February 7 Writer's Group Log

[Tenethia]

Many thanks to William for logging for us this week. Please note this is abridged, so if you're looking for something particular and can't find it in here, PM me for the full log.

Those Who Shared Were:
Sir-Edward
Ariel of Narnia
Sir William

Welcome and Announcements:

Tenethia: Hear ye, hear ye! It is now 5:30 Pacific time and Writer's Group shall now commence!
Sir-Edward: *bangs gong!!*
Sir-William: Hear ye, Hear ye! It is now 8:30 Eastern time and Writer's group shall commence
Tenethia: First things first! I have a couple things to go over for those who have been at Writer's the past few weeks. I have some questions and I'd love input.
Tenethia: What do you guys think about how we're doing Writer's right now? Are you enjoying the writing prompts and word sprints, do you feel like we're accomplishing anything, and can you think of any writing exercises or prompts you might be willing to share with me?
Sir-William: Well Ed and I went outside today for like an hour trying to work out some problems with a story he's writing so you guys could help with that
Tenethia: More brainstorming sessions? that's definitely an option. *scribbles it down*
Sir-William: And I always like a good word sprint, plus you've throwing in fun curve balls here and there like the accent thing, so yeh, it's been fun
Sir-Edward: *thinks*
Tenethia: Are you trying to think of words to tell me how awful you think this is, or words to tell me what you think was awesome?
Sir-Edward: Awesome BEYOND words.
Tenethia: Great, glad you're enjoying yourself too. If you think of any ideas for improvement, you can email or PM me or chat me up
Tenethia: Since William mentioned it -- the writing exercise we did a couple weeks back. I had everyone speak like formal royalty to each other last Writer's group, so do some work with characterization and dialogue improvement. The thought was to do that occasionally, but to switch it up.
Tenethia: The question is, was it fun, or incredibly taxing on your mind and stressful?
Sir-William: It was both
Tenethia: Did it prevent you from giving comments on stories at all because you couldn't find the right words/arrangement
Sir-William: It did a little at first, until I realized that as long as no one had to do it, it was fine
Sir-William: half and half
Tenethia: Great William, I'm glad that helped you be more comfortable with it. It /is/ a thing that you just act in character up to whatever level you want to be
Tenethia: Ariel has even thrown the idea at me to have not all the same characters, but different characters. Almost like an RP, but not a story-line continuously going. Thoughts on that, anyone? That way we can react to each other in the way that a character would react to another character. Shall we try /that/ today?
Sir-William: sure, I'll wing it
Inkling: Sure!
Sir Edward: Indeed!
Tenethia: OK, I guess I'll throw out some characters and you guys can grab one: a centaur, a guardsman, a Marshwiggle, a cowboy, a pirate, and Dar or Cole (you'll have to decide how they act.).
*skips that part* Will's a cowboy, Ariel's a centaur, Ed's a guardsman, Inky's a marshwiggle, Swan's Cole, and I'm Dar. No one took the pirate.

Sharing
I have included some of the characterization, just for your amusement.

Tenethia: Friends, we must move forward from this and on to sharing. Has anyone anything to share?
Sir-Edward: indeed I do melady!
Sir-Edward: (ahha! I'll give him a scottish accent!)
Tenethia: Do you now, Guardsman? Does the lady centaur (what do you call those anyway?) have something to share? For we must allow the ladies to share first.
Sir-Edward: indeed we must!
Swanwhite: *bows elegantly*
Ariel.of.Narnia: There are a couple names for us, Lord Dar, though I do prefer "female centaur" myself. I should like to see what others have to offer before presenting my piece, so please your grace.
Tenethia: Very well. Then it shall be so. *smiles slightly*
Sir-Edward: (what about centauress?)
Tenethia: Oh please, not that name. Lord Dar works fine
Tenethia: I mean... very well. Guardsman, you may proceed to share if you still wish to do so.
Inkling: I would offer a name, but it will probably be forgotten anyway..
Ariel.of.Narnia: (Guardsman Edward, "centauress" and "centaurette" are the names I've heard. The former is more to my preference than the latter.)
Tenethia: Undoubtedly, Friend marshwiggle.

