 Crafts & Projects
Facts & Articles
Fan Creations
Humor
Narnian Games
Our Communities
Store
Teacher Resources
The Movie
 |
Things I Will Not Do When I am an Evil Narnian Overlord
|
1. I will not lead the t-r-r-r-ravellers to the city which is right next to where the next "sign" is located 2. I will NOT try to impress barbarian royalty, no matter how beautiful they are. 3. I will not wear green--so last season. 4. I will not allow myself to be planted like a tree. 5. I will keep my eyes open for hooks hanging on the wall. 6. I will not fire my nephew's nurse (just to have her raised from her deathbed later) only to hire a half-dwarf wise man, who will help said nephew overthrow me eventually. 7. I will not attempt to use a donkey as my henchman. 8. I will not anger mice with swords. 9. I will not wave my rather brittle greatest weapon in front of a nine year old with a sword. 10. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps. 11. I will not scream "The wrath of Tash falls from above!" as it opens me up to the mockery of irritating young princes. 12. I will not eat a magical fruit before finding out whether I am likely to have an allergic reaction to it, even if it can grant immortality. 13. I will not kill my brother and steal the throne from my nephew. It reminds everyone of Hamlet, and I'll just end up dead anyway. 14. I will not leave all my victims sitting around as stone. Disposing of them permanently makes it far less likely that they'll come back to life and defeat my army. 15. I will not hold counsels with a monkey. 16. I will not dress a donkey in a lion's skin. Someone is bound to figure it out eventually. 17. I will not give the Prince I've enchanted an hour of unenchantment.. even if he is tied to a chair 18. I will NOT anger Aslan or Tash. The results are humiliating and painful. - Prince Rabadash and Rishda Tarkaan (Calormenes. Honestly.) 19. I will not go to sleep while a bracelet is on my arm, and while thinking dragonish thoughts. 20. I will not cut down talking trees 21. I will not insult Aslan or Tash - both have dire (and embarassing) consequences. Rabadash and Rishda - those Calormenes! 22. I will be sure to put some jagged rocks or howling winds inside my isle of darkness. 23. I will not go chasing after a Human prisoner myself. That's why I have the secret police, so I can stay at home warm in my ice palace. 24. I will not yell at my nephew to get over here and give me the magic rings because the ruler of the country he found with said rings is ruled by a lion who could easily eat me. 25. I Will NOT go to Harfang again, even if it means not warm baths OR hot meals. 26. I will not put tacky oversized jewelry on my upper arm, then go to sleep in a dragon's cave with dragon's treasure while thinking dragonish thoughts, then wake up with a large pain in my arm, only to realize that I have turned into a dragon that can't wri 27. ^te. -Christabelle of Felimath (#27) 28. I will not whip a talking horse right in front of a unicorn and a man who is dressed in Narnian clothes. 29. I will not hop over walls into sacred gardens, or eat the fruit found in there... thats minion's work! 30. I will not forget my whip 31. I will not let my subjects know anything about the SECRET police, seriously what is the point of having a secret police force if everyone knows about them. ~Rick 32. I will not keep one human around to kill the other three, when the problem could be solved by just killing one!! 33. I will not use the Stone Table for its intended purpose. It will only backfire. 34. i will not call cousins (who used to be king and queen) balmy 35. i will not steal water at night while on board the king of Narnia's ship 36. I will not talk to the king of Narnia about the British Counsel without knowing what it is 37. I will not be a wet blanket on ANY trip! -Queen Su 38. I will not step into a pie at Harfang!!! 39. I will not eat Talking Narnians... 40. I will NOT talk to White STRANGERS!!! 41. befor kidnapping anyone I will make sure that he is not the king. 42. I will not kidnap that the king!! 43. I will turn my castle to stone before I let it melt. 44. I will not leave my foot hanging when I am in a tree and a wolf is trying to attack me. 45. I will not allow Marshwiggles near my oh-so-magical fireplace while I am in the middle of enchanting their friends 46. I will always check behind furiture before discussing seacret plans 47. I will not have secret conversations with a cat when dwarves might be lurking about. 