January 7, '17 Writer's Log

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narniac101
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January 7, '17 Writer's Log

Post by narniac101 » Mon Jan 09, 2017 9:25 pm

~ Writer's Group opens ~


gypsevedius: When does Writer's start?
Ariel.of.Narnia: twelve minutes ago. :P
gypsevedius: oh......
Ariel.of.Narnia: but unless you have something to share, I was just gonna wait till more show up.
featherfish: :runs in, panting:
Ariel.of.Narnia: @gyps: we could start now or we could wait. this is technically the start time, so....
Squirrel 9155368: *is Ela*
featherfish: hey, norelle
Ariel.of.Narnia: oh, hi, Ela! and Nia! and any other squirrels!
gypsevedius: Hi, Elanor!
narniac101: I AM NO LONGER A SQUIRREL MWAHAHAAA. I'm just here to watch.
Squirrel 9155368: I will remain a squirrel, too much trouble. :P
Squirrel 9155368: I am also here to just watch
featherfish: :hugs everyone then retreats back to the chandelier to be creepy and stare at people:
gypsevedius: So I share now....?
Ariel.of.Narnia: sure, gyps!
Ariel.of.Narnia: quiet down, everyone, for the lovely gyps!
gypsevedius: Oh okay....so I'm gonna share a poem. And I wrote it like, forever ago about Nia's cat who ran away. sooo... It's called "Where Are You, Larabee"

~ Gypsevedius shares ~


gypsevedius: Your memory will not erase,
Though you are gone without a trace.
You have been gone so very long,
Seeming in fact, to prove me wrong
That you would ever return.
– A lesson I have learned.
Never take what you love for granted;
For one day, life decides to take it.
– I do not know if you are dead,
I do not know if you're alive.
It's hard to think ahead when I think "Why?"
Why would you just disappear?
Why would you just leave me here?
Now I'm alone, and hurt, and sad.
Was it my fault? Did I do something bad?
I have so many questions for you
That nobody else can answer for me.
But the most asked question in my head is:
"Where are you, Larabee?"


featherfish: :dies:
featherfish: very good, Gypse
Ariel.of.Narnia: aw
gypsevedius: Thanks!
Ariel.of.Narnia: and better than my poetry
Squirrel 9155368: I like it. Very feeling.
narniac101: I love that poem ... *applauds*
gypsevedius: smiley-lol
gypsevedius: Thanks
Ariel.of.Narnia: and it applies nicely to other situations too, which makes it even more relatable
gypsevedius:...Yeah, definitely.
Ariel.of.Narnia: any further comments for gypsy on her poem?
Ariel.of.Narnia: alright then, I'll take that as a no.
gypsevedius: smiley-razz
Ariel.of.Narnia: does anyone have something to share?
featherfish: yeah
featherfish: I have a song
Ariel.of.Narnia: Alrighty, go ahead, feather!

~ Featherfish shares ~

featherfish: it gets dark at night
and when it's dark, it's cold
even if it's warm outside
it gets cold below
it gets cold below my skin
inside my head
there's no warmth within
when it's dark outside
it's dark inside
inside my head
where darkness runs to hide
where's it's dark and cold\
everybody knows
the darkness is my home
the dark that's down below
has made my mind grow cold
and when my mind is cold and dark
it makes it difficult for my heart
to stay warm
keep pumping blood
when is it time to be done?

so all day I’ll wait for night to come
and to the shadows I will run
the dark has be come my friend of late
so for the nighttime I will wait

if you can't already tell
I’m a creature of the night
I’m in the dark so much
that I wonder if I might
begin to enjoy it
for you see if I destroy it
all that I do in the dark
will surface and you'll see the stark
reality, really in reality
my heart is waiting for me
somewhere out of my reach
until I find it, then
the darkness is my friend
so heart, keep pumping blood
until this is all undone

so all day I’ll wait for night to come
and to the shadows I will run
the dark has be come my friend of late
so for the nighttime I will wait

shadows creeping over me
someone save me
help me please
shadows creeping over me
someone save me
help me please
shadows creeping over me
someone save me
help me please

so all day I’ll wait for night to come
and to the shadows I will run
the dark has be come my friend of late
so for the nighttime I will wait
so all day I’ll wait for night to come
and to the shadows I will run
the dark has be come my friend of late
so for the nighttime I will wait


Ariel.of.Narnia: *re-reads and processes it*
gypsevedius: That's oddly very beautiful. I like that.
featherfish: @Ariel: is that a good thing? o.o
gypsevedius: I'm a big fan of songs that show relatable emotion. And that really does it.
Ariel.of.Narnia: in this case, yes, a good thing.
Featherfish thanks, Gypse
featherfish: @Ariel: okay, good
Ariel.of.Narnia: I like exploring a mind, which is what this does.
featherfish: smiley
featherfish: thanks
Ariel.of.Narnia: good job on your use of words to make me feel something that I haven't felt much.
Ariel.of.Narnia: any further comments on feather's song?
Ariel.of.Narnia: (curious, feather, have you set it to a tune?)
Squirrel 9155368: I've read it three times now, and I have to say I really like it. It's an exploration of the mind, like Ariel said. Also, I appreciate the word choices you used here.
featherfish: @Ariel: no, I don't have a tune yet
featherfish: wow, everyone keeps reading it O.o
featherfish: thanks guys ^-^
Ariel.of.Narnia: it's one of those things that require sinking in and mulling over. A good thing, by the way!
featherfish: oh, cool
narniac101: Ditto, Ariel. I really like it, but I'm not sure what to say about it.
featherfish: you don't have to say anything o.o
gypsevedius: Yeah...
featherfish: I didn't think it was very good
Ariel.of.Narnia: that's alright. There is always room for improvement and tinkering about
featherfish: I have one other completed song
Ariel.of.Narnia: fire away!
featherfish: one sec


featherfish: and now the day
has come to an end
go to sleep
I’ll see you again
hush, my dear
you don't have to fear
the night will leave
the day is near

I know you're hurt
and feel alone
and you will cry
inside your home
I am hurt
I feel it too
there's nothing else
I can say to you

if you don't think
you can stay
then please just wait
until the day
when morning comes
all is new
now close your eyes
because I love you

goodnight
goodnight
now close your eyes
the sun will rise into the sky

goodnight, my friend
I’ll remember you
if you are afraid
one thing is true
the night is dark
it's cold inside
but just wait for day
now close your eyes.


