it must stay here, untouched by me. It must stay here with those familiar street signs I'd pass on same routines, those memories tucked away in my grandmother's yard, those newspapers with the neverchanging name, the schools I've attended in my not-so-distant past, those old libraries I visited from the time I could read, those flowers alongside the road I always wondered at, that old bell tower in the museum I loved, the chime of school ringing the students in and out, the churches I've been to those Sunday morns, that one sunrise and those hidden stars. Family too, my dear extended family, won't be coming with me. They'll stay here, snug as they have always been, while I go on ahead.
“There will be so much opportunity,” I say to myself again and again. I know it's true, and it keeps me going, that warm ray. The cold rain reminds me, “There will be so much to lose.” I know it's true, and I won't deny it.
There is a frightening uncertainty as I fall down to this new earth, but through each, the raindrop and the ray, I'm learning to take my loss with my gain. I can't ignore everything I'm losing, nor do I want to, and I can't look ahead without seeing the light shining above me. There is something beautiful happening here as my insecurity and assurance weave themselves in a mixture of water and light to form something new: a coloured bow in the sky, a sign of hope and of promise.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
So yeah, my life story at the moment. It's really sinking in now that I'm leaving everything, and leaving it forever... which never felt so close as it does now.
In other news, if you haven't noticed already, I'm trying to have something written everyday. It's something I've been wanting to do and I find that there is time for my brain to be actively occupied at night, so I will try to keep this up for a while. (If I do happen to forget to write something, a reminder would be greatly appreciated. )