Evil Overlord List

1. I will not lead the t-r-r-r-ravellers to the city which is right next to where the next “sign” is located

2. I will NOT try to impress barbarian royalty, no matter how beautiful they are.

3. I will not wear green–so last season.

4. I will not allow myself to be planted like a tree.

5. I will keep my eyes open for hooks hanging on the wall.

6. I will not fire my nephew’s nurse (just to have her raised from her deathbed later) only to hire a half-dwarf wise man, who will help said nephew overthrow me eventually.

7. I will not attempt to use a donkey as my henchman.

8. I will not anger mice with swords.

9. I will not wave my rather brittle greatest weapon in front of a nine year old with a sword.

10. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.

11. I will not scream “The wrath of Tash falls from above!” as it opens me up to the mockery of irritating young princes.

12. I will not eat a magical fruit before finding out whether I am likely to have an allergic reaction to it, even if it can grant immortality.

13. I will not kill my brother and steal the throne from my nephew. It reminds everyone of Hamlet, and I’ll just end up dead anyway.

14. I will not leave all my victims sitting around as stone. Disposing of them permanently makes it far less likely that they’ll come back to life and defeat my army.

15. I will not hold counsels with a monkey.

16. I will not dress a donkey in a lion’s skin. Someone is bound to figure it out eventually.

17. I will not give the Prince I’ve enchanted an hour of unenchantment.. even if he is tied to a chair

18. I will NOT anger Aslan or Tash. The results are humiliating and painful. – Prince Rabadash and Rishda Tarkaan (Calormenes. Honestly.)

19. I will not go to sleep while a bracelet is on my arm, and while thinking dragonish thoughts.

20. I will not cut down talking trees

21. I will be sure to put some jagged rocks or howling winds inside my isle of darkness.

22. I will not go chasing after a Human prisoner myself. That’s why I have the secret police, so I can stay at home warm in my ice palace.

23. I will not yell at my nephew to get over here and give me the magic rings because the ruler of the country he found with said rings is ruled by a lion who could easily eat me.

24. I Will NOT go to Harfang again, even if it means not warm baths OR hot meals.

25. I will not whip a talking horse right in front of a unicorn and a man who is dressed in Narnian clothes.

26. I will not hop over walls into sacred gardens, or eat the fruit found in there… thats minion’s work!

27. I will not forget my whip

28. I will not keep one human around to kill the other three, when the problem could be solved by just killing one!!

29. I will not use the Stone Table for its intended purpose. It will only backfire.

30. I will not eat Talking Narnians…

31. I will not kidnap that the king!!

32. I will turn my castle to stone before I let it melt.

33. I will not leave my foot hanging when I am in a tree and a wolf is trying to attack me.

34. I will not hire underlings whose names I can not pronounce.

35. I will copy the entries on this list so that my heirs can learn from past Overlord’s mistakes. -Yeehaw

36. I will not use guinea pigs as my test subjects.

37. I will not not marry super hottie Skandar Keynes/Edmund

38. I will not leave the stone corpses of my enemies intact lest Aslan breaths life back into them and uses them as an army to defeat me.

39. I will not wait until I have a son to kill my nephew. Procrastinators never prosper. -Christabelle of Felimath

40. I will not send my minions out to drown my captive when I could just kill him with a sword in my castle

41. I will not pull the tail of talking Narnian mice until I am sure they are not quicker than me, and have no sword.

42. I will not allow my “friends” to shot me in the arm while i am duel king Peter.. i should have known better thna that….*sigh*- Ben_onegurl

43. I will not read every thing on this list. It never helps.

44. I will not allow Marshwiggles near my oh-so-magical fireplace while I am in the middle of enchanting their friends

45. I will always check behind furiture before discussing seacret plans

46. I will not have secret conversations with a cat when dwarves might be lurking about.

47. i will not leave my enchanted prince alone

48. I will not leave recipe books lying around to warn the ingredients of my Autumn Feast what I have in store for them.

49. I will not put a note on a faun’s door after writing it with my paws (do you know how HARD it was for Peter to read that thing?) C. Shovel

50. I will not pretend that aslan’s singing is just roaring. ~Uncle Andrew

51. I will not EVER put my plans in the charge of minions, becouse they are bound to screw it all up!

52. I will not have minions period. They are never trustworthy and if I can’t use ’em why pay ’em? ~ Shorty

53. I will not turn worthless citizens into overlarged bookends, I don’t even have any books!

54. I will not get my self turned into a donkey. XD

55. I will not turn people into stone and make it always winter but never christmas. ~ White Witch

56. I will not wear a sleevless dress (especially after I make it always winter). ~ Shorty

57. I will not bother to tame the Northern Giants; so long as they stay on thier property, who cares where they live?

58. I definately WILL NOT wear white after labor day. I don’t care for green either.

59. I will not enchant a boy with Turkish Delight…chocolate is a much better way to go…plus its actually healthier

60. I will not leave the Castle of Cair Paravel standing, especially since I could always turn it into a much more attractive ice-encrusted ruin.