Sir Edward Shares:

Sir-Edward: Well anyway you see I've been planning to write a story about the board game "CLUE" I have played the game many times and It seems to be a widely known game. (if you don't know what clue is it's basically a mystery game where somebody did something with a certain object in a certain place, and It's your job to find out who,with what, and where. be the fist to do this and you win the game) anyway the premise is so cool and the "early 1900's manor" thing is just so perfect for mysteries! smiley-lol I have yet to start to write this story (on account that I came up with it rather recently) and I need some help with what the mystery of the manor might be. smiley
Sir-Edward: (does this count as brainstorming?)
Swanwhite: I do like the idea.
Tenethia: Brainstorming and sharing go hand in hand. One cannot have one, and not the other.
Ariel.of.Narnia: *nods gravely in agreement*
Sir-William: ...And when the cows and the geese are together...Ducks fly together!
Swanwhite: Would you be following the general premise of the game, the same characters, rooms and weapons etc.?
Inkling: I tried to brainstorm once, but it rained for days.
Ariel.of.Narnia: Good guardsman, this plan sounds an excellent one.
Swanwhite: *snerks*
Sir-William: Like cakes a'frying on an early morning gridle
Sir-Edward: @swan the characters yes the weapons no
Tenethia: Then, what, pray are the weapons?
Sir-Edward: anything the person who uses them wants.
Sir-William: And the rooms, probably
Swanwhite: Would you be thinking along the lines of a murder mystery still ol' chap?
Sir-William: He was a'thinking more of kidnapping
Sir-William: It makes me think of the sun setting over the plains...
Swanwhite: Oh yeah that a decent bit more cheering
Swanwhite: Do you read many mystery stories, dear boy.
Tenethia: *raises eyebrow* What sort of plans have you laid thus far, Guardsman?
Swanwhite: Oh for me, I would often contend with the professor or madame peacock or some such person
Sir-William: He was thinking of having something in the manor of value. But something other than coins. Or a treasure map. Or more coins, pardner
Ariel.of.Narnia: Perhaps a rare jewel?
Sir-Edward: somebody wants the manor for some reason
Sir-William: Better, but he was thinking perhaps of something that might be of value to the kidnapper only
Tenethia: Perhaps an old secret, even. One hidden for many years, that would cause much damage to the current property owners should it fall into the wrong hands?
Sir-Edward: and he (or she) will stop at nothing to get the manor
Sir-William: like a will?
Ariel.of.Narnia: Or a means of revenge?
Tenethia: *nods thoughtfully* Aye, perhaps a will. Or as the lady centaur has suggested, a means of revenge.
Sir-William: *lassos all ideas *
Sir-William: Good enough Pardner Ed?
Sir-Edward: A means of revenge would require a fair amount of back story to cement who whoud want it..
Sir-William: The beefs a'cooking
Ariel.of.Narnia: A fair point, my good guardsman.
Sir-Edward: the idea of a will... not that would make it rather interesting..
Sir-Edward: but how?
Tenethia: *hms* That is true, Guardsman.
Sir-Edward: and why?
Tenethia: Perhaps, my good man, the manor's current owner does not truly own it. A will was forged giving it to him, and the true will was never discovered. Perhaps the house conceals that will somewhere.
Sir-William: Maybe it wouldn't give the mansion to the other person, but rather a different place or property
Sir-Edward: hmmmm...
Swanwhite: That is a fascinating notion my fellow
Ariel.of.Narnia: Old families have many secrets. Perhaps some investigation would unearth some such.
Sir-William: *nods and riding on horse*
Sir-William: Yeeeeehhaaaaa!!!
Tenethia: William has no idea how out of character my laughing is right now.
Tenethia: Does that give you any ideas, Guardsman?
Sir-Edward: *loves the ideas! Thank you!*

Ariel Shares:

