Thanks to Nia for editing this log
General Nonsense ~
Sir-Edward: AH! Sorry I'm late! I was testing out physics modifiers!
gypsevedius: *wanders in*
Tenethia Brandybuck: Hey, Ed, you're not late
Tenethia Brandybuck: ARIEL is late
Ariel.of.Narnia:... Tenny, I've been here for 5 minutes
Tenethia Brandybuck: No you haven't.
Tenethia Brandybuck: *stubborn*
gypsevedius: o.o
Ariel.of.Narnia: @Tenny: but I'm right.
gypsevedius: *sits on bro*
Tenethia Brandybuck: *glances at clock*
cor: smiley-sad
Tenethia Brandybuck: Well, it is 5:37 Pacific time on a Saturday evening, which can only mean one thing
Tenethia Brandybuck: IT'S TIME FOR EVERYBODY TO HUGTACKLE COR
Tenethia Brandybuck: *HUGTACKLES COR*
Sir-Edward: MUAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!
Sir-William: *HUGTACKLES COR*
Ariel.of.Narnia: *pouncifies Cor and hugs*
Sir-William: *POUNCE HUGTACKLES A COR*
gypsevedius: *is already sitting on Cor, sooooo...*
cor: smiley-lol
gypsevedius: *HUGPUNCHES BROTHER!* YOU ARE AWESOME AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT! HERUMPH!
Sir-Edward: smiley-razz
cor: OOF OOF OOF OOF OOF
gypsevedius: You forgot an OUCH.
cor: OUCH.
gypsevedius: Yes, much better.
Sir-William: Lol
gypsevedius: Cor, I'm gonna PM you!
cor: Okay
gypsevedius: o.o
gypsevedius: Tenny says: "Tell everyone I'll be right in, and that they should, uh... talk amongst themselves."
gypsevedius: Aaaand Nia says hi to everybody!
Ariel.of.Narnia: Tell Tenny that Ariel was here exactly on time, and not in wizard-terms. Hmpf.
cor: smiley-lol
Tenethia Brandybuck: No
Sir-William: lol
gypsevedius: Tenny refused to let me tell her.
Sir-William: *waves at Arli*
Ariel.of.Narnia: Tenny didn't see me when I came in.
gypsevedius: I'll tell you waved when she gets back.
gypsevedius: Oh *twirls into the corner and hides under my cloak*
cor: You gonna PM me?
Writer's Group opens ~
Tenethia Brandybuck: This session of Writer's Group is now come to order!
Sir-Edward: Hear hear
cor: *flies to perch on wardrobe and watches from a distance*
Sir-William: *logs*
Tenethia Brandybuck: *hugs Cor*
gypsevedius: (PM, Cor)
Tenethia Brandybuck: I have been informed that Sir William has come with something to share. We shall begin with him today, and go in backwards alphabetical order until we get to Ariel.
Ariel.of.Narnia: smiley-lol
gypsevedius: *snickers*
Sir-William: Ok, right, so I guess I’ll share now
Sir-Edward: Save the best for last
gypsevedius: smiley-razz
cor: smiley-lo
Sir-William: Lol
Sir-William shares ~
Sir-William: The door burst open and King Edmund the Just stormed in breathing hard and more than a little out of character.
“You cannot do this, King Vendar!" He shouted towards the High King Peter whom sat elevated above his younger brother upon his royal throne.
"Well, it would seem that I have," the High King replied, waving off the accusation as if it was of no consequence.
"My scout witnessed with his own eyes Queen Phricithia being led to this very castle!" King Edmund retorted loudly, which was not at all like him.
"Then your scout is mistaken, " King Peter replied with a slight laugh. "The queen is not at this castle, and you are wasting your time."
King Edmund forced himself to take several long breaths in and out before continuing the heated debate.
"Then where is she?" He asked.
King Peter looked at his brother with a bored expression and waved his hand around him in several different directions. "She could be in Tanyer, Kevington, Bell ridge, or picking flowers next to a stream a mile from here, I don't know."
Tenethia Brandybuck: WHAT ON THE EARTH IS GOING ON HERE?
Tenethia Brandybuck: *settles down and watches with big eyes*
Ariel.of.Narnia: Shhhhh...
Sir-William: LOL
Sir-William: King Edmund put his face in his hands in frustration. "If there's one thing you're good at, King Vendar," he said at length, "It's your ability to drive a man right out of his mind."
King Peter gave a deep throated laugh like a bear, something that Edmund had never seen his brother do before.
"Well, yes, yes, anyway, " King Peter said finally getting serious. "I will send out all sorts of patrols scouring the entire countryside until she is found." He heaved himself out of his thrown and cleared the landing that his thrown and the other three thrones adjacent to it were mounted upon, landing not far from King Edmund. Putting a fur cloak shrouded arm around the younger king's shoulders, he began to lead him out of the great hall. "Let your mind be at ease, and leave all this in my capable hands," King Peter droned on in an unusual, gravely voice, much to the annoyance of Edmund. "Why I'll look under ever leaf and blade of grass until I find her."
"Once she tells you the location of the crystal tablets, I suppose," Kind Edmund protested, partially fighting King Peter's efforts to push him down the hallway.
“Tsk, tsk, accusations, accusations," King Peter replied making a hurt face. "I assure you..."
But before he could finish his sentence, the sound of clashing metal and shouting could be heard in a room adjacent to the great hall. Breaking free of King Peter's grasp, King Edmund dashed towards the room from whence the noise was emitting from, and burst through the door. The first sight he came upon was the queens Lucy and Susan, swords in hand and back to back, defending each other from three faun sentries. "Halt! Stop! Desist!" King Edmund cried, drawing his own sword and dashing the fauns' long reaching weapons aside with a few quick strokes. The fauns backed just out of reach of the king's threatening blade, but stayed poised for the attack.
