Re: NaNo excerpts, snippets, ideas, discussion
Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2013 6:18 pm
Yeah, that's sort of what I thought. I think it's what I always thought. But if that's the case, what was their "cause of death?" Or was it just like the other Narnians who were alive when Narnia ended. But then what happened in our world? Were their bodies found?
Anyway, while I muse over that, here's a snippet. I should warn you that it is a spoiler of sorts, though the intervening stuff I haven't written yet won't be very exciting. And aren't snippets spoilers by definition? Well don't read this if you don't want to.
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“I wish Susan were awake to see this moment,” mused Vixel. It really is a beautiful seed.
“We must decide very carefully where we are to plant it,” Scaltard pointed out.
Awed silence descended over the group as they gazed at the treasure they had found. After so many years, after so much trouble; they had it at last.
A moan came from the direction of where Susan lay on her soft bed. David and Hedegar rushed over to see if she was waking up, followed by the others, all worried.
There was no change.
“She’s getting worse,” complained David, wondering again whether he shouldn’t risk a trip back to our world. If only he knew the cause of her illness and whether there’d be any cure at home.
“You do realise,” began Hedegar somewhat uncertainly, “That the seed would probably heal her.”
“What!?” asked David.
“No, Hedegar…surely you wouldn’t!...” exclaimed Scaltard at the same time.
Hedegar hung his head, regretting he’d brought it up, but knowing it would be wrong not to let the group decide.
“Why didn’t you mention this sooner? What are we waiting for?” David continued, agitated.
“David,” explained Vixel. “If we use the seed on Susan, that’s it. It’s the last of the breaknut seeds, our only chance at bringing them back and reviving this land. We’ve waited many generations for this. I care about Susan and don’t want her to die, but think about what it would mean…”
“I don’t care,” rebuffed David, getting annoyed. “Isn’t Susan more important than some hypothetical revival of your land? She’s here and now! If it wasn’t for her you would never have begun the search. Maybe you’ll find another seed? But Susan’t life is at stake. We can’t let the chance to save her pass.”
“David, think about what you’re saying,” said Hedegar, trying to sooth him.
“I don’t need to think! I know exactly what is the right thing to do. You’re the ones who don’t seem to be thinking!” With that he stormed off.
The animals watched but did not follow him.
“This is a terrible dilemma,” said Ratel. I wish we didn’t have to make such a hard decision. How do we decide?”
“I think I know how our ancestors felt when they had to choose between the breaknuts began and saving their community from plague and drought” said Hedegar miserably.
The weaver, silently watching the exchange flitted off in the direction of where David sat, some way off, starring at the river.
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Anyway, while I muse over that, here's a snippet. I should warn you that it is a spoiler of sorts, though the intervening stuff I haven't written yet won't be very exciting. And aren't snippets spoilers by definition? Well don't read this if you don't want to.
_________________________________________________________
“I wish Susan were awake to see this moment,” mused Vixel. It really is a beautiful seed.
“We must decide very carefully where we are to plant it,” Scaltard pointed out.
Awed silence descended over the group as they gazed at the treasure they had found. After so many years, after so much trouble; they had it at last.
A moan came from the direction of where Susan lay on her soft bed. David and Hedegar rushed over to see if she was waking up, followed by the others, all worried.
There was no change.
“She’s getting worse,” complained David, wondering again whether he shouldn’t risk a trip back to our world. If only he knew the cause of her illness and whether there’d be any cure at home.
“You do realise,” began Hedegar somewhat uncertainly, “That the seed would probably heal her.”
“What!?” asked David.
“No, Hedegar…surely you wouldn’t!...” exclaimed Scaltard at the same time.
Hedegar hung his head, regretting he’d brought it up, but knowing it would be wrong not to let the group decide.
“Why didn’t you mention this sooner? What are we waiting for?” David continued, agitated.
“David,” explained Vixel. “If we use the seed on Susan, that’s it. It’s the last of the breaknut seeds, our only chance at bringing them back and reviving this land. We’ve waited many generations for this. I care about Susan and don’t want her to die, but think about what it would mean…”
“I don’t care,” rebuffed David, getting annoyed. “Isn’t Susan more important than some hypothetical revival of your land? She’s here and now! If it wasn’t for her you would never have begun the search. Maybe you’ll find another seed? But Susan’t life is at stake. We can’t let the chance to save her pass.”
“David, think about what you’re saying,” said Hedegar, trying to sooth him.
“I don’t need to think! I know exactly what is the right thing to do. You’re the ones who don’t seem to be thinking!” With that he stormed off.
The animals watched but did not follow him.
“This is a terrible dilemma,” said Ratel. I wish we didn’t have to make such a hard decision. How do we decide?”
“I think I know how our ancestors felt when they had to choose between the breaknuts began and saving their community from plague and drought” said Hedegar miserably.
The weaver, silently watching the exchange flitted off in the direction of where David sat, some way off, starring at the river.
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