Tenethia: My good Lady Ariel, I believe you have something to say/
Tenethia: without the typo, because that's SO out of character.
Sir-William: *whistles for centaur*
Sir-William: She must be staring at the stars ; )
Tenethia: Our centaur friend has fore-warned me she may be called away suddenly. If this happens, I shall share for her.
Ariel.of.Narnia: *looks down from her viewing of the stars*
Ariel.of.Narnia: If all are agreed, I will proceed to share my piece.
Swanwhite: I am entirely in agreement m'lady
Tenethia: Proceed, ma'am.
Ariel.of.Narnia: I believe Lord Dar had suggested a tale prompt a fortnight ago and I agreed to use it.
Tenethia: Nay, 'twas my friend the Lady South who suggested it.
Ariel.of.Narnia: *bows head apologetically* 'twas to weave a tale based upon a song. I shall not reveal the song till the end, but my tale is titled "Scars".
Ariel.of.Narnia: *puts on a faraway, dreamy look and begins to tell her tale*
Ariel.of.Narnia: Aravis instinctively flinched.
“Are you still tender, Lady?”
“No. I’m sorry.”
A growing roll of cloth was pressed into her hand. She drew it across and passed it back on the other side. Around and around it went until the last of the material simply fell from her shoulders.
“There, that ought to do it,” came Danika’s approving voice. “You’ve healed quite nicely.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really.” She could feel Danika’s fingers lightly brushing against her back, checking, no doubt, for any remaining sore spots or inflammation.
Aravis turned her head some, though certainly not in search of the maid’s face. “Does it look…?”
Danika released her light touch. “I won’t lie to you, Lady. Seems likely they’ll never fade quite away.”
She successfully held back a sigh, but she knew her shoulders drooped, even if only by the tiniest bit. /So. I must bear these always./
“But,” Danika hastened to add, “they will not restrict your range of motion.”
She took refuge in the darkness her closed lids offered, but they flew open again when she felt Danika’s cool hand, seemingly whiter than ever, on her own dark shoulder. Her gaze followed the maid’s arm up till their eyes met. Danika’s eyes were steady and seemed to say something, but Aravis couldn’t gather a meaning from them. /Forever scarred. Irreparably flawed./ That was not what she read in the maid’s face, but it pounded in her temples all the same.
“Shall I help you dress?”
Together, they explored Aravis’ wardrobe, stocked with an array gowns so colourful that Aravis could almost imagine them to be excessive pickings from the castle gardens. In the end, Aravis chose a satin dress of woodland green. Archenlandish fashions were still one of many things she was not yet accustomed to and so she fairly forgot about her wounds until the embroidered bodice was laced and the gossamer bell-sleeves were unfurled.
“Ah, Lady, you look like a princess,” Danika said. “The queen’s grace, blessed be her rest, would hardly have done better for her daughter if ever she had one.”
Aravis turned in front of the mirror, admiring the colour, the airy swish of the skirts, and the intricate simplicity of the embroidery. /I could get used to gowns like this/, she thought approvingly. She especially liked the wide neckline and its touch of familiarity.
There was a knock at the door. With a nod from Aravis, Danika opened the door to reveal a page only a couple years older than Aravis. He bowed. “His majesty, King Lune, and their highnesses, Prince Cor and Prince Corin, wish to advise the Lady Aravis that breakfast has been moved to the garden terrace.”
Aravis dipped into a Calormene curtsey, remembering only the moment afterward that she ought to have given an Archenlandish curtsey instead. “Thank you, Lucas. Please inform his majesty – and their highnesses – that I shall join then shortly.”
Lucas bowed again and departed. Danika gestured toward the door. “Shall we go down to the garden, Lady?”
Aravis looked again in the mirror. “I think I can find my way, thank you, Danika.”
“Is there… anything I can help you with?” the maid enquired, concern knitting her brow.
Aravis turned to face her again and forced a smile. “No, thank you. I will be ready in just a couple minutes more.” Danika curtsied and exited the chamber, closing the door behind her. Aravis stared at the door until she was sure she couldn’t hear the maid’s footfalls, then turned back to face her reflection. Even she was willing to admit that she looked rather nice – attractive, even – in this particular gown and with her curly hair done up like this. /But…./