“Very Clever, Cordover," King Peter's voice came from the direction of the open door.
Edmund turned towards Peter , but kept half an eye on the three fauns. "I knew I couldn't trust you, Vendar," he voiced angrily. "You've had her here all along."
The older king seemed not to hear him. "Distracting me with your talk so that your sister could search the castle," he said shaking his head. "I have to admit to being deeply impressed."
“Thank you," King Edmund replied bowing sarcastically. "Now, in the interest of preserving peace between our two kingdoms, I suggest you let the three of us go."
Peter sighed. "Oh well, if it must be, I suppose." He waved his right hand and stepped out from under the doorway. "Feel free to drop in any time."
“I'll do that," Edmund nodded with a twist of his lip. Then with out wasting anymore time, he headed out the door with Queen Lucy and Queen Susan in tow.
"Did he treat you well, Phricithia?" Edmund said turning to Queen Susan.
"No actually he threw her off a balcony, " Queen Lucy said trying to keep a straight face. Edmund couldn't help laughing but kept walking nonetheless. "And did you recieve any injuries from your lethal fall?" He said in mock seriousness. "
Susan sniffed and drew a handkerchief from the bright green dress she was wearing. "Alas, I died, Cordover." Edmund turned in the hallway to face his sister. "
"My heart is broken, Phricithia. How ever shall I live without you?"
“Just like you always do, "Peter called down the hallway after them.
And that was the spark that the four of them new was coming, for there comes a time when something is so funny that it is impossible to keep a straight face any longer and the four siblings erupted into laughter. When Edmund was once again able to speak, he called over to Peter, "Well done Pete, you were great."
"It was your little act that made it worth the two of us sitting in that dusty room for the whole first act, " Susan said still laughing.
"True, but don't ever use that voice again, Pete, It freaks me out," Edmund added still chuckling.
"Okay, okay," Peter said clapping his hands. "That was so much fun that I think we should do something else like it. What do you all say to that?"
"Oh yes, let's." Lucy nodded vigorously.
"Sounds good to me," concurred Edmund.
"I just hope I get to be the captive again," Susan agreed with a laugh.
"Granted," Peter said.
"Hey, you can't just say that." Lucy protested.
"Well I am, after all, the High King, " said Peter with a wink.
"But what if I want to be the prisoner?" Lucy pressed.
"Hey, anybody can be the prisoner," Edmund intervened. "But anyway," he added as an after thought, "you three come up with something, and I had better go and thank our three faun friends for volunteering to play along with all this."
While his siblings talked amongst themselves about the plot, settings, and characters of the next play, Edmund wandered over to the three faun sentries. "Thank you all very much for participating in our little act," Edmund said with smile. "You guys were great."
The three fauns bowed and one replied, "We were honored to be of assistance to your majesties
“You may all ask a favor if you wish," King Edmund added.
“Thank you your majesty," the same faun responded. "I believe I have chosen something."
"Name it," Edmund said with a wave of his hand.
The faun's face broke into a wide grin. " A role in the next act."
Edmund burst out laughing and slapped the faun on the shoulder. "You shall have it, Alten. And both of you too, if you wish it," he added.
"I shall," replied one of the two faun's but the other shook his head.
"Forgive me your majesty, but I have a matter elsewhere that I must attend to."
"By all means do so," Edmund responded, "But send another to replace you when you take your leave."
The faun bowed again and departed from the room. He made his way down the gorgeous corridors of Cair Paravel, his goat hooves clip-clopping on the stone floor beneath him. Spotting another Faun nearby, he waved him over. "Their majesties require your assistance, Glimhorn," he informed him. The other faun nodded and trotted off. He found their majesties in a state of argument over the play that they were trying to right on multiple parchments, but the presence of a waste basket filled half way with paper suggested that progress was not swift.
cor: *shifty eyes*
Sir-William: lol
Sir-William: "Wait, I think I've got it this time!" Edmund exclaimed. His three siblings stopped arguing and looked at him." Maybe we should stop trying to write a play with us playing different characters, but instead right a story where we are just us."
"But a different "us", right?" Lucy inquired.
"Yes, exactly," Edmund replied with a smile.
From that point on things went much more smoothly and at last a script was written. Edmund was voted the bad guy, and one of the faun's was rather surprised when he got picked as the Captain of the Guard who was aiding Edmund in his sinister plot. It also turned out that both Peter and Susan got to be the prisoner much to Lucy's chagrin. But after lines were rehearsed sufficiently, the play began. It was getting on into late afternoon, but all the shades in the room were closed and it was darker indoors. Lucy glided noiselessly over the glistening stone floor, her gown flowing softly behind her. She opened the door at the far end of the room slowly and breathed a sigh of relief when it didn't creak. The next door led to the great hall and from there-freedom. Oh to be free of it all at last. Free of her brother Edmund's insistence on having the throne. Free of the ever present danger that lingered in the castle. Maybe she could even get help and come back for her brother Peter and her sister Susan. She reached the door that led into the great hall and opened it slowly.
Tenethia Brandybuck: smiley-razz
Teethia Brandybuck: *FREAKING OUT*
Sir-William: "Why do you betray me, Lucy?" Lucy spun around in fright to find her brother Edmund standing next to a suit of armor he had obviously been hiding behind. "I thought that at least you might understand why I must be king."
For a moment Lucy just stood shocked by his sudden appearance, but then his words registered in her brain and her anger temporarily overcame her fright. "Understand?" she questioned rhetorically. "Understand why you couldn't be satisfied with the relationship we all had together?" she continued, strong emotion mixing into her voice. "We had it all, Edmund. We all lived in this castle together from the beginning. Don't you remember the long rides out into the countryside we had, or the beautiful sunsets we would enjoy together from the heights of the castle? The games we would play together and the jokes we would tell? And you would throw away all that just so you could say this castle, these lands, and all the people in it are yours?" She finished breathing hard.
gypsevedius: o.o
Tenethia Brandybuck: o.o
cor: smiley-lol
Sir-William: For a moment something seemed to stir in the king's face but then it was gone. "Only I am fit to govern this kingdom." He replied with no emotion in his face. I had hoped that you would rule by my side but I see now that you cannot be trusted any more than Peters and Susan. But do not fear, I shall treat you all well despite your treachery."
