Sept 12, '15 Writers' Log

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Sept 12, '15 Writers' Log

Post by Ariel.of.Narnia » Wed Sep 23, 2015 3:13 am

Writer's Group opens ~

Ariel.of.Narnia: Writers' Group is officially beginning
Sir-Edward: Hear, hear!
SehsisResdreamer: Ok :3
Ariel.of.Narnia: Have you got anything Ed?
Sir-Edward: Zip, sorry
Ariel.of.Narnia: Okay, just me then
Ariel.of.Narnia: So this story's not done yet, but I'm at a roadblock and figured I'd share what I have so far
Ariel.of.Narnia: If either of you have any input of any kind, please load it on!
Sir-Edward: Shoot

Ariel.of.Narnia shares ~

Ariel.of.Narnia: The north wind blew hollowly in the boughs. Few leaves were left to fall to the earth, but they held stubbornly as though they could somehow slow winter’s advance. The brown-and-yellow carpet underfoot was wet with the downpours of the past week, making tracks easier to follow, but just as easily washing away track and scent alike. As for keeping dry and warm, the task was found impossible.
In short, it had been a very long fortnight.
“If we continue, we may overtake them.” Edmund swept his hand along the markings on the map. “What if we stopped tracking them and simply tried to head them off, perhaps by Forge Mountain?” His finger rested on the northwestern-most point of Narnia.
Peter crossed his arms, both to try to ward off a gust of cold and to create a stance of disagreement. “I’d hate to turn back without routing them, but we really have pushed our luck with the weather and our squads are exhausted.” He cast a furtive glance at Oreius before directing a pointed look at the dark circles under Edmund’s eyes, the result of multiple cold and fitful nights.
Edmund crossed his arms as well. “Even if the snow falls, we might manage a couple more days.” He also looked to the Centaur for approval.
“Except that we would have the same trouble with tracking,” Peter said, “if it snows the way it rained. They seem to be one, if not two, steps ahead of us this time.”
“Weather is unpredictable,” Oreius reminded them, “and winter always strikes the northwest hardest.”
“But last time we let the Fell regroup, they killed scores of our people before we could stop them,” Edmund argued.
Peter’s blood ran cold. Though Edmund had not said it, he knew all three of them were thinking about Dancing Lawn on Midsummer’s Eve. The dreadful night they’d nearly lost Lucy and Mr. Tumnus. Approaching footsteps and the opening of the tent flap mercifully interrupted his train of thought.
A Red Dwarf entered and his beard nearly touched the ground when he bowed. “Your majesties.”
“What news, Orpick?”
Orpick blew on his hands and rubbed them. “Well, sire, I found a Hag and an Ogre, see, and followed them into the foothills… here.” He passed in front of the towering Centaur to point to a spot on the map almost in the northern mountain range. As Orpick could not reach the little markers for the purpose, Edmund obliged him. “Giants, your majesties. The Thunderfoot clan, I think they said, all twenty of them, on our side of the mountains.”
Peter bit his lip. So much for a brief encounter. A great rush of wings gave him warning of another arrival. A great Falcon hopped into the tent and stood beside Oreius. “Your majesties, general.” He bobbed his head first at the boys, then at Oreius.
“Ho, Thornclaw,” Edmund greeted him.
“My kings, the Woodland Watch tells me of the rumbling of an army to the west. As we speak, no less than a thousand warriors prepare to enter Narnia in the morning.”
“Army?” Peter and Edmund asked sharply.
The Falcon bobbed his head. “Yes, majesties. The Watch said that Fell have been passing that way, perhaps to strike an alliance with the humans.”
“What humans?” Edmund asked.
“Before the reign of the Witch,” Oreius explained, “a people called the Telmarines dwelt west of our borders. If they have remained, then it must be these same that march against us, though why they would attack on the eve of winter….”
/They intend to cripple us before winter, at the very least./ Peter felt sick. He tried to keep his fear from his face, if only for Edmund’s sake…. /Or maybe I’m just afraid to show him./ When he felt he could speak without his voice wavering, he said, “We have to fall back to Cair Paravel.”
“But if they attack,” Edmund argued, “and we’re not there to meet them, who knows what and how much they’ll do.”
“We are prepared only for a handful of the Witch’s following, not for an army!”
Edmund gestured with his arms. “So we let the western people suffer? What about ‘first in the charge and last in the retreat’?”
/Not when the charge is ill-prepared./ Peter leaned over the map to emphasize his words. “We’d need an army of our own and we’d be hard-pressed to gather enough men in time, especially in this part of Narnia.” Edmund pressed his lips tight together and crossed his arms, but he cast his eyes down at the map. /At least he understands that./
Thornclaw and Orpick both shifted. “We’d fight tooth and nail, High King,” the Falcon said in a humble tone.
“Make ‘em bleed while we can,” Orpick added gruffly.
Oreius stood stock-still and betrayed nothing.
Peter straightened himself and forced his taut muscles to relax. “I know you would, but we can’t –”
“Your majesties!” a voice barked as its young Foxhound owner bounded into the tent, tail wagging wildly. “I found them, found-found the Fell! There’s a whole lot of them in the ravine we camped by yesterday!” He sat down with a definitive whump and beamed a proud, open-mouthed smile. Then, as an afterthought, he shook fresh rain from his head.
In an effort to hold back – or even hide – the panic rising within, Peter closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. /We’re surrounded in an indefensible position./ As if to seal it off, Oreius set a marker on the ravine. /Trapped in this valley without options./ He heard Edmund exhale slowly, raggedly, so he looked up. His arms were crossed tighter than before and his face a little paler, but his expression was grim. /I can’t let that happen. I promised Mum./ But even the pitter-patter of rain on the tent roof seemed to say that his promise was impossible to keep.
From the corner of his eye, Peter saw the Foxhound cocking his head, reminding him of the presence of the scouts. He forced a tight smile as he turned to face them. “Thank you, we will… discuss your findings. You are dismissed.” All three bowed and filed out in silence. Peter leaned back and crossed his arms, but the silence continued until he took a deep breath and let it out slowly, steadily. “We can’t go forward.”
“And we can’t go back,” Edmund finished.