48. i will not leave my enchanted prince alone 49. I will not leave recipe books lying around to warn the ingredients of my Autumn Feast what I have in store for them. 50. I will not put a note on a faun's door after writing it with my paws (do you know how HARD it was for Peter to read that thing?) C. Shovel 51. I will not pretend that aslan's singing is just roaring. ~Uncle Andrew 52. I will not EVER put my plans in the charge of minions, becouse they are bound to screw it all up! 53. I will not have minions period. They are never trustworthy and if I can't use 'em why pay 'em? ~ Shorty 54. I will not turn worthless citizens into overlarged bookends, I don't even have any books! 55. I will not get my self turned into a donkey. XD 56. I will not turn people into stone and make it always winter but never christmas. ~ White Witch 57. I will not wear a sleevless dress (especially after I make it always winter). ~ Shorty 58. I will not bother to tame the Northern Giants; so long as they stay on thier property, who cares where they live? 59. I definately WILL NOT wear white after labor day. I don't care for green either. 60. I will not enchant a boy with Turkish Delight...chocolate is a much better way to go...plus its actually healthier 61. I will not leave the Castle of Cair Paravel standing, especially since I could always turn it into a much more attractive ice-encrusted ruin. 62. I will not turn people into stone, instead I'll give them ice cream and leave them alone. 63. I will not insult or make threats against the High King of Narnia when there is a girl listening in the room who is going there and could tell him. That guy is good with a sword. 64. I will not try to marry Queen Susan 65. I will not pull tails, especially if they have sharp pointy objects and an inflamed sense of honor 66. I will NOT let Edmund go... He's bound to screw it all up... ---- Narnia Nut 67. I will not boast about ships that I have when really I know nothing about them 68. I will not suddenly have a son a plot out to kill my nephew who might, just might, plot out to kill me. -othia 69. I will not make it always winter. Can you imagine the heating bills? ~ Irisflower 70. I will not just stand there when peter looks at aslan. I WILL KILL HIM!!!! 71. I will not jump off a box outside the castle Anvard shouting: "The bolt of Tash falls from above!". I will only be made into a donkey for my pains. 72. I WILL always be certain i understand the deep magic before i mess with it. 73. I will not permit any certain sharpshooting queens to invade my country and kill my guards while they are drowning a dangerous renegade. 74. I will not allow any lords dispose of dangerous renegade dwarves personally. Seriously. What's my army for? 75. I will post a constant guard on all former palaces of any former kings and queens. 76. I will not tell all my secrets, all my powers, to two insignificant little children, neither of whom have the mark of royal or noble blood on them, and especially if those two children happen to possess magic stronger than mine. 77. I will make sure that I have a better weapon at hand than some dumb old lamppost stick. 78. I will fully learn and understand magic before unleashing my wraith upon my enemies._Riklionheart 79. I will not sleep when there´s something in your back, especially if it is a Lion 80. I will not deny that my enemies even exist. Really. It's quite embarassing to go your entire life to claim that there never was a high king and then have to explain to your men why you have to fight the nonexistent monarch. 81. I will NOT feed a boy sweets to turn him away from his family. 82. I will not grab onto a boy's ear to go through a teleportation device with him and a prissy little girl. lobes do not make good supports. 83. I will not take a pleasure ride through my kingdom which is run by WHITE reindeer and use some dwarf's hat to wipe Turkish Delight off a boy's mouth. 84. I will not try to convince a marshwiggle, two children, and a prince that there is no world besides mine; instead, I will kill them before they kill me. 85. I will not trust plans written by dwarves who wanted me killed in the first place. 