"Treachery?" Lucy proebsed, but the king was done talking and her attempts to resist him were futile. She soon found herself looking upon a familiar room. It was the room that Edmund had been keeping her brother Peter for 6 months and her sister Susan for a little over 2 months. The room was spacious and well furnished, and they were all well fed, but it was hard looking out the large window in the room and not be able to visit the green lawns far below.
"With the number of books I've read since I got here, I'm qualified to be a scholar," Peter joked from his favorite armchair nearby, or at least Susan had said that it was his favorite armchair. Lucy couldn't help but smile. Peter always did have a way of being optimistic in the toughest of circumstances. And he was also right, considering the number of books from the castle library that were stacked up next to him. "Well," Lucy thought to herself, "At least I have something to do while I'm stuck here."
“You shouldn't go into the castle without permission, Twigcreek," his mother Greenstem admonished him. "I'm sure that their majesties would not appreciate finding a squirrel hiding under one of their couches."
"Oh don't worry they won't find me, mom," Twigcreek chattered in reply. "But Budbloom and I did find out..."
“You mean to say that you were both..."
“Yes,yes, but you're missing the best part, mother," the little squirrel chattered on excitedly.
“Okay, what did you two see," the mother squirrel relented at last.
“King Edmund is trying to take over Narnia for himself by locking King Peter, Queen Lucy, and Queen Susan in a smelly old room in the castle." The mother squirrel was shocked to even hear such a outrageous statement, but the little squirrel had scampered away before she could say anything to him. And as is the way with squirrels, he told all his friends and neighbors of what he had seen, and they told their friends and neighbors who told theirs and so on until creatures from around the entire countryside had heard the tale.
Granted, some subtle details of the story differed from various versions of the story but they all agreed on the main facts. Generally the discrepancies in the story hinged around the level of comfort that the three royal persons in question were imprisoned in. Some said that it was a grand room like it really was while others said that it was a smelly place with little food and water delivered to the "poor three".
Tenethia Brandybuck: o.o
Tenethia Brandybuck: smiley-razz
Tenethia Brandybuck: Ohhhhh my word
cor: LOL
Sir-William: Still others said that it was a literal dungeon and that their majesties would surely starve soon if kept there much longer or die of sickness from the fungus on the stone they were sleeping on. In the most extreme cases...well you don't need to hear about that. We'll just be glad that those stories weren't real. In any case, as is the way of things, all who heard the story thought that it was surely insane, but of course an inquisitive few had to find out for themselves.
Susan was on page 79 of The Chronicles of Archenland when the door swung open and Edmund stepped in. Peter loudly slammed the book he had been reading and got up out of his chair. "Ed, will you please let me out of this box before I go batty?" "All the rulers and nobles will be here by next week to make my ascension to the throne official, and then at that time you are free to go."
Peter sank back into his chair with a groan and opened his book back up again.
"Oh, please do stop all this madness, Ed," Susan begged him earnestly. "We all still care about you very much."
Peter made a noise somewhere between a snort and a laugh and kept reading. Susan kicked him, but Edmund spoke up before anyone could say anything else. "I'm afraid that one of the nobleman would only consent to my crowning under one condition." He paused for a moment and Lucy could tell that what he was going to say was not good news. "I'm afraid that I've had to arrange for you to be married to him, Susan."
"You did what!" Susan exclaimed indignantly.
"But we still care about you very much," Peter added sarcastically from his armchair.
Tenethia Brandybuck: smiley-razz
Tenethia Brandybuck: Whoa
cor: smiley-lol
Tenethia Brandybuck: *snork*
Sir-William: Peter had to use his book as a temporary shield to block incoming projectiles until he could get behind his couch, and Edmund made a hasty retreat while still trying to convince Susan that the nobleman was a nice guy and that she would enjoy being married to him. "Jerk!" Susan shouted after him.
A council of mostly smaller creatures was taking place in the forest at that exact moment and new reports of King Edmund's treachery were constantly incoming.
cor: lol
Sir-William: A hedgehog leaped up on the tree trunk meeting table and raised his voice for all to hear. "If the King Edmund is not stopped he will rule as a tyrant over all of Narnia!" A chorus of "ayes" and a few "nays" we're heard, and a dog leaped up next to the hedgehog. "Friends, these four sons of Adam and daughters of Eve were appointed by Aslan himself and can surely be trusted."
cor: Yay hedgehog!
Sir-William: smiley-lol
Sir-William: "Are you not hearing the reports that this council is receiving?" The hedgehog retorted. "The King Edmund has fallen to greed and even is willing to marry his sister off to a nobleman just to achieve his selfish desire."
"What nobleman?" The dog argued. But he was drowned out by the others and soon news was sent to many creatures all over Narnia that a council of war was to be held.
When these rumors became large enough, some dwarves, fauns, dryads and even a few centaurs came to see what it was all about, but the centaurs insisted that if something so drastic had truly happened they would surely have seen signs of it in the stars. In the end, a good size group of woodland animals, two bears, and one dwarf who decided to come along more to keep things under control than because he actually believed in the rumor, were the only ones who banded together to go to Cair Paravel to confront King Edmund.
King Edmund sat beneath the shade of a tree near the castle. Somehow all the reasons he had thought up inside the castle on his throne and in the splendor of the great hall didn't seem to matter anymore when he sat under this tree. The blue sky above him had only two small clouds hanging in it. He remembered the many picnics he had had under this tree with his three siblings and wondered what sorcery had ever first started that argument in his mind of why he should be king.