61. I will not turn people into stone, instead I’ll give them ice cream and leave them alone.

62. I will not insult or make threats against the High King of Narnia when there is a girl listening in the room who is going there and could tell him. That guy is good with a sword.

63. I will not try to marry Queen Susan

64. I will not pull tails, especially if they have sharp pointy objects and an inflamed sense of honor

65. I will NOT let Edmund go… He’s bound to screw it all up… —- Narnia Nut

66. I will not boast about ships that I have when really I know nothing about them

67. I will not suddenly have a son a plot out to kill my nephew who might, just might, plot out to kill me. -othia

68. I will not make it always winter. Can you imagine the heating bills? ~ Irisflower

69. I will not just stand there when peter looks at aslan. I WILL KILL HIM!!!!

70. I will not jump off a box outside the castle Anvard shouting: “The bolt of Tash falls from above!”. I will only be made into a donkey for my pains.

71. I WILL always be certain i understand the deep magic before i mess with it.

72. I will not permit any certain sharpshooting queens to invade my country and kill my guards while they are drowning a dangerous renegade.

73. I will not allow any lords dispose of dangerous renegade dwarves personally. Seriously. What’s my army for?

74. I will post a constant guard on all former palaces of any former kings and queens.

75. I will not tell all my secrets, all my powers, to two insignificant little children, neither of whom have the mark of royal or noble blood on them, and especially if those two children happen to possess magic stronger than mine.

76. I will make sure that I have a better weapon at hand than some dumb old lamppost stick.

77. I will fully learn and understand magic before unleashing my wraith upon my enemies._Riklionheart

78. I will not sleep when there´s something in your back, especially if it is a Lion

79. I will not deny that my enemies even exist. Really. It’s quite embarassing to go your entire life to claim that there never was a high king and then have to explain to your men why you have to fight the nonexistent monarch.

80. I will NOT feed a boy sweets to turn him away from his family.

81. I will not grab onto a boy’s ear to go through a teleportation device with him and a prissy little girl. lobes do not make good supports.

82. I will not take a pleasure ride through my kingdom which is run by WHITE reindeer and use some dwarf’s hat to wipe Turkish Delight off a boy’s mouth.

83. I will not try to convince a marshwiggle, two children, and a prince that there is no world besides mine; instead, I will kill them before they kill me.

84. I will not trust plans written by dwarves who wanted me killed in the first place.

85. I will not telll my little nephew and his girlfriend about deep, dark, magical things that my fairy godmother did for me, the rings, and the guina pigs. If I let my nephew’s girlfriend pick out a ring of her choice, she could actually be wisked off somewh

86. I will not discuss palns with my father without checking to see if anyone is listning

87. I will not discuss plans with my father without checking to see if anyone is listning

88. I will not kidnap people without making sure they’re not royalty. -Pug

89. I will NEVER kill someone close to Aslan.

90. I will not whip my raindeer. It makes me look cruel. ~ White Witch

91. I will not let my lords talk me into engaging in combat with the high king of Narnia whether he is a nursery tale or not. ~Miraz

92. I will not wiggle my ears and grin funny. your face could get stuck that way, you know, princey. -Clodsley Shovel

93. I will not put a magical bracelette on my arm just to turn into a dragon later and have it cut off my cirulation later

94. I won’t just sit there while that froggy thing stamps out my fire. I WILL actually turn his veins to fire! *Laughs like a little girl* He he he he te he!