86. I will not telll my little nephew and his girlfriend about deep, dark, magical things that my fairy godmother did for me, the rings, and the guina pigs. If I let my nephew's girlfriend pick out a ring of her choice, she could actually be wisked off somewh 87. I will not discuss palns with my father without checking to see if anyone is listning 88. I will not discuss plans with my father without checking to see if anyone is listning 89. I will not kidnap people without making sure they're not royalty. -Pug 90. I will NEVER kill someone close to Aslan. 91. I will not whip my raindeer. It makes me look cruel. ~ White Witch 92. I will not let my lords talk me into engaging in combat with the high king of Narnia whether he is a nursery tale or not. ~Miraz 93. I will not wiggle my ears and grin funny. your face could get stuck that way, you know, princey. -Clodsley Shovel 94. I will not put a magical bracelette on my arm just to turn into a dragon later and have it cut off my cirulation later 95. I won't just sit there while that froggy thing stamps out my fire. I WILL actually turn his veins to fire! *Laughs like a little girl* He he he he te he! 96. I won't try to kill Edmund. I will use him for my army. However, he'll just keep on asking me for large quantities of enchanted jelly-like candy. ~Olivia 97. I will kill the boy Edmund before he has a chance to escape, or break my wand...actually, maybe I'll just turn him into a statue. It worked before. ~Caspian 98. I will not allow ships in my country, in which large festive party/escape plans can happen. 99. I will not send seven men away on pointless quests. They're bound to suspect something's up. 100. I will not wait for days on end to have human pie. Those humans are always running away! 101. I will not let Prince Rilian have any time that he is sane. It is better to make him always enchanted. That way he will never escape! (evil laugh with hiss) 102. I will not waste a perectly good silver chair on a prince who will eventually destroy it. 103. I will not point (at puddleglum) and scream "Oh! The horrid thing! It's alive!". We're just going to eat him anyways. ~Olivia 104. I will not make a plan that relies on a little boy stuffed with candy making a trek into the valley. Too many things can go wrong! ~Fireflower 105. I will not tease a dragon, even if it looks dead. It might possibly NOT be dead and EAT ME! (Eustace) ~Olivia 106. I will not let my simpelton advisors trick me into fighting the 1000-plus year old High King of Narnia (because I know I'd win anyway) -Pocketses 107. I will not trust two men that stare/wink at each other all the time... 108. I will not send an army of my people after a kid. Especially my nephew. 109. I will not leave the door unlocked after I have an unenchanted Narnian prince bound to a chair. 110. I will not sleep in a room WITH NO GUARDS when my nephew is on the run. 111. I will not be so dumb as to jump onto a future king's sword and get myself killed. (I'm talking to you, movie maugrim!) 112. I will not try and kill the future High King's younger brother or sisters(I don't want to face his wrath) ~LuEdLuvr 113. I will not be dumb enough to jump on a future kings sword. (I'm talking bout you movie morgrim...) 114. 147. I will not turn people to stone. It only makes them more hungry when they're turned back into people. 115. 148. I will not keep my ice castle unoccupied during the spring. 116. I will not suggest to Digory that he should leave his friend behind and escape. 117. I will not turn this into a chat list. hehe :-)~Quick Bow&Arrow 118. I will not make little boys eat some kind of magical fruits(Digory), candies(Edmund) ect. That idea has already been used twice. Those clever kids might suspect something afterwards. ~ Olivia 119. I will NOT enter a dragon's cave... 120. I will NOT EAT harfang food! 121. I will not give delicious turkish delight to a boy that will just destroy my magic wand. 122. I will DEFINITLY NOT go after peter when he has a sword and he's angry, it is a severe head risk. 123. I will NOT mess with a talking mouse and wound it when it will just be raised afterwards. (no making fun of the tail and doing stuff to it) 124. I will not let a lost lord say to my future prisioners that the isle of darkness makes nightmares come true--- I'll just put a spell on the lord of narnia and have him say that travelocity diddn't pay the electric bill again. (plus, free quava smoothie ea 125. * #136 Continued* ch time you get freaked out!) 126. I will not lose my temper when Edmund asks for more Turkish Delight. It's bad for my image. 