Narnian Credit Card Commercials – Writing Contest #44

You’ve probably seen those Mastercard credit card commercials – they’re priceless, after all. Time to put a Narnian spin on them. List a few things you could possibly buy, and a likely price… and then something priceless. Keep ’em Narnian, and we’ll see what money /can’t/ buy you in Narnia.

Crown made of icicles: $24 Wand that turns others to stone: $57 Giant spooky castle made of ice: A couple thousand Watching it all melt as Aslan brings spring: Priceless.

Honorable Mentions

Calorcard by Pocketses
Shoes curling up at the toe: 50$
Jewel-encrusted scimitar: 345$
Vizier That Will Allow you to Kick Him: 576.50
Seeing a Calormene prince get turned into a donkey: Priceless
There’s thing’s money can’t buy, but then there’s Calorcard.

Eternal Life by Jackie Lewis
Lion-skin costume: $58
Weapons and armor for three humans, a unicorn, an eagle, a donkey and a dwarf: $375
Stable door to another world: $700,000
Eternal life in Aslan’s Country: priceless.

There are some things money can’t buy. For everything else, there’s MasterCard.

HHB by Terb
Price of Shasta as bargained by Arsheesh and Rishda Tarkaan: 40 crescents
Price on the head of a thief who steals a war-horse like Bree: 510 crescents
Price of the products of the fruiterers and the sweetmeat sellers and the wine merchants for the pretend-party at Splendour Hyacine: 2,240 crescents
Seeing Rabadash change into a donkey in front of your own eyes: Priceless.

Lucy by Ramandu’s Daughter
Cricket set: $50
Authentic 1940’s clothes: $120
Replacing the Profesor’s window: $1100
Seeing the look on my siblings faces when they step into Narnia: Priceless

Caspian by Narnian Angel
Horse: $350
Fireworks: $28
Fake forest: $10,000
Wacthing Ben Barnes hit his head on a tree branch: Priceless.

Some things you can’t buy. for everything else there’s Narniacard

Magician’s Nephew by Sir Arieh
London row house: £1,300

Green and yellow rings: £65

Cab ride: £0.75

Experiencing Narnias creation and hearing Aslan’s song: Priceless

On fashion by bism
Gem encrusted turban: small fortune
pointy calormen shoes: 15 crescents
fashionable veil: 6 crescents
Not giving two hoots what you wear in narnia: worthless, er I mean priceless

What is Past by Anastasia
A wooden door frame: $26
A golden key: $245
Treatment for frostbitten hands: $472
Closing the door on what lies dead and frozen: Priceless

Dragoned by Some Narnian
Island with a Dragon’s cave~20,000 Narnian Lions
Pile of Dragon’s booty~2,000 Narnian Lions
A lost Lord’s armband~200 Narnian Lions
Getting undragoned~Priceless

Narnian Credit Card Commercials by ~Lady Liln~
Umbrella: $23
Several brown paper parcels: $37
Red wool scarf: $14
Meeting a Daughter of Eve from the far land of Spare Oom where eternal summer reigns around the bright city of War Drobe and taking her to your cave for tea: Priceless

Snowball fight by Lyrical
Fur coats: $50
Wardrobe: $1500
Mothballs: $5
Beating your siblings in a snowball fight: Priceless.

Lucy’s Gifts by Lenore
Rather large fur coat: $500
A dagger with belt: $35
A small vial of healing ointment: $500,000
The heart to see Aslan and follow him: priceless

“I Want MyTLC” by Dearheart
Laptop: $1200
AntiVirus protection: $40
Comfortable chair: $100
Going online to hugtackle my friends at TLC: Priceless 🙂

The Four by Jackie Lewis
A gold and silver sword that kills wolves: $1150
An ivory horn that always brings help: $2140
A diamond bottle with healing cordial: $3800
Getting your brother back: priceless

There are some things money can’t buy; for everything else, there’s MasterCard.

Freedom from Darkness by Jackie Lewis
A magical lute and powder that make sweet sound and scent: $679
A suit of black armor that hides your identity: $1090
An enchanted silver chair that keeps you trapped for an hour every day: $4000
Being freed from the clutches of the Queen of the Underland by two children and a Marshwiggle: priceless.

There are some things money can’t buy; for everything else, there’s MasterCard.

Voyage by Pomona
Large Narnian ship: thousands
Enough supplies for a year and a day: thousands more
Traveling with Eustace: all your patience
Seeing the End of the World: priceless

For the love of costume designers! by Dancing Dryad
Exotic fabric from India: $1,500
Handmade chainmail from Turkey: $3,000
Spraying orange soda ALL OVER this newly-made costume as an /innocent/ prank: Priceless

Narnia: It’s everywhere you want to be! by Deannalyn
Train tickets to English countryside: $50. Horse drawn carriage (without annoying housekeeper): $200. Tudor style house on English countryside (with funny old professor): $500,000. Antique wardrobe with elaborate wood carvings, $500. Entering the magical world of Narnia: Priceless!

Seafarer by Gwydion
Expenses for ship-making: fifty Lions.
Purple dye on the sails, just because: forty-eight Trees.
Enough arms for the entire crew: twenty-five Lions.
Watching Eustace break my second-best sword doing something heroic: absolutely pricless. Unless you count the price of the sword, which was, by the way, thirty Trees.

movie by ChabeMica
Taxi from home to the theatre: $10
Movie tickets for you and your friends: $12
Pop-corn for everyone: $18
Watching Aslan roar in the big screen: Priceless.

and the winner

Alberta and Harold Scrubb by Lirenel
Books on raising “very up-do date and advanced” children: $35
Special kinds of underclothes: $20
Tuition to the Experiment House for superior education: $4,500
Realizing your son believes in flat worlds and talking lions like his commonplace and tiresome cousins: priceless


Don’t forget to check out the winners of the last .