gypsevedius: That one's really good, too.
featherfish: thanks
featherfish: you were one of the people that I wrote it for, Gypse
gypsevedius: Oh wow... that means a lot. Thanks.
Ariel.of.Narnia: I like the rhythm. There are a couple spots that deviate, but I'm hardly one to judge on that 'cause I stink at writing rhythm. :P it is simpler than the last one, but no less heart-felt.
featherfish: yw
featherfish: it was the first complete song I wrote
featherfish: and it actually does have a tune
featherfish: on the ukulele/guitar, it's Am, C, G, D
featherfish: I think
Ariel.of.Narnia: oh nice!
Featherfish: I’m planning on putting it up on my soundcloud soon
Ariel.of.Narnia: that would be neat-o to get out there!
Ariel.of.Narnia: any further comments?
Ariel.of.Narnia: then the floor is open for the next to share!
Ariel.of.Narnia: *hears crickets*
Ariel.of.Narnia: in that case then, is anyone interested in a timed challenge?
Featherfish: okay
Ariel.of.Narnia: alright. here's the challenge: Pick an ordinary object. Make it your favourite Narnia character's obsession. Write a story about the obsession.
we'll go with 15-20 minutes
featherfish: oh dear
featherfish: I have to choose a favorite character
featherfish: I have 3
Ariel.of.Narnia: haha!
featherfish: I’m going with Lasaraleen xD
Ariel.of.Narnia: ooh, that'll be fun.
Ariel.of.Narnia: ready, set, go!
Sir-Edward: hello, did I miss anything?
Ariel.of.Narnia: hi, Ed! haven't seen you for a while!
Sir-Edward: indeed
Ariel.of.Narnia: you did miss a poem and two songs, and we're currently doing a timed challenge, if you'd like to join us!
Sir-Edward: Hmmmm.... ok
Ariel.of.Narnia: feather, Ed, how are you guys doing on your stories?
Sir-Edward: I'm at a point that I could wrap it up I suppose
featherfish: if I could have a few more minutes that would be nice
Ariel.of.Narnia: you know me, Ed. I'm never done on time.
Ariel.of.Narnia: we'll go a few minutes more, feather, no worries
Sir-Edward: indeed
featherfish: thanks guys <3
featherfish: tbh idk why I wrote this
Ariel.of.Narnia: lol. I feel the same way about mine
Ariel.of.Narnia: I'm almost done with mine.
featherfish: it's the weirdest thing I’ve ever written xD
featherfish: I think I’ve been watching the twilight zone too much lately
Sir-Edward: mine isn't very good but at least the "obsession" makes sense given the context
Ariel.of.Narnia: the thing about these challenges is that they can always be brushed up later.
featherfish: hehe
Ariel.of.Narnia: Ed, since you were done first, would you like to share first?
Featherfish: I might just have to post mine on Fanfiction
Sir-Edward: ookey
Sir-Edward: here ya go

~ Sir-Edward shares ~


Sir-Edward: Pete was going to kill him. he was going to have to exile himself to the deepest, darkest place in all of Narnia to escape his brother's wrath. he had lost it. he had lost the sword of high king Peter the magnificent. if he didn't retrieve Pete's sword he would never hear the end of it. and worse yet time was running out, three days. three days was all he had before his brother returned from Archenland and discovered that Edmond had gone and lost his sword for him. another drop of sweat beaded on Edmund's brow and rolled slowly down his face to join the many others. he had been riding the whole night without rest. his horse Philip pounded the earth beneath him in long, powerful strides. he was almost to Tashbaan, then the real work would begin. in a city the size of Tashbaan, the sword could be almost anywhere, but he knew a few good places to start. first thing's first though, he would have to find a way to blend in. walking around in full chain mail and Tabbard bearing the crest of Aslan wouldn't get him very far here. "Edmund" the voice jolted him out of his thoughts and looking down he realized the voice was Philip’s. "what is it Philip?" he asked, a bit sleepily. "we're here" was all the horse said and Edmond's dreariness left him at once. sure enough the silhouetted spires of Tashbaan city seemed to crawl ominously over hill towards them. "we are indeed my friend" breathed Edmond, a little taken aback at the sight of the looming towers and pointed spires of the huge city framed in the dim yellow glow of the rising sun that was just then starting to peek over the eastern mountains. Edmond let out a calming breath and nodded to Philip to continue on toward Tashbaan. "now let's find that sword."
featherfish: man Edmund how'd you manage to do that
featherfish: losing Pete’s sword?
featherfish: really?
featherfish: xD
Sir-Edward: I don't know! but it seemed like something Edmond would obsess over if he lost it
Ariel.of.Narnia: he totally would.
Sir-Edward: who's next
Ariel.of.Narnia:... what was Ed doing with Rhindon in Tashbaan?! :P
featherfish: I can go
Sir-Edward: beats me
featherfish: idk but it seems like the kind of scrape he would get himself into
Ariel.of.Narnia: haha.
Ariel.of.Narnia: your turn, feather!
Sir-Edward: fire away!

~ Featherfish shares ~


featherfish: It was a simple necklace, really. A fine gold chain, strung with a single opal, polished to perfection. It wasn’t nearly as fine as some as the other jewelry in Lasaraleen’s massive collection. But it was old, older than anything in her house, and had a peculiar story. It was whispered by the old women who did the Tarkheena’s laundry that something very queer and terrible had happened to the necklace’s previous owner, many years ago; it was claimed that he disappeared, and, if you happened outside on a dark night, you could still hear him crying out for it. The gem in the necklace, you see, was called The Precious Opal.