She reached for the laces on the back of her dress and gently pried them loose. She turned her back to the mirror, and reached a hand over her shoulder and brushed against the beginnings of a ridge. Biting her lip, she steeled herself and made herself look at her reflection. She could practically feel her heart sinking.
/Who would accept me? What woman would befriend me once she knew of my unseemly markings? What man would want an imperfect bride? What god would favour a disfigured disciple?/
Tenethia: (Lucy, Cor, and Aslan)
Ariel.of.Narnia: She didn’t have time to change. /I’ll just cover up with a shawl…./ But she made no move to fetch one. Instead, she ran her fingers over the pale claw marks. Aslan. He had a reason for having wounded her. Really, He could have done more. /But I suppose He had a reason for that too. “Scratch for scratch, blood for blood.”/ That’s what He’d told her.
Aravis’ thoughts turned to Kinza, the slave girl whose unjust punishment was reflected on her own flesh. She thought of home – what once was her home –, of Calormen, of her family and friends – not without some pang of homesickness – and her repulsive betrothed. She remembered her escape with Hwin, their joining Cor and Bree, Tashbaan and all that transpired within its walls, the race to warn King Lune of the coming attack. She smiled over the new life she had in Archenland. And, of course, Aslan.
She sighed again, not with resignation, but with a peculiar happiness. She laced up her dress again as best as she could and threw open her chamber door. The hallway was awash with the morning’s joyous light. Setting her shoulders back and raising her chin as if to dare the sun to match her felicity, Aravis took a deep breath and swept out of her room to join the royal family for breakfast.
Ariel.of.Narnia: *bows her head and spreads her hand from her heart outward in closing*
Sir-Edward: *applauds!* smiley-lol
Tenethia: *raises an eyebrow* and I didn't know about Lady Aravis because...? hmm.
Sir-William: Yeeeeeehhaaaaa!!!!Ride 'em cowboy!!!
Sofia Snow: very good.
Sir-William: Awesome!
Tenethia: It is a lovely piece, Ma'am. I especially approve of your ending.
Sir-Edward: Indeed! smiley-lol
Sir-William: *it brings tears to the eyes of rancher such as I*
Tenethia: The determination which you reflected in how she drew back her shoulder and defied the sun's brightness is typical of Lady Aravis.
Inkling: I kept waiting for horrible things to happen. They inevitably do...
Tenethia: Certainly the sun was not darkened in her eyes on that day.
Tenethia: *smiles approvingly*
Swanwhite: I love Aravis stories
Ariel.of.Narnia: Indeed, Lord Dar. I thank you for having made that comment. It gladdens my heart to know I have woven an adequate ending. I thank you all for your support.
Swanwhite: I'm not sure if the wound as described in the book would be likely to leave scars
Ariel.of.Narnia: Are there any that wish to recommend improvement?
Sofia Snow: none from me
Tenethia: One thing I thought odd was this: "A growing roll of cloth was pressed into her hand. She drew it across and passed it back on the other side. Around and around it went until the last of the material simply fell from her shoulders."
Sir-William: Praise and recommendation go on scale of 4 to 1 for me, pardner
Tenethia: I somehow struggled to picture this, and her Ladyship ended up in my mind looking like a corpse wrapped tightly in cloth.
Tenethia: And I must say the growing roll of cloth was an interesting mental picture.
Ariel.of.Narnia: Fair Swanwhite, I thank you for that. Indeed, I wondered at it myself. My only thought is that, perhaps, the Lady Aravis' flesh takes not wounds kindly. I myself have a scar upon my wrist from a very small and insignificant scratch.
Ariel.of.Narnia: Lord Dar, perhaps my description could be improved. I shall take note of this.
Sir-William: Ed has a million scars ; )
Sofia Snow: cat scratches have left tiny scars on me.
Swanwhite: *nods* fair point
Tenethia: *nods solemnly*
Inkling: Which will likely become gangrenous
Swanwhite: And I like how you deal with her self consciousness about them, and how her attitude changes
Ariel.of.Narnia: (pauses centauress character to laugh at Inky's interjection)
Sir-William: Must comply as well
Tenethia: hmm. *nods in agreement with Lord Cole*
Tenethia: *raises an eyebrow at the Marshwiggle in a way that says "My, what a cheery, friendly character you are! Hi!"
Ariel.of.Narnia: I thank you, Lady Swanwhite. Do you think it was all related adequately?
Tenethia: *considers this* I do believe it was. *nods solemnly*
Sir-William: Well since Aravis was the main object of the story and you mirrored her correctly, I'd say yes