95. I won’t try to kill Edmund. I will use him for my army. However, he’ll just keep on asking me for large quantities of enchanted jelly-like candy. ~Olivia

96. I will kill the boy Edmund before he has a chance to escape, or break my wand…actually, maybe I’ll just turn him into a statue. It worked before. ~Caspian

97. I will not allow ships in my country, in which large festive party/escape plans can happen.

98. I will not send seven men away on pointless quests. They’re bound to suspect something’s up.

99. I will not wait for days on end to have human pie. Those humans are always running away!

100. I will not let Prince Rilian have any time that he is sane. It is better to make him always enchanted. That way he will never escape! (evil laugh with hiss)

101. I will not waste a perectly good silver chair on a prince who will eventually destroy it.

102. I will not point (at puddleglum) and scream “Oh! The horrid thing! It’s alive!”. We’re just going to eat him anyways. ~Olivia

103. I will not make a plan that relies on a little boy stuffed with candy making a trek into the valley. Too many things can go wrong! ~Fireflower

104. I will not tease a dragon, even if it looks dead. It might possibly NOT be dead and EAT ME! (Eustace) ~Olivia

105. I will not let my simpelton advisors trick me into fighting the 1000-plus year old High King of Narnia (because I know I’d win anyway) -Pocketses

106. I will not trust two men that stare/wink at each other all the time…

107. I will not send an army of my people after a kid. Especially my nephew.

108. I will not leave the door unlocked after I have an unenchanted Narnian prince bound to a chair.

109. I will not sleep in a room WITH NO GUARDS when my nephew is on the run.

110. I will not try and kill the future High King’s younger brother or sisters(I don’t want to face his wrath) ~LuEdLuvr

111. I will not suggest to Digory that he should leave his friend behind and escape.

112. I will not allow my “friends” to shot me in the arm while i am duel king Peter.. i should have known better thna that….*sigh*- Ben_onegurl

113. do not allow my “friends” to shot me in the arm while i am duel king Peter.. i should have known better thna that….*sigh*- Ben_onegurl

114. I will not obey mysterious ladies who accompany my nephew home from strange worlds. I’ll throw a magic ring at her and run away!

115. I will not make little boys eat some kind of magical fruits(Digory), candies(Edmund) ect. That idea has already been used twice. Those clever kids might suspect something afterwards. ~ Olivia

116. I will NOT EAT harfang food!

117. I will not give delicious turkish delight to a boy that will just destroy my magic wand.

118. I will DEFINITLY NOT go after peter when he has a sword and he’s angry, it is a severe head risk.

119. I will not lose my temper when Edmund asks for more Turkish Delight. It’s bad for my image.

120. I will not make a enchanted chair out of silver, it’s way too expensive. Princey will eventually destroy it anyways, so I’ll use wood instead. ~ Olivia

121. I will not call my cousin Edmund anything mean(Lucy wasn’t called anything mean because she offered her water to Eustace.) Because all his fans will be very mad and probably draw a mustache on my picture the next page. ~ Olivia

122. I will not make a scene by hijacking a london cab

123. I will not take suggestions from Aslan (such as killing him) because he always understands the situation better

124. I will not call on Tash even if I don’t think he exist – Last King of Narnia

125. I will not kill a talking untame lion in the place of a true traitor. That just has ‘backfire’ written all over it.

126. Tisroc: I will lock the secret water door next time… -LC

127. Miraz: I will not fail to chop down all the mystical forest in my kingdom so we don’t have to worry about enemies lurking in it… could use extra firewood anyway. -LC

128. White Witch: I will not fail to build a bridge over the big river so I don’t have to, when chasing renegade humans, get to it and look miffed because there’s no way across (since the ice has so inconveniently melted)… -LC

129. I will not utter the deplorable word

130. I will not put up with humans from another world, unenchanted princes, and marsh-wiggles in my underground city. Also, I will not allow silver chairs in my kingdom.~Someone Else

131. I’ll never ever ever give candy to children, at least if it is not magic candy called turkish delight.

132. I will not pull out of VDT when the last film made me $149 millon

133. I will not work for free with the white witch, I’m a wolf, my followers are wolves, we at least need a respectful pay….of chew toys and rubber bones. ~ Maugrim Head of the secret police. P.s. Olivia wrote this, It’s hard to write with paws.

134. I will not work for the White Witch, I and my followers are wolves, we deserve to be the boss, and we won’t take orders from anyone. And we need squeaky toys, no ruler can live without squeaky toys!!!!!!!! ~Maugrim, But I got that foolish girl Olivia to

135. I will not work for the White Witch, I and my followers are wolves, we deserve to be the boss, and we won’t take orders from anyone. And we need squeaky toys, no ruler can live without squeaky toys!!!!!!!! ~Maugrim, But I got that foolish girl Olivia to

136. I will not work for the White Witch, I and my followers are wolves, we deserve to be the boss, and we won’t take orders from anyone. And we need squeaky toys, no ruler can live without squeaky toys!!!!!!!! ~Maugrim, But I got that foolish girl Olivia to

137. I would kill High King Peter.

138. Uncle Andrew: I will not mess about with magic again… it turns one’s hair grey, apparently, and causes one’s nephew to babble nonsensically about “talking animals.” -LC

139. I will not kill my brother (but leave my nephew alive so he can find out and extract revenge against me) so I can become King. It is bound to backfire somewhere along the line.