(scene break)

“Darling, would you find me a necklace to match this dress? Something white, an opal, perhaps, would be simply divine, for there is a white trim on my gown, and they simply must match, for this party tonight is of the utmost importance.” With that unnecessarily long request, a handmaiden of Lasaraleen Tarkheena was sent into a storage room.
A moment later, the dark young woman came back into the Tarkheena’s chambers. “Will this suit, your lady?” she asked, carefully holding out a beautiful opal necklace.
“It most certainly will, darling! Why, I haven’t seen something so beautiful since I was being carried down my litter yesterday--you know, to go to that lovely party at Tarkheena Mahair threw since she became engaged--and saw a dress on display by that lovely little shop where I overheard just the other day about Prince Rabadash and Queen Susan--I think she’s a barbarian, personally, but the son of the Tisroc (may he live forever) may of course choose whichever woman he desires. It was pink, with a lovely gold trim and pearls encrusted in the neckline.” After a moment’s pause, the Tarkheena sighed with impatience. “Darling, please put the necklace on me.”
The handmaid (whose name was Lina,) had a strange difficulty giving the necklace to the Tarkheena--she wanted to keep it. “Precious Opal, my Precious Opal,” she murmured.
“What was that?” Lasaraleen practically shrieked.
Lina went red. “N-nothing, your ladyship, I said nothing,” she quickly said, hastily clasping the necklace around the Tarkheena’s neck.
When Lasaraleen turned to her vanity, her jaw dropped. “Where has this been, handmaid?” she asked, reaching up to touch the gem.
“In the storage room, my lady.”
“So it is mine, then? My Precious Opal?”
Lina swallowed, enviously eyeing the gemstone.
The Tarkheena noticed the look and ordered the handmaid leave her at once--she didn’t trust anyone near her Precious Opal; they all wanted to steal it from her.
“My Precious,” she murmured once the room was empty.

(scene break)

Several weeks later, and Lasaraleen Tarkheena seemed to have gone mad. Nobody was allowed in her chambers--she didn’t seem to need sleep or food anymore, and she could be heard talking in the middle of the night. Her slaves and handmaidens, who would sometimes linger outside of her door, begging her to come out and eat, heard her talking to someone she called “Precious.” Lina, blamed it all on herself. “If only I hadn’t given her the Precious,” she thought hopelessly.
Inside the Tarkheena’s chambers, things weren’t much better. Lasaraleen had turned off all the light in her chambers, and her eyes had begun to enlarge to compensate for the darkness. She was getting stick-thin, and had begun walking on hands and knees. Her once-fine robes were in tatters, and she’d developed a nasty cough.
Then one day, she escaped out a window. Some said that they saw a pale creature, with big eyes, sparse hair, and a terrible cough escaping the city by night. And it’s said now that if you go down to the old tombs, you can hear the creature that was once Lasaraleen Tarkheena, coughing and talking to her Precious.

featherfish: the end
gypsevedius: Haha that's funny!
featherfish: thanks
Sir-Edward: lol good one
Ariel.of.Narnia: whoops. *reads*
Sir-Edward: nice tie-in
narniac101: *SNORK*
featherfish: so yeah now Las is Gollum
featherfish: I’m not sure why I did that
Sir-Edward: Shasta didn't know his peril when he stopped at the tombs
Ariel.of.Narnia: oh good heavens!
Ariel.of.Narnia: no wonder everyone talked about her mad jokes.
Ariel.of.Narnia: *snorks at Ed*
featherfish: @Edward: true xD
featherfish: @Ariel: yeah, she's crazy
featherfish: I’m cracking up way too much at my own story
Ariel.of.Narnia: :P
Ariel.of.Narnia: and here I was about to congratulate Las for liking such a simple necklace *shakes head mournfully*
featherfish: MY PRECIOUS
featherfish: :is super sleep-deprived:
narniac101: LINA MY LOVE, GIVE IT TO US
featherfish: xD
featherfish: IT IS OURS
featherfish: :dies:
Ariel.of.Narnia: oh dear
Sir-Edward: are to done with your story Ariel or are you still...*voice darkens* /WRITING?/
featherfish: :gasp of horror:
featherfish: :sounds of ladies fainting:
Ariel.of.Narnia: @Ed: lol. um... I mean, I've sort of reached an end, but I'm clearly gonna have to go back and make adjustments 'cause I didn't quite know how I wanted the last bit to go.
Ariel.of.Narnia: okay... here's my all-over-the-place answer to the challenge

~ Ariel.of.Narnia shares ~


Ariel.of.Narnia: “Where is it?”
Up until then, Edmund had ignored the shuffling sounds coming from the other side of the room, but now he looked up from his book. Peter lifted a mess of papers from his nightstand, then checked the folds of quilt around his legs. He set the papers down on the nightstand again, then hefted the textbook from his lap, dropping a pencil to the floor as he did. He let out a soft growl and leaned dangerously to the side to pick it back up. Edmund furrowed his brows a little when Peter shifted his position entirely and began pat around the pillows frantically.

“What is it?” Edmund finally asked.
Peter stopped, bewilderment shadowing his features. “My paperweight.”
Edmund’s eyes grew wide. “The one from Professor Kirke?” He forgot to bookmark his place before he shut the book and threw it on his pillow. “Where did you last see it?”
Peter checked again under the papers on his nightstand. “Right here.” He threw down the papers in frustration, not caring that two of them fluttered to the floor. “Right here,” he repeated.
Edmund dropped to the floor and felt around under the bed. Peter whipped back the quilt and frowned at the sheets. His pencil fell again, striking Edmund’s head first before finding the floor again. “Are you sure you last saw it here?” Edmund asked as he set the pencil and forgotten papers on the nightstand. He noticed the drawer was slightly ajar, but before he could open it further, Peter shut it with a sigh.
“I came up after lunch,” Peter said aloud, more to himself than to Edmund. “I got my books.” He pointed at the chest of drawers opposite his bed. “Settled down here, got my pencil and paper from the drawer… It was here.” He pointed to the nightstand. “I know because I held it for a while.”
Edmund vaguely remembered Peter playing with something while he studied, but was that here or in the living room? Or was he even remembering today? Peter fiddled with things so often when he read, it was hard to remember what he held, when, and where. “Are you sure you didn’t have it with you downstairs?”
“Right. Here.” Peter jabbed the nightstand with his finger for punctuation. “I put it down when I picked up my pencil.”
Edmund hummed and tried harder to remember, but he was soon distracted by Peter: his brother’s eyes darted about but looked at nothing in particular, his fingertips ran over his thumb again and again, and his breaths were loud with concentration. Edmund peeked at the textbook and frowned. No wonder Peter was stressed. “I think you left it downstairs. I’ll check.”
In the living room, Edmund surveyed the bookshelves, lifted each potted plant – twice –, and even displaced Susan from her place on the sofa to check under the cushions. Nothing. He scratched his head, apologized to Susan, and trudged back up the stairs, half-expecting to see the whole room upturned.
Instead, Peter was settled again with his back against his pillows, textbook on his knees, a wholly different look of concentration in his eyes… and the paperweight swinging in measured arcs between his fingers.
Edmund crossed his arms. “Where was it?”
Peter didn’t look up - or /wouldn’t/, Edmund realized when he saw the flush of colour rise in Peter’s cheeks. “In the… in the drawer,” he admitted.
“When did you find it?”
“Right after you left.”
Edmund made sure Peter couldn’t miss his huff of displeasure. “And you didn’t think to let me know. Really, Pete.”