What good did it do a person to own the whole world even? But no, he couldn't turn back now. He had already made all of the arrangements and it would be very hard to change his mind this far along in his plan. Besides, Susan would probably enjoy her new life once she got used to it, and Peter and Lucy would live happily together in a beautiful cottage that he had made specially for them.
However, getting Susan to even leave the room was difficult when she was told that she was to be transported to the Nobleman's castle in preparation for the wedding. Edmund had to ask his Captain of the guard (the faun) and two other fauns (the two other fauns) to chain Susan up and carry her struggling out the door. Peter and Lucy were allowed to come with her to the carriage to see her off, but a close eye was kept on them at all times.
The drawbridge was open and a carriage sat in readiness nearby. They had nearly reached it when a storm of creatures poured out of the nearby woods and surrounded them brandishing makeshift weapons, claws, teeth, or hooves. None of the ambushed group felt endangered by this show of arms, but they were rather startled by the woodland creatures' sudden appearance.
The group, which had been zealous about their mission in the first place, now we're many times more determined to stop Edmund's rise to power when they saw the Queen Susan so mistreated. Even the Dwarf in the group started feeling that there might be something to this rumor.
"Release the Queen Susan and surrender!" The hedgehog that had been spokesman at the earlier meeting roared in the toughest sounding and non-squeaky voice that he could manage. It was neither very tough and it did squeak a lot, but the determination behind it convinced everyone that he was in earnest, and they all dropped their weapons.
"Now release the Queen Susan," the Hedgehog repeated seriously. Edmund fumbled in his tunic pocket for his key and quickly freed Susan. As soon as she was free, the dwarf pulled her into the safety of the group, and handed Peter and Lucy the previously dropped weapons.
"Well," said Edmund, "this has turned out to be a fun day, but somebody’s got to start explaining. You wanna go first, Pete?"
Sir-William: The End
Tenethia Brandybuck: Haha
cor: lol
Sir-William: lol
Tenethia Brandybuck: XD
Tenethia Brandybuck: That is awesome, Will
cor: That was the best!!!!!!
cor: XD
Sir-William: Thanks
Tenethia Brandybuck: Woooooooooooooooooow
Tenethia Brandybuck: smiley-razz
gypsevedius: o.o That was coolsville!
Sir-William: lol Thanks again *bows*
Tenethia Brandybuck: How did you combine humor and suspense so well?
cor: *claps*
Lil: ?
Ariel.of.Narnia: I liked the first bit more, but the fact that people took their play-acting seriously in part two was a big oopsie on their part.
Sir-William: lol
Tenethia Brandybuck: smiley-razz
Sir-William: Yeah
Tenethia Brandybuck: XD
Tenethia Brandybuck: Were you looking for any particular sort of comments, Will?
Tenethia Brandybuck: Something you were wondering about or anything?
Sir-William: I'm sure that you could tell me how to grammatically write some parts of it better, but the story is so humorously unique that it might be hard for you to suggest a change
Sir-William: But you can try
Sir-William: I envisioned it this way, I guess
Tenethia Brandybuck: The only thing that really jumped in technical stuff was that you once called Peter "Peters" and another time you spelled thrones "throwns" but other than that, the technical things were good
Sir-William: smiley
Tenethia Brandybuck: It was a hilarious story, Will, and I liked how we knew what was happening and the characters didn't. The beginning was really great.
Tenethia Brandybck: I do think that perrrrhaaaaps they'd have less serious moments that the animals didn't see, where they weren't taking their playacting so seriously.
Ariel.of.Narnia: I really, really, really liked the first "act" of this story, but felt that it slowed way down after that.
Ariel.of.Narnia: Not that act two was bad or anything. it just didn't have the same momentum as the first
Sir-William: I have to tell you that I don't think that such a thing could really happen
cor: I remember some spelling problems other than the one's Tenny said but I don't remember where
Sir-William: I just made it happen anyway
Tenethia Brandybuck: Ariel, how would you recommend he improve the "momentum"?
Sir-William: Yes, I am curious
Lil: *wonders if Sir William could send said story to me to read?*
Sir-William: If you are ammused you may laugh and if you enjoy it you may buy the album
Sir-William: Oh high, Lil, I will send it to you, but don't blame me if you think it is a little weird
Sir-William: Ariel here is trying to hide her deep-rooted hatred for my story that I spent hours typing smiley-razz
Ariel.of.Narnia: Well, Will, you did up the ante some with the animals' reaction. one thing that could help is to make it clear that those parts are not part of the "script" (I couldn't tell at first). Another is to maybe shorten it some after Lu's been captured
Ariel.of.Narnia: @Will: what are you talking about? I don't hate it.
Sir-William: lol
Sir-William: smiley
Sir-William: *reads*
Tenethia Brandybuck: *WHACKS WILLIAM*
Tenethia Brandybuck: There are two rules here.
Sir-William: Haha
Tenethia Brandybuck: One, you have to follow the rules of content that are on the forum.
Lil: (nothing could be weirder than practicing making applesauce on King Peter's skull)
Tenethia Brandybuck: Two, you are NOT allowed to put yourself down or anything you do. And if you do it again, I will ... I don't know what I'll do but I'll probably regret it later!
Tenethia Brandybuck: Understood? No trash-talking yourself. Let others do that.
Sir-William: *becomes silent lest self should offend the great Tenny further *
Ariel.of.Narnia: The interlude between the two acts was a little too cluttered, as if you were trying to drag out the funny (though I know you were probably just setting up for part two)
cor: Only I can trash-talk myself
Ariel.of.Narnia: (@Tenny: Rule Three: Nobody trash-talks anybody.)