Brief Pause for a Short Role Play Involving Dar and a Guard

Tenethia: *gives everybody fifteen seconds to scream if they have comments for Ariel*
Sir-Edward: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Sir-William: *gives a curt nod in cowboy fashion*
Tenethia: *raises an eyebrow*
Sofia Snow: *covers her sensitive ears*
Tenethia: I should keep my eyebrow raised. Less work. Won't have to keep raising it.
Sir-Edward: *screams for 15 seconds*
Tenethia: Truly, Guardsman? I thought that none would take me so literally.
Ariel.of.Narnia: *regards the guardsman with a slight measure of alarm*
Tenethia: Sound the alarm!
Tenethia: *grabs her sword* er... *his sword!!!
Sir-William: Falls off horse with laughter
Tenethia: What danger has befallen us, Guardsman?
Tenethia: *shakes you* speak, Sir!
Sir-William: I fell off my horse that's what
Sir-Edward: nothing
Tenethia: *glances around in concealed alarm*
Sir-William: I broke my pelvis
Sir-William: and other pelvis
Sir-William: But my third pelvis was only bruised
Tenethia: *releases the guard and draws back* you will remember next time, I hope, not to cause such alarm whilst you are on watch.
Ariel.of.Narnia: *sets about preparing healing balms and concoctions for the cowboy*
Sir-Edward: you said to scream for 15 seconds and you outrank me. guards aren't supposed to ask questions...
Ariel.of.Narnia: ... The guard speaks true, m'lord.
Tenethia: That was Lady Tenethia speaking and she wasn't serious! Are our voices quite so alike that you couldn't tell?
Swanwhite: *snerks*
Sir-William: You're on think ice now. pardner guard
Ariel.of.Narnia: I do believe our ailing cowboy wishes to share?
Sir-Edward: something is wrong with this cowboy...he has three pelvises!
Sir-William: everyone needs a spare...
Tenethia: Excuse me while I laugh. *turns aside and dies of laughter, in a completely out of character manner*
Sir-Edward: and yet you seem to have broken all of them....
Sir-William: *does not judge*
Sir-William: Desist, pardner
Inkling: How dreadful. All broken.
Sir-William: *turns aside and laughs* but only half out of character...
Tenethia:
Ahem *returns to be being solemn* You ought to have known those orders were not seriously meant. Furthermore, you ought not take what you think I say and disrespect me in the manner you just have by doing what you think I said to do when it was meant in jest.
Tenethia: Or something like that!
Sir-William: Lol
Sir-William: Imitates the great Lord with a lispe, "Or something like that that!"

Sir William Shares:

Sir-William: May I share now?
Tenethia: *is grateful for the distraction* yes, do.
Sir-William: thanks a heap, pardners, and in a good way *begins*
Sir-William: Jason Mallery Hilton, to call him by his full name was driving a car down a wide highway that was very flat and stretch on for miles in a straight line.
The grass on the side of the road was brown and dry and mirrored the almost desert like look on all sides of the road. But Jason could see signs of the life that lived in this place. The little animals that lived and even ate the tall grass of the land.
And although the insects that made their homes here were far to small for him to see from the car window, he had a mental image of what they looked like and where they would be. A shuddering of the car suddenly made him alert and he look around in several direction to see what might have cause this abrupt wind. And then he saw it.
From a dense bank of clouds up ahead a long spiral came forth from the clouds! A tornado! It was coming right at him, so he span the car around and throttled the car in the opposite direction. The road was so flat and straight that he could go as fast as he wanted without fear of wrecking, but this seemed to do little good, for the tornado kept coming closer and terrific speeds. He began to sweat profusely as he saw how close it was getting and began to consider going off road if the giant twister did not soon change course. His car was not exactly an offroad vehicle, but the terrain arround here was terrible.15 seconds later he decided that the tornado was not changing course and he turned the car off the road. He was jostled up and
down in his seat by the bumpy terrain, but the twister seemed to have a mind of its own and followed him withouth mercy! What could he do! It was almost on top of him! The roar of the tornado was incredibly loud and he knew that it would take a miracle to save him now. And then, it grabbed his little car and sucked it into the air. The roof came off and he was...wait, inside the tornado. That couldn't be right.
He was spinning around along with an assortment of the other objects within the heart of the tornado. Then all at once he was thrown clear of it and plummeted towards the ground!
Instinctively he closed his eyes and waited for the end. With a start he woke up and found that he was sitting up with his hands clenched into fists. What a relief! He took a full 30 seconds just to breath in and out and thoroughly calm down before getting up and beginning his daily routine.
Sir-William: Kind of stupid,yeh
Ariel.of.Narnia: No, no, good sir. 'twas a curious combination of detail and peril.
Sir-William: Next!
Tenethia: Nay, 'twas not stupid, William.
Sir-William: *shrugs* hope you pardners got something out of it..
Tenethia: I thoroughly enjoyed the terror he went through.
Sir-William: Anybody else want to share?
Tenethia: Though I must say I have no idea what a car is.
Sir-William: LOL
Tenethia: I do not know what you find so amusing about this.
Sir-Edward: nor I
Sofia Snow: it's a machine that's like a carriage..