Ariel.of.Narnia: the, um, end...
Ariel.of.Narnia: *scratches head*
Ariel.of.Narnia: so many things dying for attention.
Sir-Edward: *applauds*
featherfish: smiley-lol
featherfish: I liked it very much
featherfish: the bromance made me happy ^-^
Ariel.of.Narnia: good to know!
Ariel.of.Narnia: I don't write enough of the Pevensies...
featherfish: I always get scared to write canon main characters of any fandom because I’m afraid they'll be super OOC...:?
Ariel.of.Narnia: *jots down a list of things she needs to fix so she had reference when she does go back to fix it*
Ariel.of.Narnia: that's a legitimate fear
Ariel.of.Narnia: though... you did just do it with Las.
featherfish: that was intentional
Ariel.of.Narnia: haha, I know.
Ariel.of.Narnia: *looks at clock* Kristi is supposed to come in approx 15 minutes, hopefully with something to share...
Ariel.of.Narnia: ideas on filling the time?
Sir-Edward: do you want any ideas for changing you story?
featherfish: :shrugs and climbs back up the chandelier:
Ariel.of.Narnia: if you've got any, yes! bring them on!
featherfish:*shrugs
Ariel.of.Narnia: I know I should expand on the paperweight itself
Sir-Edward: the first would be that Peter was making a show of losing the paperweight so as to get Edmond out of the room for some reason
Ariel.of.Narnia: I was thinking about that, actually
Sir-Edward: then when Edmond returns that would add an interesting ending as Pete’s plot comes to light
Ariel.of.Narnia: yessssss
Ariel.of.Narnia: yesssss, just need to figure out what it is Peter is trying to do in secret
Ariel.of.Narnia: but I like that so much better
narniac101:he wants the chocolate all for himself ...
Ariel.of.Narnia: *snerks!*
Ariel.of.Narnia: (@Nia: *suddenly sees an empty sweets bag on Ed's bed and a totally failed look of innocence on Peter's face...*)
featherfish: but he could have, like, a girlfriend or something like that who he's writing a letter to
Ariel.of.Narnia: funny enough, I was thinking of that possibility too.
featherfish: O.o
featherfish: wow, I’m smarter than I thought
Ariel.of.Narnia: as much as I generally like to think of the Pevensies as single. :P
featherfish: yeah
Ariel.of.Narnia: honestly, it's mainly an option just because I wanna see the look on Peter's face when Ed comes back a little too soon and busts him. :P
featherfish: xD
featherfish: yes
Sir-Edward: another idea would be that peter is two sure that he didn't leave it in the drawer that they search the entire castle before finally giving up and returning dejectedly to their room then ed is like are you sure you didn't leave it in the drawer? and Pete's like NO! for the last time I -and then he open's the drawer to find the paper weight
featherfish: I need that fic in my life, Ariel
Ariel.of.Narnia: @Ed: another thought that crossed my mind too. Edmund being wrong about it being downstairs is definitely not as funny as that.
Ariel.of.Narnia: @feather: *snickers* maybe I need two versions of this story? :P
Sir-Edward: lol
featherfish: you definitely do Ariel.of.Narnia: *wonders how different the story has to be in order to be okay to post it twice on fanfiction.net...*
Ariel.of.Narnia: or I could just post one on fanfiction.net and leave the other here as a bonus. :P
Ariel.of.Narnia: *grins*
Ariel.of.Narnia: anymore brilliant ideas, guys?
featherfish: sorry, I gave you my only brilliant idea
featherfish: I won't be able to come up with any more brilliant ideas until next week
Ariel.of.Narnia: lol! used up your quota for the week, huh?
Sir-Edward: all my brilliance leaked out my ears a long time ago...
Ariel.of.Narnia: *wonders if she should even entertain the idea of Peter losing paperweights being a recurring issue*
Sir-Edward: also how did Peter get a paperweight from professor Kirk?
featherfish: O.o maybe he's a wizard
Sir-Edward: he found a portal to our world and used it to steal a paperweight?
Ariel.of.Narnia: @Ed: my mind was setting this some time after LWW, possibly even between PC and VDT
Ariel.of.Narnia: so England
Ariel.of.Narnia: not that I said so in the story. :P
Sir-Edward: I was thinking golden age
Ariel.of.Narnia: another reason I was wondering if it's a remotely good idea to make Peter's missing paperweights a recurring issue, so he has more reason to actually obsess over a paperweight and so I have an excuse to write multiple versions of the same story. :P
featherfish: hehe
Kristi: Hi!
Sir-Edward: Greetings!
Ariel.of.Narnia: hi, Kristi!
gypsevedius: Hi, Kristi!
featherfish: :hugs: hi, Kristi!
Kristi: Are all these people here for writer's?
Sir-Edward: yup
Kristi: Wonderful!
Ariel.of.Narnia: yeah! we had a bunch of action!
Kristi: Excellent. Who are we dissecting now?
Ariel.of.Narnia: well, they were dissecting me.
Ariel.of.Narnia: I think they left off somewhere around the liver.
Sir-Edward: we're working toward the spleen
Featherfish: xD
Ariel.of.Narnia: feather, Ed, and I did a prompt challenge and they gave me ideas to fix mine.
Kristi: liver...
Kristi: great

[Kristi's story removed by request]

An Unknown Pevensie: Also..... is it too late to share?
An Unknown Pevensie: Heheheh Sir Ed.
Sir-Edward: no no! by all means!
Sir-Edward: fire away!
An Unknown Pevensie: I have HTTYD fanfic I wrote recently and I want to see what you think.
Ariel.of.Narnia: go for it Pev! sorry, didn't realize you had something!
An Unknown Pevensie: Is that allowed here?
An Unknown Pevensie: Oh okay.
Ariel.of.Narnia: so long as it's G or PG-rated.
An Unknown Pevensie: Uhhhh how large should each section be?
An Unknown Pevensie: (nod)
Ariel.of.Narnia: I like to go by paragraph, others like to do the whole shebang...
An Unknown Pevensie: Whatever a shebang is, I think that is what I have.