140. I will not disbelieve in Old Narnia, especially after I have seen the proof with my own eyes. Nor will I have men whom I do not trust unequivocally watch my back.

141. I will not rely on magic to keep the land in eternal winter – it will only cause transportation troubles later. Instead, I will come up with transportation for all types of weather.

142. i Will not let what my general and my adviser say get under my skin – Miraz

143. I NEVER will try to kill Aslan when he is in Battle.

144. I will not make myself at home with a human…

145. I will not always make it winter because I LOVE summer. (swimming!)

146. I will not kidnap the king of Narnia or his friends (two of whom were actually ancient rulers of Narnia) too many things could backfire!!! ~ unicorn girl

147. i will not get rid of my nephew’s nurse just cuz she told him about old narnia it just leads to suspision ~ miraz the stupid

148. I will not make some one feel bad after I beat them at an archery contest.

149. I will not fight with the pevensies after they rescued me from telmarines

150. I will not build a castle out of ice… it will just melt and do me no good later

151. i willl not allow potential prophesised enemies live even when their innocent of their own destiny

152. I will not add anyone to my army whose name sounds like Gazelle

153. I will not sit around and watch a little animals have a party , I will just freez them them then and there. [white witch]

154. I will not mess with Aslan or think I know the Dark magic better that him

155. I will not dress up as Edmund to eat turkish delight from the witch to try to trick her into killing the real Edmund.

156. i will not drop Vodt (Aliea’s faveorit) on christmas eve, it would compleaty ruin her day (it did ruin her day), and it makes everyone want to boycott, girlcott, narniacott, dogcott, catcott and every other “cott” you can think of ~ Disney,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

157. I will not mix the names of gods to create “Tashaln”, it’s all nonsense and I’ll get caught anyway when I don’t know what he looks like!!! -NarniaRox!!!

158. I will not go over a hill and expect arcenland to be on the other side.

159. I will not become evil at all!

160. I will not become evil at all! ~Princess of Narnia, (You can see from my name why I wouldn’t want to.)

161. I will give the person that I am enchanting an hour to be sane. It only leads to problems. ~Princess of Narnia

162. I will not train my nephew, (who’s father I killed,) how to fight. Honestly, I could get killed when he finds out! ~Princess of Narnia

163. I will not throw my victims into a stable, they’re just going to end up in Aslan’s country! ~Princess of Narnia

164. I will not try to force queen susan to marry me as it can only end in failure and shame in the eyes of my father the tisroc (may he live for never) and my people ~ rabadash the ridiculous

165. I will not send the Dwarf I have just captured “to the ghosts”. I will just behead him. That way there is no chance of him escaping and meeting famous monarchs of the country I have invaded

166. I will not bring a lamppost bar into another world as my only weapon–magic wands wrok much better and instill fear into my future subjects.

167. I will not kill Aslan and then leave I will make sure there are people left near the stone table to keep an eye out for strange goings on

168. I will not take that *making people into statues course* instead of Deep Magic 101

169. I will not leave out my giant cookbook open to the page that details how to cook man.

170. I will not kill the said ruler of the country because he will come to life afterwards, and presumably eat me.

171. I will not throw a piece of heavy metal at someone who is stronger than me… and then run away.

172. I will not put myself in a situation that involves me getting eaten Giants…

173. I will not use a little kid to go find stuff out about what is in another world, because they will just bring back a huge woman with the intent of killing everyone.

174. I will not open a Box which I have promised to destroy

175. I will not grab polly, I will take her rings instead

176. I will not make my castle out of ice, even if I do make it always winter. Things could become quite messy–or, should I say, melty–if someone comes and breaks my spell.