Inkling Doesn't Share:
Inkling: I would share, but nobody would like it, I'm sure.
Ariel.of.Narnia: Nay, friend Wiggle! We should like to hear your tale.
Sofia Snow: well, you don't know that.. we might
Tenethia: For now, let us give ear to the tale the Marshwiggle brings.
Sir-William: Does the wiggle have something to share?
Sir-Edward: *nods to respectable marshwiggle*
Inkling: Oh, not I, said the Wiggle (gloomily)
Inkling: Nothing to share, I'm afraid.

Addendum to Ariel's Sharing:

Tenethia: Anyone else have something?
Ariel.of.Narnia: If I may, Lord Dar.
Ariel.of.Narnia: I just realized that I did not reveal the song that inspired my tale.
Tenethia: Ah, yes, please tell us.
Ariel.of.Narnia: 'twas "What Scars are For" by Mandisa; namely the chorus.
Tenethia: Madam, will you share a link with us?
Inkling: Must be a sad song, I hope.
Ariel.of.Narnia: "They remind me of Your faithfulness and all You've brought me through. They teach me that my brokenness is something You can use. They show me where I've been and that I'm not there anymore; that's what scars, that's what scars are for."
Ariel.of.Narnia: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Gvt__r9EU0 (Moderator side note: Youtube is not associated with TLC. Proceed at your own risk.)
Tenethia: thank you

Conclusion and Dismissal, including Writing Assignments:
Tenethia: Alright, if no one has anything else to share, I Have one more thing before we dismiss for this week.
Tenethia: Rather, two things.
Tenethia: First, I will be posting an edited log of this in the forum for those who care to find the comments they received again.
Tenethia: Second, as I have been giving out writing prompts each week, I have two now. If you write one this week, please bring it to share next week.
Tenethia: First, in the Horse and His Boy, Shasta met Corin in Tashbaan. What happened when Prince Corin was found instead of Shasta?
Tenethia: And the second is rather an exercise in description, though I hope you'll go somewhere from it and use a plot: You are now standing in a wood by a creek and near a waterfall. What do you see, feel, hear, think, smell, what do you do first?
Tenethia: I could simply ask his highness Prince Corin what happened, but I'd like to see your thoughts.
Tenethia: considering I'm Dar and I'm epic like that.
Tenethia: *pulls off her epic chain-like thing*
Tenethia: Thank you for coming everyone, and for all your participation
Sofia Snow: sure
Ariel.of.Narnia: *sheds her centaur costume* smiley-lol
Ariel.of.Narnia: woohoo!
Inkling: See you next week. Though I wager I'll be crushed by a boulder or drown. If I'm lucky...
Sir-Edward: *unguardifies*
Ariel.of.Narnia: *snickers at Inky's Marshwiggle*
Sir-William: Roars with laughter, but even more so than a cowboy should
Tenethia: *grins*
Inkling: *hugs and vanishes*
Tenethia: *waves at everyone*