~ An Unknown Pevensie shares ~


An Unknown Pevensie: "Come on, girl! You can do it!" Astrid whispered as loud as she dared. She had been secretly training her Stormfly, a deadly nadder, to be stealthier. They were over the ocean, silent as an owl, trying to out fly Hiccup and Toothless. While the latter pair was by far the fastest, Astrid thought that they might be able to surprise them. In her favor.
"Good" Astrid thought, as Hiccup made no sign of noticing them. Toothless would normally recognize their presence by now, and turn his head to greet them. No sign of that either.
"A few more feet now...." They inched closer. She stood up, planning on leaping down on Hiccup.
Right before she jumped, the night fury shot forward with a burst of speed, then headed up an arched seastack she hadn't noticed right in front of them. Dropping to a seated position, Astrid maneuvered Stormfly silently under the arch, still with hopes of a surprise. She waited for Hiccup to come back down, as he normally did. The air currents around the seastacks give a wonderful flying experience, and Hiccup always took advantage of them to have a little fun. And diving down the side was by far the best.
Astrid waited longer. She listened carefully, but heard nothing. Slowly, she peaked out looking for him. Edging her dragon farther out from under the arch, she wondered where he went.
"What on earth?" Normally she would have heard them leave, for the tail mechanism isn't exactly the most quiet. But they were nowhere to be seen.
Before she could think any farther, Hiccup's lithe frame dropped out of nowhere in front of her, landing on Stormfly perfectly. Astrid almost jumped out of her skin.
"Not the shock you were expecting to see, M'lady?" Hiccup grinned, seeing her face of surprise. At sixteen, he had begun to take on a different form, resulting in a lot of accidents. This time, she almost attacked him, thinking he was someone else again. After a few moments of recognition, she laughed.
"Where is your dragon?"
"On the seastack." He replied, pointing up.
She laughed again as thoughts ran through her mind. "Good, I guess if he is safe he won't need to worry!" She said.
"Hey! No fair." Hiccup said, and the nadder began to climb into the sky rapidly. He hung on, having nothing holding him to the dragon. Astrid just laughed again and grabbed his arm, ignoring the pleas of Toothless below. Pretty soon Stormfly evened out, allowing Hiccup to get situated.
"Well, now what are you going to do?" He asked.
"Oh, perhaps leave your dragon here for a bit and pretend I lost you." She was smiling.
"Oh no. Not this time. If we are doing something with your dragon around, mine has to be with us too." He smiled big. They were hovering in the air above the seastacks.
"What are you going to do about it?" She smiled as though issuing a challenge. Hiccup accepted. He leapt off the nadders back and proceeded to fall. Astrid gasped in shock, but Hiccup wasn't done.
"Toothless!" He called, pulling on a string attached to some contraption on his back. He was getting close to the seastack, and Toothless didn't know what to do about it. In the nick of time, a pair of wings leapt out of the weird box strapped to Hiccup, catching air for a second and swooping him out of the way of the seastack. But the moment only lasted a second. The wings failed again, but thankfully Hiccup was out of immediate danger. This allowed Toothless to dive down with him and catch him in a perfect rescue maneuver. They swept back up to the tom of the seastack, where Astrid and Stormfly were just landing. Astrid's eyes were wide, as she hopped off Stormfly and ran over to the pair. Hiccup just smiled sheepishly, embarrassed that his invention had not worked too well.
"Er.. sorry, Astrid." He said as she ran up to him.
"You almost killed yourself! What were you thinking!" She screamed at him.
"Uh...." He started to reply, but Astrid put a hand on his mouth, furious.
"Don't say anything! You are not getting away with that again!" Then replaying what had happened in her mind again, a tear escaped her eye and she pulled him close in a hug that almost rivaled Stoiks. Pulling away, she punched him in the gut, ran to her nadder, and flew toward Berk.
Hiccup slowly pulled himself to his feet, shrugged at Toothless, and then took off slower in the same direction.

Ariel.of.Narnia: heh. I do like that she punched him for it. :P
Ariel.of.Narnia: and nice to see a trial run of his wings too!
An Unknown Pevensie: Good.
An Unknown Pevensie: That wasn't nearly all of it.
An Unknown Pevensie: XD
Ariel.of.Narnia: oh there's more? go ahead!
Sir-Edward :indeed!
An Unknown Pevensie: Oh well..... kay.
An Unknown Pevensie: Well it is the part where Hiccup proposes.
An Unknown Pevensie: In a special holiday that I thought needed celebrating.
An Unknown Pevensie: the whole thing is 20 pages long. I will give you a different part that I really like.