177. I will not dabble in things I do not understand (or in evil things I do understand). Witches are bound to come out of them and the consequences they dole out are most severe. (Really, getting treated as a pet and almost planted by animals is quite humilia

178. I will not ask my sister for money to fund lunch with a witch my nephew and his friend have just bought back from another world

179. I will not waste my time trying to learn the deplorable word when I could just turn my sister to stone… -JADIS

180. I will not talk about ‘being higher than other mortals’, as this usually warns the said mortals that I am evil.

181. I will not try and convince a possibly king of Narnia to bring his brother and sisters to me when the prophecy can be stopped just by killing the one I have

182. I will not make deals with Hags.

183. Nor will I make deals with Werewolves

184. I will not have a secret service made up of wolves. I will use werewolves insted

185. I will not drop my funding for one of the most loved children’s books, VDT, first because I will lose it to someone else, and second because it will be better than the two others, according to critiques, because of a new director. ~Princess of Narnia

186. I will not twirl my sword over my head before I kill Peter. Aslan could get there first! ~Princess of Narnia

187. I will not go back to the old ways, bears do have a reputation to uphold, because they’ll only call Corin Thunder-fist on me. ~Princess of Narnia

188. Murder my brother to take the throne. Honestly, someone’s going to find out eventually. ~Rhindon

189. I will not allow slavery or forced marriages; they just make my best people run away North and join an enemy nation.

190. I will not eat silver apples, I will plant them instead

191. I will not make the prince I have kidnapped into a warrior minion, he will obviously turn on me.

192. I will not get mocked by the messenger king (edmund)

193. I will not let my generals talk me into fighting an enemy one-on-one rather than using my, like, twice-as-big army. ~Rhindon

194. I will not trust my potential ressurection to a angry dwarf, a hag and a werewolf. To many things can go wrong

195. I will not try to intimidate kings and queens by wiggleing my ears, they only find it funny

196. I will most definatly not try convince a marsh wiggle that the land he loves is a child’s game

197. I will not take over Narnia on my own. Instead I will form a group of four who will asist me and rule with me. If it worked for the Pevensies it will work for me

198. I will not shoot the Horses that are coming to help the good guys. It just makes the kids reading this book hate me. ~Gwydion

199. Before taking just anyone prisoner, I will check their blingage to make certain this person isn’t royalty. ~Gwydion

200. I will not coo children into thinking that the feast is FOR them… they will only learn later that it was OF them.

201. I will not duel King Peter, I will not duel King Peter, I will not duel even Queen Lucy.

202. I will not, and I mean not, say “May he live forever” after every time that I mention the Tisroc’s name! ~Princess of Narnia

203. I will not pawn my watch so that I can go out to lunch with someone, even a dem fine gel. ~Princess of Narnia

204. I will not stab Edmund in the gut with my wand, even if he did break it. He has an overprotective older brother who’ll get me killed eventually.

205. I will not make it always winter and never Christmas. It’s bad for my reputation.

206. I will not ring little bells that get louder and louder.

207. I wil NOT become a Narnian OVERLORD! (Maybe an Arcenland overlord…)

208. I WILL fear the woods

209. I will not spare the life of a man who breathes fire and has a pet martin with hornes, just so he could steal my henchmans keys.

210. I will not wear a crown made out of ice when aslan is coming and the sun is already out.

211. I will not try to kill my uncle, even though he did kill my father. Oh well, forget that!!! (chop!)

212. I will not name my donkey Puzzle.

213. I will not raid my friend’s uncle.

214. I will not give a drop of my blood to the witch. Especially with the dirtiest knife in the world. Not to imagine… the pain.

215. I will not try to enchant the Prince and his friends while there is a Marsh-wiggle in the room.

216. i will not stab a witch if she’s frozen

217. I will not eat apples until i feel sick.

218. I will not make Eustace angry

219. I will not, no, I will NEVER say there is such a thing as Tashlan, because that will get me into some serious trouble with Aslan (and we all know how dangerous that can be, seeing as there are 229 witneses above to Aslan’s fury) ~Ellababy~

220. I will not insult little mice running around with as-small-as-a-needle swords. ~Ellababy~

221. I will not insult Mice PERIOD. 🙂

222. I will not attempt to capture the enemy’s base if it has the word “Aslan” in it. (Aslan’s How). ~Gwydion

223. Miraz: I will not doubt the existence of High King Peter or his siblings. Or Aslan. Especially not Aslan~ LucyWannabe

224. Tisroc: I will not call Aslan a ” demon of hideous aspect”~ LucyWannabe

225. I will not associate with anyone whose name resembles in any manner the word “brick.” Ginarrbrik. Nikabrik. If I meet someone named Canabrik, I’ll scream.

226. I will not try to kill my nephew

227. I will not try to decide which shade of green goes best with my harp-like instrument while I should be watching over a hare-brained Prince.