Ariel.of.Narnia: Aaaaaand that's where I've hit a wall
Sir-Edward: Right then, let's break through it
Ariel.of.Narnia: Before I explain where I'm going with this story, are there any comments?
Sir-Edward: Epic, cool,(literally) and interesting enough to keep you reading.
Ariel.of.Narnia: Well that's good to know.
Ariel.of.Narnia: Should I be telling more? Less? Is anyone in the way? Is the dialogue blah?
Sir-Edward: Just enough to not just tell you everything so you stop reading, but just too much as to lag on too much
Sir-Edward:Where is the story going and where are you stuck?
Ariel.of.Narnia: Heehee
Ariel.of.Narnia: Okay, so this fic is more or less based on II Chronicles 20, in which King Jehoshaphat finds two nations coming up against Judah. He cries out to the Lord and is told to go to a certain place and watch God take care of things, basically.
Ariel.of.Narnia: My "wall" is actually a towering Centaur by the name of Oreius
Ariel.of.Narnia: I just don't know if he should be the one to relay that message or if another Centaur should. (I also feel like he's kinda in the way in the portion I shared, but anyway)
Sir-Edward: Hmmm..
Sir-Edward: My question is, why does it matter as long as the message gets fro point A to point B?
SehsisResdreamer: Yeah >.>
Ariel.of.Narnia: In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't really matter.
Ariel.of.Narnia: It's more of a... character thing with Oreius
Sir-Edward: I imagine he would want to take the message himself but that's just me.
Ariel.of.Narnia: Take the message? Do you mean give it or receive it?
Sir-Edward: No idea
Ariel.of.Narnia: Thanks
SehsisResdreamer: XD
Ariel.of.Narnia: I could also play with not having him around
Sir-Edward: lol
Ariel.of.Narnia: I don't think a general would normally be out and about on this sort of mission and with as few men as they've got, but then that's in our world too.
Sir-Edward: No more likely than two kings...
Ariel.of.Narnia:... good point
Ariel.of.Narnia: Wow
Ariel.of.Narnia: Wow. How did I not think of that?!
Ariel.of.Narnia: Thanks, Ed!
Sir-Edward: smiley-lol
Ariel.of.Narnia: Hum-dee-dum, how to handle this...
Ariel.of.Narnia: Anyway, I'll mull it over
Ariel.of.Narnia: As no one else has come in, is anyone up for a prompt challenge or something?
Sir-Edward: Indeed!
Ariel.of.Narnia: How about you, Sehsis?
SehsisResdreamer: I don’t really write, but ok :P
Ariel.of.Narnia: Cool!
Sir-Edward: Oh, you'll do fine.
SehsisResdreamer: :P
Ariel.of.Narnia: Ed, anything in particular you want to do?
Ariel.of.Narnia: Or shall I just come up with something
Ariel.of.Narnia: Hi, Nia!
Sir-Edward: Come up with something
Sir-Edward: *waves*
narniac101: Hi everybody!
SehsisResdreamer: Hullo
Ariel.of.Narnia: Okay then.
Ariel.of.Narnia: Shall we try...
Ariel.of.Narnia: A short story about...
Sir-Edward: ?
Sir-Edward: ??