Sir-William: Well I'll try to re-read the story from your point of view, Ariel, and see if I can envision your meaning
cor: Because I'm an expert at trash talking myself
Ariel.of.Narnia: smiley
Lil: (Ariel, hear hear.)
gypsevedius: smiley-razz @Cor
Ariel.of.Narnia: @(Cor: me to)
Tenethia Brandybuck: Oh yeah, three rules.
Tenethia Brandybuck: Cor, you're not allowed either. *stern look*
Sir-William: Better listen to her, Cor
Ariel.of.Narnia: @Will: if you would like any further help, you know how to reach me. Overall, though, I did like it.
cor: o.o
Lil: *wants to read Sir Will's story!*
Sir-William: Thank you, Ariel. I'll have to re-read it though before I can be certain that I agree with you
Tenethia Brandybuck: *grins*
Sir-William: But you are the superior writer so I'm sure you are mostly right
Sir-William: Anyway, onward!
Sir-William: *goes to try and satisfy a Lil's craving*
Lil: Yay!
Lil: *happyhappyhappy*
Tenethia Brandybuck:... *gives William a warning look*
Tenethia Brandybuck: Let's see... Edward, I believe you are next in backwards alphabetical order?
Sir-William: I sent it to you via of email, Lil
Sir-Edward: I sadly am still working on stuff and as of yet have nothing
Sir-William: Ed and I argued for an hour by the maple tree outside on something that he could write
Lil: I'm am sure it will be good when you do!
Lil: smiley
Tenethia Brandybuck: Ok
Lil: *is jut as sure that Sir William's will be good*
Tenethia Brandybuck: Lil, dost thou have aught to share?
Sir-William: We tried everything from digging from Michigan to the Anduin River, to digging up alien treasure on a post-apocalyptic world. We never found anything he liked, lol.
Sir-William: But maybe next time. You Lil?
Lil: Well, I have that really long chapter I shared the other day
Lil: @Tenny
Tenethia Brandybuck: Share away, Madam!
Lil: But I don't want to take the place of anyone else who more urgently wishes to share
Tenethia Brandybuck: Miss Lil, we are going in backwards alphabetical order.
Tenethia Brandybuck: You are next.
Tenethia Brandybuck: smiley-wink
Lil: OK
Tenethia Brandybuck: It's only me and Ariel after you
Tenethia Brandybuck: And I don't have anything
Lil: *clears throat to read in most royal of voices*
Lil shares ~
Lil: Lucy blinked, and looked around. It was dark in the tent except for the red coals in brazier to keep the tent warm, but she could see a gentle cool light shinning outside. She smiled, snuggling into her covers for a moment, before sighing to herself and slipping out from under the furs and blankets covering her. Shivering in the cold air, she quickly dressed and stepped out into the new day.
Sighing happily, she watched her breath dance in the wind before vanishing. It was early yet, her brothers would still be abed. Glancing about she noticed the guards at their posts, and made her way to her brothers tent.
“Peter?” she called tentatively.
There was a groan and some muttering that sounded like “yesh Lusy.” But was probably something more like “yes, Lucy.”
Entering his brothers tent, she found her assumptions correct. Peter, plainly still half asleep, was rolled over to face her.
“Peter, have you seen the outside? There’s fresh snow on the ground and it’s just glorious!”
“Hmm?” replied the sleep-fogged high king, with a look that clearly said, “No. Why would I? I was sleeping till you woke me up.”
Giggling, Lucy tried again. “Oh Peter, it’s snowing. Oh do come look! We could have a snowball fight like we used to when we were younger.”
“Will you all quiet down and put out the light?” growled a sleepy voice from the farther corner of the tent. “Go back to bed.”
“It’s the Sun, Ed,” replied Lucy with a smile. “It’s almost dawn.”
Peter, by this time, had given up all hope of staying in his warm bed and returning to sleep. “Alright Lu,” he mumbled yawning, “I’m up. Just give me a moment to get dressed.”
Smiling Lucy skipped out of out the tent. Rolling over, Peter attempted to try to get back to sleep, but by now the camp noises were drifting towards them. With another groan,he pulled himself out of his warm covers. The cold hit him like a shock and he hurriedly slipped into his warm winter clothing and put on his cloak.
Stepping outside the tent, he took a moment to gather his wits. It was a moment too long as a snowball came whizzing straight towards the sleep-drugged king. He shook himself, the chill of it going a great deal towards waking him up. “Lu!” He could hear laughter coming from behind one of the tents. Reaching down, he quickly gathered together a small snowball. Ducking another, he chucked his from where the laughter had come from. There was a small squeak of surprise, as a third snowball came hurting his way. But the High King was ready this time, with snowball in hand, throwing it with all his might.
Only to late did his realize one of the female centaur cooks making her way across the across the camp. Startled, she brushed the snow out her face and looked around confusedly.
“My appologies, Fidelia,” Peter called, stepping rather red-faced from his hiding spot. “Queen Lucy was...” here he coughed, searching for words. “Trying to help me wake up and I was caught up in the moment. I should have thought before acting, and I apologize.
If she had been startled before, seeing the high king apologize as perpetrator must have surprised her even more. Bursting into merry laughter, she replied, “Tis alright, King Peter. Sometimes we all need a little help waking so early in the morn,” before continuing on her way chuckling.
Face hot from shame, he turned to tell Lucy that, that was enough, just in time to see Edmund set out of the tent a snowball heading for where Peter had been standing.
“Ed! Look out!” he shouted, but to late. The snow hit brother soundly, crumbling down onto his scarf.
Laughing he watched as with a growl Edmund began chasing his Sister, towards the breakfasting corner of the camp.
Lil: (pause for comments)
Tenethia Brandybuck: *having already given some comments, glances towards William and Edward, specifically*
Ariel.of.Narnia: You've had all of mine.