An Unknown Pevensie: There was nothing but celebration that evening. A few hours after noon, the houses were judged. Snotlout's decorations were all tilted slightly, and Ruff and Tuff decided to spend a good amount of time criticizing it, and running away from Snotlout. Not to say that the twin's decorations were a lot better; but still only half their house seemed straight. Fishlegs and Astrid were at the Haddock house, admiring the new red death head carving mounted on the front. If Hiccup had been near he would have gotten lots of congratulations. But he was not anywhere near.
No, Hiccup was over studying the house Astrid occupied. By herself. It was well enough sized for one person to live in alone, but Hiccup wanted to make some modifications as a gift. He walked around and around until it was reported to Astrid, by a couple mischievous twins, that he was cheating. This the duo had agreed on entirely, and nothing Hiccup said could dissuade them from telling Astrid so. Thus came yet another displeasing encounter with Astrid.
"Hiccup! What do you think you are doing? I told you what would happen if I caught a cheater!" Her axe at his chest.
"Wha... what, Astrid? I was not cheating!" He protested.
Wanting to believe him, Astrid eased off a little. "Then what WERE you doing?"
"Ahh yeah I was, well... just admiring it, you know." He gestured towards the building. "Very well done. I like it." Hiccup smiled his best, looking at her axe.
"Well no more. And you had better not go to your house, or I am going to punish you for cheating!"
"Ah, no worries. Please. I won't, I promise. You know me, I wouldn't cheat!"
Astrid just looked at him distrustingly; she was still mad at him. Hiccup ran off to his little workshop in the forge, where he made all his designs. Making sure no one was around, he started his plans for Astrid's house. Hopefully, by tonight, he could get it done and finished. When Astrid was busy, of course. "New door..... nope. Better sky door.... maybe. Anything wrong with the house? ...... She has complained her bed is too hard... but it is nailed to the floor...." Hiccup muttered to himself, trying to come up with a good surprise. He was so focused on his thoughts and drawings, he didn't hear Gobber enter.
"What are ye working on now, Hiccup? Ye should be out Celebratin'." Gobber's accented voice made Hiccup jump.
"Oh, Hi Gobber. I was just working on a surprise." He tried to hide his papers. Gobber was too quick.
"A surprise, eh? For who?" He grabbed a couple papers. "Wait, this looks like Astrid's house. A mechanical door? New bed? Ohhh that looks comfy." Gobber shivered, imagining the bed Hiccup had drawn.
"Quiet down Gobber, the whole village would hear you!" Hiccup tried to shush him.
"Ohh right. A surprise." Gobber whispered, winking. "Ye know, I have got just the idea!"
"Yeah... ah what? You have an idea?" Hiccup was taken back.
"Yep. If you let me help, we can make a wonderful surprise for yer girlfriend."
"She's not my girlfriend, Gobber. But what was your idea?"
And so Gobber started explaining something to Hiccup. After a few minutes, they both smiled and went off to collect the supplies.
Later that evening, Stoik gathered everyone into the Meade Hall for the speech, and contest results. "Well well. The time has come!" He said quieting everyone. "This day, we celebrate the day my son, Hiccup, and his pet dragon, Toothless, for their bravery and skill exactly one year ago, when they save the warriors of Berk form the Red Death!" Extravagant cheering unsues, as Stoick calls Hiccup up to the platform. Stoick held a hand up to quiet the crowd. "Hiccup has asked, and I have gladly granted his request, that those who helped him in this be recognized as well. Welcome Snotlout, Astrid, Fishlegs, and the Thorston twins Tuffnut and Ruffnut!" More cheering. A lot of cheering, as the teens walked onto the platform, Tuff ridiculously bowing and Snotlout waving. Fishlegs was just shy, but Astrid was looking at Hiccup in admiration. She had known in her heart he would do this, but the fact that he actually did was all the better. Stoik continued, "I am more proud of these young people of Berk than I have ever been before, and I want you all to know that you should be too. We have Hiccup to thank for peace with the dragons, and for showing us what they truly are. Thank you Hiccup, and the rest of you as well." Stoik bowed to the teens, and the rest of the hall followed suit. Then, at a signal from Stoik, Gobber came and presented them all with a gift from himself and Stoik, on behalf of all the people of Berk. The applause didn't die until all the gifts were distributed, and some time after. To each dragon rider a saddle was given, and the crowd would not rest until the new saddles were tested. Much to the thankfulness of many, all the riders were pleased with the saddles. They were lighter weight, but built to last. "You sure knew what you were doing, Gobber." Stoik told him when the riders appeared pleased with the gifts.
"Ah, don't thank me, Stoik. Thank Hiccup, I only followed his designs that he accidentally left on the workshop table last week."
"Well, I am glad you did. I am not sure anyone else could have made better saddles than you, though."
"Heh. Quite right."
As soon as the crowd slowed down a little, Stoik once again quieted them. "People of Berk. As many of you have seen, a fair amount of houses are decorated. I was asked to turn this into a competition." The crowd gets even quieter. "Yes, and the judges have just given me the results." Stoik looked down at the long list of participants Bucket handed him. Then he appeared shocked. "Well well. It looks like the winners of the medals are..... Astrid! Astrid takes the #1!" The cheering rose and Stoik laughed. "I guessed so. Her nadder spikes lining the frame sure does have a wonderful Viking look to it." Astrid smiled and bowed. Stoik continued. "Second place is...... Hiccup!" Stoik yelled above the crowd. "And #3 is........ " At this Stoik stopped. He looked at Bucket and Mulch quizzically.
"It's right, Stoik."
"Alright! The winner of Third place is Gobber! For decorating Meade Hall! I had no clew it was decorated."
"Yep, Stoik. You have been so busy settin' things up inside that ye didn't notice I really fixed up the outside." At this the cheering lasted for what seemed an eternity to Hiccup. It was still going pretty strong when he walked out of the hall 20 minutes later.
Nearly every dragon rider's house was connected to it's dragon stable. Astrid's was on the left side of her house, but to get to it, one had to exit the house. Astrid got cold easily, and Hiccup noticed that she was never happy each morning before she had fed Stormfly and went for a flight to warm up. Especially in the winter season, which was right around the corner. Giving Hiccup a perfect chance to give her a bit of ingenuity in the form of a connecting door. Not just any door, but a door big enough for a nadder, if the need arose. Now, this would normally be a heavy door to lift, but Hiccup and Gobber really think well together, and their idea was definitely complicated. In the end, though, Hiccup would make sure it was easy to operate.
To make things better, Stoik had broke out the mead, and told the teens they deserved a good drink on this special holiday. Not much, but enough to celebrate with. Hiccup secretly disdained from drinking his, knowing well how it stunted the thinking for a time. And he would need all his thought in order for the upcoming challenge: making sure Astrid didn't find out about the surprise too early. Most of the time he was thankful that Astrid was not too keen on drinking, but this time he hoped she would find the cause justifiable.
Once most everyone was well into the partying in Meade Hall, Gobber and Hiccup quietly left, hoping no one would notice them. A few did, but Gobber made the excuse that he had a special something for Hiccup, and everyone willingly fell for that. After all, the hero of the day deserved as many special things as they would give him. Even Astrid fell for that, though she did feel a little suspicious when she realized that Gobber hadn't been drinking. But he said he needed to stay sober for a few hours more for something special (Hiccup had bribed him with promises of extra mead, knowing that was a risk he could afford to make). Quietly making their way to Astrid's house, they set to work. As quiet as possible, that is. At least everyone was almost drunk and didn't notice anything. Stormfly had to be moved temporarily to Hiccup's stable, which was difficult at first, but with Toothless as company, she didn't mind.
After two hard hours of work, the door was finished. They had cut out a large portion of the wall, hooked it up to one of Hiccup's ingenious pulley systems, and blocked all the drafts from the cuts in the wall. Testing it, Gobber found with surprise that pulling a small rope would easily lift the door up high enough for a nadder to fit through, on both sides of the wall. He shook his head in wonder at Hiccup's ingenuity. Then it was time for Hiccup to retrieve the nadder. To make things troublesome, the Vikings were beginning to wander out of the hall, in the general direction of their homes. Being as sneaky as possible (not too hard with a nadder trained in silence), Hiccup and Stormfly made their way back to Astrid's house. Half way there, Hiccup suddenly found himself face-to-face with Astrid herself.
"What are you doing with my dragon, Hiccup?!" She stormed.
Shocked, Hiccup thought quickly, trying to come up with an excuse." Uhh.. well... you know, you were all in there celebrating, and well.... I figured, uhh.. the dragons could use some exercise. Stormfly has been cooped up for hours, you know. She was itching to get out."
This made sense to Astrid (still a little fuzzy), who backed off a little. "Okay, you are right. Thanks, Hiccup. But no more. I am going to take Stormfly back." Hiccup nodded.
"Go ahead. Uhh... yeah, Astrid." He handed the rope to Astrid, who, reaching for it, tottered and fell over.
"Ahh what? Astrid? Are you okay?" Hiccup got worried. Maybe she had a little too much mead. He bent over her. She didn't move. He turned her over. She had a ridiculous smile on her face, and she began giggling. Then Hiccup realized it was after midnight, and with a head full of mead in this cold weather, she would never get to her house. "Oh well" He thought. Careful he picked her up and went to place her on Stormfly. Stormfly had a different idea. Taking her owner in her mouth, very carefully, she trotted off to her stable, lay Astrid down, and proceeded to take care of her as though Astrid were a young nadder. Keeping Astrid warm with her body heat, the nadder went to sleep, with Hiccup watching in amazement. "Well, I know Astrid's safe." He couldn't wait to tell her in the morning though, what had taken place. Grinning at the thought, he went to find Gobber to share a couple tankards of mead over the story.