Sir-Edward: ???!
Ariel.of.Narnia: Hey, I'm allowed to build up the tension!
Sir-Edward: Dun dun DUN!!
Ariel.of.Narnia: A "good Samaritan" who saves someone's life?
Sir-Edward: To general
Ariel.of.Narnia: *chuckles*
Ariel.of.Narnia: Do you want that prompt elaborated on or a separate one altogether?
Sir-Edward: Separate, I think
Ariel.of.Narnia: Okay
Ariel.of.Narnia: Origin story about someone who gains some sort of "superpower"?
Sir-Edward: Maybe....
Ariel.of.Narnia: Elaboration or new idea?
Sir-Edward: New.
Ariel.of.Narnia: *turns to google for help*
Ariel.of.Narnia: How are you with "first line" prompts?
Sir-Edward: Try me
Ariel.of.Narnia: Oh, my word, I love this site already...
Ariel.of.Narnia: "More and more people were refusing to obey the laws of the land" is the first one I got
Ariel.of.Narnia: Or there's a dialogue prompt of " 'He was unconscious when I found him' "
Sir-Edward: How about the fist one
SehsisResdreamer: I’ll give it a go..
Sir-Edward: (or we'll never get started)
Ariel.of.Narnia: Haha, okay
Ariel.of.Narnia: "More and more people were refusing to obey the laws of the land"
Ariel.of.Narnia: First line.
Ariel.of.Narnia: Let's try for 20 minutes
Ariel.of.Narnia: Aaaaand... go!
SehsisResdreamer: How long
Ariel.of.Narnia: However long you'd like, but try to keep it relatively short. It could be a couple paragraphs, half a page, a whole page...
Ariel.of.Narnia: I tend to go overtime and not that short *awkwardly clears throat* Bad habit of mine...
Sir-Edward: Heehee..
SehsisResdreamer: I can’t do it
Ariel.of.Narnia: How far have you got, Sehsis?
SehsisResdreamer: I cant even get a concept
Ariel.of.Narnia: Oh dear, I'm sorry
SehsisResdreamer: Not your fault
SehsisResdreamer: I did say I’m not much of a writer
Ariel.of.Narnia: Would you like a boost?
Sir-Edward: I got something but I dunno really what it is...*scratches head*
SehsisResdreamer: :P
Ariel.of.Narnia: You could have a frustrated king (be he good or corrupt). Or a village that's been plundered too many times. Or someone's decision to either keep the law despite all or to join in like every one else. Or a cop who's had a long week.
Ariel.of.Narnia: Do any of those help?
SehsisResdreamer: I guess
Ariel.of.Narnia: You are free to say that they're no help whatsoever too.
SehsisResdreamer: They are but I can’t write it
SehsisResdreamer: I tried something similar to the first but it just wouldn’t come out.
Ariel.of.Narnia: Okay, no sweat then.
Ariel.of.Narnia: How's yours, Ed?
Ariel.of.Narnia: I think I'm almost done with mine
Sir-Edward: I dunno..I just..dunno..
Sir-Edward: I think i'm done
Ariel.of.Narnia: Heehee, okay
Ariel.of.Narnia: You good to share while I finish up?
Sir-Edward: Sure
Sir-Edward: Right then, well my story takes place in the future I think
Sir-Edward: Going off the "oh, my word, I love this site already"