Lil: Shall always be glad to hear comments from Sir Knights
Sir-William: Well I for one loved the incident with the centaur
cor: I'm gonna head out
Sir-William: I also hope to stay as young and enthusiastic as the Lucy in your story all my life
Tenethia Brandybuck: smiley-razz
Sir-William: Bye Cor! *waves*
Tenethia Brandybuck: *waves after Cor and hugs!*
Lil: *grins*
gypsevedius: O.O Bye, Bro!
Sir-William: *pats Gypse on the head*
gypsevedius: smiley-lol
Sir-William: lol
Lil: I don't know how pressed for time anyone is. There's more to share if there's time
cor: Bye!
cor: Sorry
Tenethia Brandybuck: Go ahead, Lil
cor: *hugs all and flies out*
Sir-William: Hey I've always got time (not really but in this case I do)
Ariel.of.Narnia: I'm in no rush
Lil: Well the if there are no more comments I will proceed
Lil: Peter stared at the map a moment thoughtfully. “The dark woods are here. With the mountain range behind them.” he said? jabbing his finger at the map, “So we will want to head here.” He motioned, gestured to another spot on the map not too far away. "e’ll take the woods by foot.”
Sir-William: Do it with the enthusiasm of Lucy the Valiant in your heart, Lil *draws sword*
Lil: *Curtseys to Sir William* Thank you, Good Sir Knight I shall
Lil: “Your Majesty, you’re needed at once,” called a frenzied faun, from the doorway of the tent.
As they came to the place, they came upon two dwarves fighting and a small group of solders had gathered as onlookers. The dwarves who had started merely arguing and pushing it each other back and forth and had taken to drawing their short knives and fighting each other.
Giving a signal to one of the soldier and the dwarves were restrained. “Now my good dwarves, would one of you be so good as to tell me what is the meaning of this?” the High King asked looking one then the other.
“It’s those wretched black dwarves, Sire!”
“Why you dirty, mud dwelling-”
“ENOUGH!” King Peter roared. “You are not children, but skilled fighters and metalsmiths! If we had knowledge you were to act as young recruits, you should have been left in Narnia to tend your smithies and homes.
“Please good dwarves, start again. Tell us your tale.” At the sight, of the Queen Lucy, and King Edmund at King Peter’s side, both dwarves softened looking at the ground.
“Well your majesty…. I uh…. I can’t recall… how we started…”
“You insulted my clain!”
“Because you had insulted us, Red Dwarfs!” "You said our workmanship was shoddy at best!"
“Peace, Cousins.” King Edmund spoke for the first time. Turning to the first dwarf, “Tell us your tale first.” Thinking for a moment, the black dwarf replied. “Well… I don’t know, Your Majesty…. something just came over us and well… we suddenly… well…
Thinking for a moment, the black dwarf replied. “Well… I don’t know, Your Majesty…. something just came over us and well… we suddenly… well…”
“Yes?” prompted Lucy.
“Well… we started to insult each other.”
There was a collective sigh among the monarchs.
“Bramblethorn… your people repaired my armor when I fell. We came to your people for our weaponry for our good army which stands ‘round you today.” Resting his hand, on his vambrace, he turned to look at the red dwarf. “And you replaced my vambraces sacrificing from your armor and supplies. And it was to your people, to your clan, the royal commission came last year for armor for the soldiers. Both your people have been honored, by Narnia and her people. We must all band together if we are to rescue Queen Susan. The wizard of these lands is crafty. He sets the earth against us, he will try to set us against each other. We must not let him succeed!”
Both dwarves nodded, suitably ashamed, and muttered apologies to their majesties and each other.
“Sergeant, alert the general to break camp. We move out.” The High King commanded
It was the sort of winter day that you would hope. The best sort of day where the is crisp and cool , with hardly a breeze and no snow in sight. The a perfect for making snowmen or for having a snowball fight or for taking a walk. It was the sort of day that makes you glad to be alive.
There is indeed to little to say about their journey that day or the next or several (a good many that followed ?) for what this there to say of long miles in the saddle under a grey winter's sky when everything is covered in white and looks and looks not much different.
It was however that that very day (week?), though they were unaware of it, that the fine weather they had been enjoying was about to change. It started about 3 in the afternoon, with the first few flakes of snow floating though there air which began to soon settle on everyone and melt just as quickly as they had fallen. (This provided a feel of cool and unpleasant dampness) And still they carried on. The further they went the thicker the flakes fell, till finally it began to be hard to see and too hard and hard for the smaller animals to walk
With a shiver, the High King dismounted from his horse. His leg sunk into a knee-high snowdrift as he slid off of his horse.
His brother Edmund rode up beside him, "Peter! What are you doing?" he asked, having to shout over the roar of the wind.
The High King shot back, "Have those who are smaller and having difficulty mount up. We'll tie a rope to ourselves and the horses to keep us from getting separated. The rest of the army can to likewise.... Lu!" He shouted again. Having seen her disappear from the crowd and not having seen her dismount
Soon he saw her; red faced and head bowed down against the wind and snow, leading her horse over with a load of smaller Narnian creatures in the saddle. She must have seen me dismount and though the same thing, Peter thought
Handing the reigns up to Edmund, the young Queen made her way to her elder brother's side. Looking down at her, he saw her face held a sad miserable look, but he said nothing. Than quietly she said, "I'm cold."
As Peter put his arms around his little sister, he heard the shout of a dwarf.
“Yer Majesty,” the dwarf shouted up at him above the wind. “This here’s a blizzard comin’ in and a mighty fierce one too. We must stop!”
“Hadn’t we better press on in hope of finding some better shelter?” the king hollered back.
“With the greatest respect, NO! Snow caves, Yer Majesty, Snow Caves!”
Lil: *pauses*
Lil: So I'm not really sure how to end the chapter
Lil: If it should end here
Ariel.of.Narnia: At the very least, a cliff hanger would be good.
Lil: Or if I should end it here
Lil: A dark form galloped up to him in the wind and already swiftly falling snow.
