Lily's NAPO '17

Novels, short stories, poems, essays (anything original and not derived from existing works)

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hobbit_of_narnia
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Re: Lily's NAPO '17

Post by hobbit_of_narnia » Tue Apr 18, 2017 1:26 pm

I don't know; I think it's great. But then again...this kind of poetry I haven't had much experience with. So I'm not one to make suggestions.
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If somebody has an idea for a Narnia comic that they weren't planning on making themselves, I <------ This offer still
would be so grateful if they would send it to me in a PM. I am running appallingly low on ideas...! <-- stands. :)
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Re: Lily's NAPO '17

Post by Lily of Archenland » Tue Apr 18, 2017 10:03 pm

...The haphazard semi0-rhyming kind? ;) I have exactly one poem in this batch so far following a traditional format. :p I just - want the rhythm to make sense to me if I read it allowed instead of just following the words i guess?

I'm glad you're enjoying my weirdness. ^_^
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Re: Lily's NAPO '17

Post by Lily of Archenland » Sun Apr 23, 2017 1:33 pm

Sorry that was... being hypercritical of myself in response to a compliment, kind rude on my part. <.< You're a cool human and I'm glad you like my stuff thank you. ^_^

Costumes
[4/22/2017]
I`m piecing together broken bits,
Liar`s jewels and manmade clay,
Cut ribbon from Christmas past
And autumn leaves out of season.
After this morning I`ll wrap them around
An old ash-colored bridesmaid`s dress
And try to become more than myself.
After this morning I`ll wear a dream.
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Re: Lily's NAPO '17

Post by Lily of Archenland » Sun Apr 23, 2017 2:13 pm

New for Old
[4/23/2017]
The sounds will change,
I know. I’ll
Stop taking it for granted,
The rhythms of this house around me,
16 years within these walls
(wash machines and local birds and
Squirrels on tin shed roof,
Storms in maple leaves)
And 27 with parents’ voices,
22 with sisters’.
I’ve dreamed of flight in waking hours,
As once I dreamed in sleeping—
No easy freedom,
Always running away
From some invisible fear
Or towards some hope or loved one,
And wingless, rising by pure will-power.
I could fly among new birds
And learn their songs,
Find the shape and rhythm
Of deepened traffic and daily buses
And shining towers of steel and glass,
Wood-floored apartments
And corner cafes.
There will be new sounds.
The sounds will change.
Lily of Archenland
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Re: Lily's NAPO '17

Post by Lily of Archenland » Mon Apr 24, 2017 1:26 am

Ghost voices
[4/23/2017]
Your words are empty.
You can`t own me.
You`re all shattered glass
And huddled fear,
Tears spent and darkness passed.
Your voice may stay, but your strength won`t last.
My light is drawing near.
My lady`s stars are in the sky,
White and golden banners fly;
And you`re no Power or predator,
No demon
To me.
Your fangs are gone,
I will be free.
Your rage weighs less
Than a deadwood tree.
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Re: Lily's NAPO '17

Post by Lily of Archenland » Tue Apr 25, 2017 12:26 pm

Accompanied
[4/25/2017]
I nest in the pre-morning quiet,
Deep burrow of pillows and pale new light
Through the dusty blinds,
Fan blades like heartbeats,
Twin bed quiet next to me.
Twin bed twin life paths splitting -
I realize I`ve never been alone.
Your presence your absence your
Seal plush from the coast,
Tangle-maned childhood horses,
Muddles of well-thumbed books
On mustard yellow shelves
Were like a ghost in our room
The months you were gone,
A pale shape filling the space
Where your sleeping breath should be.
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Re: Lily's NAPO '17

Post by hobbit_of_narnia » Tue Apr 25, 2017 12:28 pm

Very nice, Lily! There's so much feeling in that one that I can almost hear you saying it out loud, and I don't even know what your voice sounds like. :P
Image
If somebody has an idea for a Narnia comic that they weren't planning on making themselves, I <------ This offer still
would be so grateful if they would send it to me in a PM. I am running appallingly low on ideas...! <-- stands. :)
Lily of Archenland
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Posts: 428
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Re: Lily's NAPO '17

Post by Lily of Archenland » Tue Apr 25, 2017 12:34 pm

Thanks, Hobbit. :) I always love it when I see someone else's poetry with a strong "voice", so it's fun to know I can come across that way! ^_^

I've been processing a lot of family feelings in my poetry this month is seems like, partly because this summer I'm going to be moving out. For the first time. In my late twenties. To another city. It feels like a much-needed and overdue step and things have been getting Complicated with my parents, I could use some space, but I'm so used to having a clan around me of people who know each other's in-jokes and personal history, and I know it will be a major change!
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Re: Lily's NAPO '17

Post by Swanwhite » Wed Apr 26, 2017 2:58 pm

What a treasure trove, Lily. Right from the gate "Second-hand box" packed a punch. What a powerful analogy. It was so vivid for me. The terrible beauty of gunshots works so well as a metaphor for the impact your art has.
Your lines on internet friendship ring very true for me as well.
"I am not safe, and I don’t know if I’m good" is referencing Aslan right? And do I read this and the next one correctly if I take them as Easter poems? Powerful stuff.
"This Body's not a Womb" was an interesting read for me. I think you may be more pressured in this area than I have, but I understand the circumstance of people being surprised at you not wanting the same things they would want. Like my Mom repeatedly asking if I wanted the window open in my room. Having children is something that I do desire, but I have no definitive feeling of whether I will be or am meant to be a mother some day.
"There is no poetry in pain" felt like something that needed to be said.
I appreciate how honest and open you are in these poems. I tend to avoid that in my own. I make a lot of stuff up and seldom talk about the things that are difficult for me to talk about. All around some really great stuff here. You make me want to be a better poet.

Thank you Lily.
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Re: Lily's NAPO '17

Post by Lily of Archenland » Sun Apr 30, 2017 7:37 am

Thanks so much, Swannie! :)

Saturday Night and O! Morning Come were Easter, yeah. :)

"There's no poetry in pain"... yes. That one DID need to come out.

I think I've always included a lot of vent in my poetry, when I'm in writing mode. It used to be a way to let off steam when I was bad at finding effective words in prose. I like fantastical and whimsical poems as well, but if it's me writing, a large percentage of what happens is just... "put my heart on tap, open the spigot and add rhymes." <.< And I don't think I'd post a lot of these to Facebook or read them in front of family friends necessarily. The stakes are lower with an illusion of anonymity, if that makes any sense.
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