Next morning even Hiccup got up early, having planned the day before a early-morning flight with Astrid and Stormfly. He got up Toothless, who was itching to go, and walked down to Astrid's house as the sun was peeking over the horizon. Most everybody would be asleep late, after such a reveling night. He hoped Astrid would remember that she had promised him the flight. He approached and knocked on her door. No answer. Hiccup went to look in the stable. Stormfly knew what was up, and slowly stood up to reveal a still-sleeping Astrid. She barely stirred when Hiccup picker her up, chuckling. Using the new door, Hiccup entered her house and placed her on her bed. Slowly, Astrid realized what he had done. "Mmm.... Hiccup. Did... you just, walk through the wall?" She mumbled with half-closed eyes. He thought for a moment, then replied, "Kind of." Accepting this, she settled further into her bed while that soaked in. And Hiccup waited for it, picking pieces of star off her.
Sure enough, after a few minutes, she blinked and sat up. Looking at him as best as she could through exhausted eyes, she asked, "What?" Ignoring the question, Hiccup asked, "Why were you drinking so much last night?" She grinned and lay back down mumbling "Oh I beat Snotlout. I sure did. A contest. He challenged me." Laughing quietly, she forced herself to wake up a little bit further. "So what are you doing here Hiccup?"
"You promised me a early morning flight, remember?"
She nodded. "Okay. Just a moment, let me figure a few things out." She looked at herself. "What is with all this straw?"
"Oh, Heheh. I will tell you later, it is a longer story."
"Okay, why don’t you let me get cleaned up a bit."
"Alright. I'll be waiting." Hiccup bowed and left the house to wait outside with the dragons.
In a few minutes, Astrid came out looking a bit more clean, having brushed all the straw off. Yawning, she climbed aboard Stormfly. "Race you." She took off.
"What?" Hiccup quickly took off and followed her. "Where are we going?"
"You'll see!" Astrid said, smiling.

In a short time they reached the sunken pond where Hiccup had made friends with Toothless, and where Astrid had really met them both. "Okay, Hiccup. I demand the full story."
"What? The full story of what?"
"You know. How were you awake so early this morning? Where were you actually taking Stormfly last night?"
"Uhh... you remember that?"
"Of course I do. Also, why did I have a bunch of straw all over be this morning?"
"Uh, well, when I was taking Stormfly out last night to stretch, and we met you coming back, well... uhh you fell over weird, and Stormfly took care of you like a young nadder. Tucked you under her wing and everything."
Astrid laughed, patting her dragon's neck. "Thanks girl. I do suppose I had a little too much mead last night. But," She looked at Hiccup. "why didn't you join in the celebrations after the speech?"
"Oh, that. Well... uh, I was busy doing other stuff. Good job on the decorations of your house." He changed the subject uncomfortably. She didn't buy it, but she didn't bother him about it.
She walked up and punched him in the arm. "As long as you don't go trying to kill yourself again. Let's go get a good view of the sunrise." Hiccup nodded.
"I know just the place." Leading the way, Hiccup flew to a small cove he had found a few days before on the east side of the island. It was a clear morning, and they could see well as the sky turned from pink to orange, then so bright they could no longer see.