“Oreius, tell the knights to make sure make sure every gets there safely.”
“King Peter, come. Quickly up on my back!”
"we must get the others their safely first."
“But Your Majesty-
“Oreius, tell the knights to make sure every gets there safely. “
“If that is your wish, Your Majesty. I will stay by you.”
Lil: *has researched snow caves, but I'm not sure how to put it into writing*
Ariel.of.Narnia: Does Oreius know where "there" is? he was some distance behind, yes?
Sir-William: Wow, a Lil is getting technical *thinks*
Lil: I mean I don't honestly know what else to do with it.
Lil: I mean cause there's all that stuff about how you're supposed to dig down so far and then you dig up (I think?) for the place to lie so that's it's (higher? I think) than the entrance/exit
Ariel.of.Narnia: Ooh
Tenethia Brandybuck: brb
Lil: Not really sure how to end it
Lil: Or keep up the tension
Ariel.of.Narnia: You could create a false cliffy by just ending it at the dark form that gallops up. Then begin the next chapter with Oreius and Peter
Ariel.of.Narnia: If Hardy Boys is allowed to pull stunts like that, I don't see why you can't.
Tenethia Brandybuck: smiley-razz
Lil: Haha
Lil: (just bought while the clock ticked a week or so ago.)
Tenethia Brandybuck: Ooh
Tenethia Brandybuck: Any other comments for Lil?
Sir-William :Hmmm....
Ariel.of.Narnia: (Hardy Boys are funfun ) Er, comments... ooh, I liked the dwarfs fighting. That wasn't there when I read it before.
Sir-William: Yeah the Hardy boys are so related to Narnia, heh.
Tenethia Brandybuck: smiley-razz
Ariel.of.Narnia: smiley-raz
gypsevedius: smiley-razz
Lil: *would welcome any comments from Sir knights*
Lil: (or anybody)
Sir-William: Was River Heights moved recently?
Sir-William: Oh, right, sorry Lil *thinks*
Lil: @Ariel, no it wasn't because I couldn't find that part at the time.
gypsevedius: Heading out now! Bye! *hugs Lil and wanders off*
Lil: *hugs Gypsy*
Tenethia Brandybuck: smiley-razz
Sir-William: Well as for the snow caves, as long you have enough snow, I would think that you would just shovel or push the snow into mounds and then burrow into them until you are out of the storm.
Sir-William: Bye Gypse!
Tenethia Brandybuck: That's Nancy Drew, Will
Sir-William: I knew something was wrong with that!!!
Sir-William: LOL
Lil: (they're all the same)
Sir-William: Nancy Drew, whoops
Sir-William: There's that
Tenethia Brandybuck: smiley-razz
Sir-William: And cliff hangars are good just as long as they are not an interruption but instead a suspenseful ending
Tenethia Brandybuck: *gives everybody a thirty second warning before we move on to the next person8
Sir-William: I guess that's all
Tenethia Brandybuck: *nods*
Lil: So like
Tenethia Brandybuck: Do you have anything to share, Ariel?
Lil: *um I do have one last question?*
Ariel.of.Narnia: Go ahead, Lil
Tenethia Brandybuck: Sure
Lil: Thanks
Lil: So "“With the greatest respect, NO! Snow caves, Yer Majesty, Snow Caves!”
Lil: Would that be a good cliffee?
Lil: Or is it too lame?
Ariel.of.Narnia: Maybe if you ended at "NO!"
Ariel.of.Narnia: And saved the snow caves for the next chapter
Tenethia Brandybuck: (I have to go for dinner. Ariel is in charge)
Sir-William: *waves an hugs* bye!
Ariel.of.Narnia: What with the unruly dwarfs earlier in the chapter, this could make readers go, "oh no, what's he doing?!" at the very least?
Ariel.of.Narnia: What do you think, Will and Ed?
Sir-William: Well...
Sir-William: I just think it's a tiny bit too abrupt, but something as simple as the sentence restructure that you mentioned could fix that
Sir-William: Having the "NO" at the end might be better or something
Lil: Just "NO!" ?
Sir-William: Just so it's less of a sudden interruption and more of a suspenseful conclusion
Sir-William: Hmm...
Lil: Suspense is what I want
Lil: (though anybody that's been following this story has been in enough suspense)
Ariel.of.Narnia: lol
Ariel.of.Narnia: More won't kill.
Sir-William: Lol, true. *turns pleadingly to Ariel to give the yay or nay*
Ariel.of.Narnia: What? ending the chapter with "NO!"? yeah, I'd go for it.
Lil: *hands floor to Ariel*
Lil: Hmmm
Lil: Thanks guys
Lil: This is really helpful
Ariel.of.Narnia: smiley
Ariel.of.Narnia: You're welcome.
Ariel.of.Narnia: I didn't write anything new this week, so the most I've got is a slightly-edited story from last week
Ariel.of.Narnia: If anyone wants to see it
Sir-William: Hey edited is always better than rough-draft
Ariel.of.Narnia: Haha, okay
Ariel.of.Narnia: (Lil, please let me know if I still need to address stuff.)
Ariel.of.Narnia shares ~
Ariel.of.Narnia: It was her birthday the day before I was deployed. As far as we knew, the last we’d celebrate together. Home wasn’t in any danger of becoming a war zone, so I knew she’d be safe; but we both knew that the chances of my returning were slim. So we went all-out, just the two of us. She wore her red dress while I dressed up in my signature grey. We put together a picnic basket, complete with a raspberry jelly roll, and I bought balloons. Lots of balloons, all in her favourite colour. She had an inexplicable delight in those things. And so we headed to our special spot by the lake decorated it with dozens of balloons. I know it doesn’t sound like much, but we wouldn’t have that day cluttered with anything else.