127. I will not make a enchanted chair out of silver, it's way too expensive. Princey will eventually destroy it anyways, so I'll use wood instead. ~ Olivia 128. I will not call my cousin Edmund anything mean(Lucy wasn't called anything mean because she offered her water to Eustace.) Because all his fans will be very mad and probably draw a mustache on my picture the next page. ~ Olivia 129. I will not make a scene by hijacking a london cab 130. I will not take suggestions from Aslan (such as killing him) because he always understands the situation better 131. I will not call on Tash even if I don't think he exist - Last King of Narnia 132. I will not kill a talking untame lion in the place of a true traitor. That just has 'backfire' written all over it. 133. Tisroc: I will lock the secret water door next time... -LC 134. Miraz: I will not fail to chop down all the mystical forest in my kingdom so we don't have to worry about enemies lurking in it... could use extra firewood anyway. -LC 135. White Witch: I will not fail to build a bridge over the big river so I don't have to, when chasing renegade humans, get to it and look miffed because there's no way across (since the ice has so inconveniently melted)... -LC 136. Nikabrik: Next time, I'm not hiring a hag and a werewolf... It usually ends with me getting bumped off. -LC 137. Green Witch: I will not kidnap a prince and try to use him to take over other lands. I'm not sure why I ever thought I needed him in the first place... -LC 138. I will not turn this into a chat list. hehe :-)~Quick Bow&Arrow 139. I will not eat a sandwhich made of "some kind of paste" 140. I will not utter the deplorable word 141. I will not try to bomb the future monarchs of a magical country. It might make them stronger! 142. I will not laugh at someone being turned into a tree 143. I will not put up with humans from another world, unenchanted princes, and marsh-wiggles in my underground city. Also, I will not allow silver chairs in my kingdom.~Someone Else 144. Jadis: I will think long and hard about the implications of the Deplorable Word before I use it... such as being very lonely for a long, long time, and finding it necessary to freeze myself until someone comes along and hits a little golden bell with a li 145. ttle golden hammer... -LC 146. Uncle Andrew: I will not mess about with magic again... it turns one's hair grey, apparently, and causes one's nephew to babble nonsensically about "talking animals." -LC 147. Rabadash: I will not base my entire strategy on whether or not a city's gates might be left open. And then if they are, inexplicably, closed because someone was spying on my secret, evil scheming and got there first to warn the city's denizens, I will not 148. attempt to storm their city with 200 men... LC 149. I will not kill my brother (but leave my nephew alive so he can find out and extract revenge against me) so I can become King. It is bound to backfire somewhere along the line. 150. I will not disbelieve in Old Narnia, especially after I have seen the proof with my own eyes. Nor will I have men whom I do not trust unequivocally watch my back. 151. I will not rely on magic to keep the land in eternal winter - it will only cause transportation troubles later. Instead, I will come up with transportation for all types of weather. 152. i Will not let what my general and my adviser say get under my skin - Miraz 153. I NEVER will try to kill Aslan when he is in Battle. 154. I will not make myself at home with a human... 155. I will not always make it winter because I LOVE summer. (swimming!) 156. I will not kidnap the king of Narnia or his friends (two of whom were actually ancient rulers of Narnia) too many things could backfire!!! ~ unicorn girl 157. i will not get rid of my nephew's nurse just cuz she told him about old narnia it just leads to suspision ~ miraz the stupid 158. I will not make some one feel bad after I beat them at an archery contest. 159. I just won't bother with the Evil Overlord bit unless I have a signed contract from the author saying that I will win, witnessed by at least six lawyers. 160. I will not anger Aslan 161. I will not become an evil Narnia Overlord in the first place!!! ARG! -Fireflower 162. I will not fight with the pevensies after they rescued me from telmarines |
Add an overlord 'Will Not.'
Narnia News