After a short while, Hiccup broke the silence. "Astrid, what do you think is going to happen next?"
"What do you mean, Hiccup?" The name rolled off her tongue easily, compared to just over a year ago when saying it would have been as hard as cursing.
"Well, this is almost as important as a new year. I mean, yesterday was the anniversary of the day that changed the lives of everyone on Berk. It is as significant as though we had started a whole new year again. Will anything special happen now, like last year?"
Astrid thought carefully a bit before answering. "What would you want to happen? It isn't like Snotlout is bugging us right now, or that is what I would try to change. But nothing else comes to mind, aside from finding even more new dragons."
"I guess you are right. Life is almost perfect right now."
"Could it get any better?"
"Yeah. Just wait." He grinned and jumped onto Toothless, who had come at his hand-signal.
"What?"
"Follow me." Toothless rocketed into the air, with Stormfly close behind.
As they approached the village, Hiccup spoke again. "Remember you asked me if I had walked through the wall?"
Remembering, Astrid replied, "Yeah. My mind is foggy though. Did you really?"
"Sort of." They landed at Astrid's house. Hiccup smiled. "I lied a lot to you earlier."
"I knew it!" Astrid shot at him with a glare.
"I know. Sorry. But, it was for a good reason. I wanted this to remain a surprise." Hopping off Toothless, Hiccup walked into the stable, beckoning to Astrid. "Well, M'lady, here is a gift. Now it should be a little easier to spend time with Stormfly."
He pulled the small rope hanging from a pulley on the roof. The door swung upwards.
Astrid was speechless. She knew Hiccup had been up to something.
Hiccup read her pretty easily. "I wasn't really giving Stormfly exercise and all, I was walking her back from my house. She stayed with Toothless while me and Gobber built this for you."
Astrid just looked at him, and tried the pulley for herself. They went inside. That's when she tackled him. They tripped across the bed, and Hiccup couldn't keep his balance with Astrid pinning his arms to his side. "Hey woah! You do need a softer bed!" He exclaimed as Astrid pulled him to his feet, his back popping. Astrid just laughed. Calling Stormfly, she showed her the new door. The dragon immediately caught on to the idea. They soon found that it was harder to get her off of it. Astrid and Hiccup just laughed as Toothless became curious with it too. They would be playing with it for a while.
Astrid finally found her voice. "It's amazing, Hiccup!" But, that was all she could say. And Hiccup couldn't brace himself in time.

An Unknown Pevensie: And that is all of that part.
Kristi: I had to switch to mobile and am having trouble reading it all here. But so far I'd suggest you read it over and make sure you stay in past tense. You slipped a few times
An Unknown Pevensie: huh?
Kristi: Though I would use "she wondered where he had gone" instead of "where he went"
An Unknown Pevensie: Oh.
Kristi: You slipped into present tense
An Unknown Pevensie: I am not a grammar Nazi yet. XD
Kristi: Did you want us to be grammar Nazis?
An Unknown Pevensie: No, please.
Sir-Edward: smiley-lol
Kristi: No, please what?
Kristi: Please don't be grammar Nazis or please do ?
An Unknown Pevensie: No please don't.
An Unknown Pevensie: Like the story?
Kristi: As far as I got, yes
Sir-Edward: indeed
Ariel.of.Narnia: now that I finally managed to read it...
An Unknown Pevensie: smiley
An Unknown Pevensie: Sorry
Ariel.of.Narnia: it feels fairly "slice of life", which is nice, 'cause most fics I read are... not. :P
Ariel.of.Narnia: I second Kristi's suggestion on combing through it for things like spelling, grammar, and consistency.
An Unknown Pevensie: Good.
An Unknown Pevensie: Okay, yeah.
An Unknown Pevensie: About that..... I am not good at that. At all.
An Unknown Pevensie: So... I have a loooot more if you really like this.
An Unknown Pevensie: Or not, if you want someone else to take a turn
Ariel.of.Narnia: and I guess the last thing would be that there are some parts where the descriptions of stuff either runs on or isn't clear, like installing the door. I might just be tired too, but that part only half-registered.
Ariel.of.Narnia: Ooh, I did like that bit with Stormfly carrying Astrid off and keeping her warm!
Ariel.of.Narnia: and Hiccup's dialogue sounded pretty accurate. "Yeah... ah what?"
Kristi: Gobber isn't a Viking?
An Unknown Pevensie: Sure he is..........
An Unknown Pevensie: @ Ariel: XD Good.
Kristi: Then why does he have a different accent?
An Unknown Pevensie: I am not too sure what to do about it.
Ariel.of.Narnia: @Kristi: for some reason, only the adults have accents, if that's what's tripping you up about Gobber
An Unknown Pevensie: @Kristi: Uhh.. well only Stoick and Gobber actually have Viking accents, really.
Kristi: I'm just thinking aloud...yeah, I know Stoick has one and Hiccup doesn’t
Kristi: So it might be weird if Hiccup noticed his Dad's accent...so...maybe a similar word, to indicate his distinct voice? Just a thought
Kristi: Astrid: Foolish Californian. We inherit our accents when we turn thirty.
An Unknown Pevensie: @Kristi: Yeah actually. I should figure out where to do that.
An Unknown Pevensie: XD
Kristi: What I've read seems good. I didn't quite understand why they were decorating the houses… I wasn't even sure if they might be gingerbread houses for a bit there
Ariel.of.Narnia: So far as the run-on/unclear parts, it's just a matter of smoothing things out, tightening others (eg: is there more concise way of putting this thought into words?), and using "strong" nouns and verbs (eg: use nouns and verbs that are in themselves descriptive, such as "tiptoeing" or "sneaking" instead of "walking quietly". it's just something in writing we all have to deal with.
Ariel.of.Narnia: but again, I did like the "slice of life" feel you have happening.
An Unknown Pevensie: @Kristi: Oh, I might not have put in the part that mentioned the house decorating contests.
An Unknown Pevensie: @Ariel: Yeah, I know sorta what you mean, but I wasn't intent on using it here as I was focused on making it HTTYD-style.
An Unknown Pevensie: Thanks. I like writing it better.
Kristi: Oh, that's ok then
An Unknown Pevensie: smiley
Kristi: Though if Hiccup touched something I just built without my permission I might murder him
Kristi: But what I see looks charming
An Unknown Pevensie: Good.
Ariel.of.Narnia: @Kristi: ha! Point. Especially since this is Astrid we're talking about... :P
Kristi: Slice of life...if only there were fics with Jixton folding Vader's socks...
An Unknown Pevensie: ikr
Kristi: Well, you don't touch someone else's art. This is Verboten
Ariel.of.Narnia: nope
An Unknown Pevensie: And I gtg very very soon.
Ariel.of.Narnia: I think this is a good spot to dismiss writers' and call it a night, actually. it's quite late.
Ariel.of.Narnia: Thank ya'll for participating! Writers' dismissed!

~ Writer's Group dismissed ~
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Thank you, Hobbit!
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