Sir-Edward shares ~

Sir-Edward: "Oh, my word, I love this site already!" Nancy said as she scanned the dig site all around her. The site was situated in the middle of a huge, tent set up to keep out the biting winds of the Sierra planes and was lit by lamps positioned around the four corners of the tent. "We found it just yesterday," Newton said smiling from beside her, I thought you might want to take a look for yourself." "Would I?” Nancy said grinning as she and Newton walked over to where what was left of a massive mechanical object lay on the ground. "Before you called me, I thought the dredgers were just a myth, a story to scare children..but.. they’re real!" she bent down to take a closer look at the huge behemoth. "I looked for years for proof of their existence, but nothing but the rubble of old civilizations crushed by their unbelievable power." "How did they..die out?" Newton asked hesitantly,"their creators made the mistake of giving them an artificial intelligence of their own till they simply didn't listen to anybody and at last destroyed even their own creators, then without the maintenance and care from those who created them they too at last died out- or at least that's how to myth goes.." Newton swallowed and looked again at the Dredger in front of him."a good thing too, a can't imagine wha-" as he reached out and touched the metal monster's head, a sudden burst of light emanated from the metal creature and a high-pitched whirring sound screamed from the thing like a siren. "What is going on?" Newton yelled, suddenly, the lights situated around the site burst and fizzled, leaving Nancy and Newton in the dark. They heard the sound of servos moving and the ground shook. Then, like two huge fireflies, a pair of massive eyes flashed on and stared straight at them.
Ariel.of.Narnia: Ooh!!
Ariel.of.Narnia: (also, I laughed because you used something I said offhandedly)
Sir-Edward: What? o.0
Sir-Edward: That wasn't a prompt?
SehsisResdreamer: "Oh my word I love this site already"
SehsisResdreamer: No it wasn’t XD
Ariel.of.Narnia: "I love this site already" wasn't a prompt. It was just something I said when I found a website with a bunch of prompts. :D
Ariel.of.Narnia: But hey, who cares!
Ariel.of.Narnia: You got something out and it was - as usual - interesting!
Sir-Edward: I don't really know what it was
Ariel.of.Narnia: I don't either, but I want more
Sir-Edward: lol
Ariel.of.Narnia: Last sentence here, sorry
Sir-Edward: You’re finishing up earlier then usual
Ariel.of.Narnia: Actually, I think I was faster last time with the story...
Ariel.of.Narnia: Okay
Ariel.of.Narnia: Mine's also in the future.
Ariel.of.Narnia: Dystopian if that helps (think Hunger Games, Divergent, etc)

Ariel.of.Narnia shares ~

Ariel.of.Narnia: More and more people were refusing to obey the laws of the land. Donovan really didn’t blame them. He was, in fact, one of them. The canned soup and baguette were unassuming, but it was only because he’d actually had the money to buy them today. The money, however, was what grouped Donovan with the lawbreakers. He had lifted a device from a government truck and sold it to the Uprising. It was because of people like him that the civil war had started in the first place.
Donovan walked down the street with his eyes on the sidewalk in an attempt to attract less attention, but every now and then, he’d glance at the civilians around him. People who had been wrung dry by the authorities. People who had little left to lose. People who were deprived of what little they had. People just like Donovan.
Despite the deal he had struck that morning, however, he was most emphatically not a part of the Uprising. He and his mother had turned to them after his father had been executed – murdered, really – for having been out after curfew. But even the rebels’ promises of help and a better life had been empty.
That was why one of /their/ devices would be sold to the government troops tomorrow morning. Donovan patted his hoodie pocket to ensure its safety as he rounded a corner. Down the dingy alley he went, stepping carefully around the piles of refuse and the occasional tramp. He settled down in the corner he called his and told himself – like he did every day – to be brave.
“Mom? Mom, I got some food.”
She tried to scoot herself into a sitting position, but the effort made her cough violently. Donovan began to fuss over her, but she just waved her hand – weakly – at him and whispered that she was fine and bother all the dust in this alley. Once he was sure her cough had settled down, Donovan rammed a knife into the soup can and watched as she slowly – painfully – sipped the cold, tinny broth.
Donovan didn’t care that he was lumped in with the lawbreakers or that he played both armies against each other. If it meant that he and his mother could survive another day, then that was the way it was going to be.

Ariel.of.Narnia: And there's another depressing piece of sci-fi from me.
Sir-Edward: *applause!!*
SehsisResdreamer: Nice
Ariel.of.Narnia: Heehee, thanks. It's rough and I kinda cheated by borrowing the character and situation from a previous piece of junk I wrote
Sir-Edward: That "piece of junk" was very well written.
Ariel.of.Narnia: Well, this one was better than the old one. :P
Ariel.of.Narnia: Well, thank you both for participating tonight!
Ariel.of.Narnia: Writers' is dismissed.

Writer's Group dismissed ~
knight and scribe
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