We strolled beside the reeds, raced over the bridge, even splashed in the lake. We talked while the sun set behind the distant downtown skyscrapers, then snuggled together under the picnic blanket to sink into silence as the stars came out. I wondered if I’d hear this silence again while I was away, this calm before the storm. I considered the likelihood of my seeing two missiles headed toward each other, just as two stars were doing just then. I even feared the effects of a cloud more terrible than the wispy one to the south, one that could obliterate downtown in a flash of red and a plume of grey smoke while its shock leveled the rest of the city…. These thoughts I kept to myself, but it seemed I needn’t have worried, for she had dozed off in my arms. I’d give anything to have that moment again.
I allowed my mind to wander till dawn crept upon us and she awoke. We did not exchange words. We just knew: our time was nearly at its end. As the sky turned from grey to red, we released the balloons, one by one like prayers sent Heaven-ward, watching till they disappeared. My gaze was still to the clear sky when she pressed something into my hand: a single balloon, saved, apparently, for this moment.
It is that same balloon that I keep in my breast pocket. Through the skies, over waters, under fire, I have carried it close to my heart. It reminded me of what I was fighting for, gave me hope of returning to her after this sordid war.
But I never came home.
The quiet is killing me. The war’s destruction lies all around me: I stand in the midst of dust and rubble. Those who have not succumbed to their wounds may yet succumb to their shell-shocked minds. Whatever city was here, it’s long gone. As it is, what used to be parks are now cemeteries; rubble has been repurposed as grave markers. One such park in this unfamiliar city has what must have once been a beautiful lake. It’s a little secluded, tucked away from everything. I am glad to be alone here with my memories. Memories of her and the time we had together. Her red dress and her auburn tresses. Her beautiful eyes and her sweet smile. And the ninety-nine balloons we released the morning I left.
This war is the reason I can never be home.
Supporting myself against my latest tombstone, I remove the little red balloon from my pocket. I inflate it. Close my eyes. Take a deep breath. And release it. Just before it disappears into the grey haze that is sky, I bid her farewell and leave her grave behind.
Ariel.of.Narnia: The end
Sir-William: *sniffs back tears*
Sir-William: Wow that's sad but I still like it *sniff*
Ariel.of.Narnia: smiley-lol
Sir-William: smiley-lol
Sir-William: Quick question, Ariel
Ariel.of.Narnia: Mm-hm?
Sir-William: Is this just a general story, or is it based in any way on something historical?
Ariel.of.Narnia: Depends on what you mean by "something historical".
Ariel.of.Narnia: It's inspired by "99 Red Balloons", the English version of a '70s German song "99 Luftbalons"
Ariel.of.Narnia: Besides that, no, not based on anything
Sir-William: Oh, that one, ok
Sir-William: Nice
Ariel.of.Narnia: Is this something that should be made clearer?
Ariel.of.Narnia: Within the story, I mean?
Sir-William: Well if it's not based on a historical war then I think it can remain quite general.
Sir-William: The title might include that or something
Ariel.of.Narnia: If you have any title ideas, I'd be happy to hear them. it's currently under "The Hundredth Balloon", but I'm not a fan...
Lil: Heart wrenching isn't it
Ariel.of.Narnia: smiley-lol
Ariel.of.Narnia: Anything you want to mention, Lil?
Lil: Only it broke my heart
Lil: It's so heart-wrenching
Tenethia Brandybuck: *pokes Ariel to gMail urgently*
Tenethia Brandybuck: Hang on, lemme read up
Sir-William: Can stay only 12 minutes longer
Ariel.of.Narnia: @Lil: good to know your reaction is still the same. Did I address everything that I had needed to last week?
Tenethia Brandybuck: Awww, Ariel! How did she die?
Sir-William: I was wondering that too, actually?
Tenethia Brandybuck: I'll PM it to you
Ariel.of.Narnia: @Tenny and Will: I assume she died when a bomb went off and leveled her city.
Ariel.of.Narnia: @Will: Yeah, yeah, I see where that's going.
Ariel.of.Narnia: Anything else for me before I try to edit this puppy some more?
Sir-William: Just what Tenny already asked is all
Ariel.of.Narnia: Okay.
Ariel.of.Narnia: Thanks muchly
Tenethia Brandybuck: Ariel, just remember that his breath won't make the balloon go up.
Ariel.of.Narnia: Tenny: yeah... about that... any ideas for flawlessly incorporating a canister of helium into the story?
Sir-William: lol, that's one way of looking at it.
Ariel.of.Narnia: I know he has it but obviously I don't mention it anywhere...
Sir-William: Dratted science
Tenethia Brandybuck: lol
Ariel.of.Narnia: @Will: lol, right? Gets in the way of all the fun stuff
Tenethia Brandybuck: Maybe he just pushes it off into the smoke around him and turns away?
Ariel.of.Narnia: Hmm...
Tenethia Brandybuck: Or doesn't tie the end and let's it "PHBBBBBBBBBT" away into the smoke
Tenethia Brandybuck: which would be a funny ending, so don't use it
Ariel.of.Narnia: *snorks* yeah, I think no
Ariel.of.Narnia: I'll think about it some more.
Sir-William: Lol
Sir-William: The thought of it just makes me go all goofy inside
Ariel.of.Narnia: Yeah, same here. Sound effects and everything.
Tenethia Brandybuck: smiley-razz
Tenethia Brandybuck: *giggles*
Tenethia Brandybuck: Sounds good
Tenethia Brandybuck: Anybody else have something to share?
Sir-William: Got to go *hugs all*
Ariel.of.Narnia: Bye, Will!
Ariel.of.Narnia: I've got nothing else, Tenny
Tenethia Brandybuck: Ok
Sir-William: *POOFS
Tenethia Brandybuck: I'll have a story to share next week; just didn't have time to write today
Tenethia Brandybuck: Alright then
Tenethia Brandybuck: Writer's Group is CLOSED
Writer's Group closed ~