228. i will not send the mrashwiggle and the children to a castle where they can see the third sign from a window

229. I will not leave my cookbook open when there are humans present, especially if it is open to an entry that says how to cook man

230. I will not try to pick on kids who have acess to other worlds

231. I WILL NEVER try to kill Aslan ever again!

232. I will not make fun of Aslan, even if I think he is turned to stone

233. I WILL NOT try to take over Achenland so that I can marry a “barbarian queen from Narnia

234. I will not dress a donkey up in lion’s skin – someone’s bound to find out

235. I will NOT try to trust General Glozelle – sleazy little jerk

236. I will not listen to Rishda Tarkaan – I mean, he just babbles nonsense

237. I will not claim that Aslan has come (when he hasn’t) to a centaur – he KNOWS whether Aslan is there or not.

238. I WILL NOT EVER, EVER, EVER try to conince a little boy to eat an apple after Aslan has told him NOT to eat it – those kids are tougher and smarter than they look

239. I will not eat Turkish Delight – especially if a very tall “queen” gave it to me

240. I will not stab people becouse I am ANGERY. I promise!

241. I will not try to hurt or even kill Aslan with a lamp-post bar – IT’S NOT GOING TO WORK!

242. I will try to conquer other worlds – someone’s bound to come along and conquer ME

243. Sorry. I mean, I will NOT try to conquer other worlds

244. I will not try to enchant the Prince and his friends while there is a Marsh-wiggle in the room…..

245. Kick Aslan in the shin.

246. I wil not under-estimate the powers of Aslan

247. I wil not under-estimate the powers of Aslan

248. Start a slave trade in my country, a duke could replace me!

249. I will not wait to kill my enemies in the proper place at the proper time (i.e. The Stone Table). Procrastination kills kingdoms!

250. I will not hang out with an Ape named Shift. I mean, honestly, just his name sounds…shifty…~Gwydion

251. I will not go after a Narinan ship, thinking that it is a free meal

252. I will not dress up in a lions skin

253. I will not hire Wolves to serve me, nor will I hire Gnomes or Telmarines whose names contain the word “soap.” ~Gwydion

254. I will not use the humor lists as a discussion board, lest I incur the potential wrath of the site staff

255. I will not eat turkish delight, PERIOd!

256. I WILL NOT KILL ASLAN!

257. I will not scare all the Old Narnians into hiding and then let my Narnian-loving nefhew get away to get together with the Old Narnians and overthrow me.

258. I will not sell a lordly-man’s friends as slaves – especially if the man who bought HIM used to be a high lord from Narnia

259. I will NOT try writing the narnia books without christian influence – NO ONE WILL BUY THEM!!!!!!!

260. I will not climb over the wall of a garden when I can use the gate…nor will I eat the fruit in the said garden without Aslan’s permission.

261. I will not go to the house of harfang, just to be fed TALKING stag and prepared to be eaten.

262. I will not tell the southerner children AND the Marsh-wiggle to go to the House of Harfang (just to get them out of the way so they won’t un-enchant Prince Rilian). They’ll get mad that I tried to get them eaten!

263. I Will Not try to get all the Pevensies (if you have one its good enough)

264. I will not do things so pathetically dumb (like starting a war because I wan’t to married to a queen of Narnia) that I get myself temporarily turned into a donkey.

265. I will not EVER stop going on this website!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Oh wait, that should be on the Addicted to Narnia list.)

266. I will not destroy everything living in my country – INCLUDING THE PLANTS! – so that I can get back at my sister. I mean, I could just turn her to stone. (Besides, if the people who woke me up later left me behind, I’d starve to death!).

267. I will not where dresses the color of poison – that just proves you’re a serpent and not a lady

268. I will not try to conduct a night raid even though a king or Queen of old says too. If the castle has never been taken before…it will just be crazy.

269. I will not kill my brother- his son is sure to find out, and he might have Queen Susan’s horn…

270. I will not try to kill a boy in silver armor after I have killed a random lion

271. I will not let marshwiggle enter my diminion~Lady of the Green Kirtle

272. I will not go to battle without knowing my subjects are loyal to me

273. i will not kill my own king, half the time, i end up dead too.

274. I will not be attracted to Narnian woman

275. i will not be attracted to king peter

276. I will not tell my orfaned (thanks to me) nephew to stop even THINKING about Narnia because it’s fake because a. It’s real and b. he’s not gonna stop thinking about it and I can’t read minds anyway so whaddo I care?~Penny Moon

277. I will not fight a swordsman half my age. When you are young you have more energy.

278. I WILL NOT do anything stupid(see above examples)

279. I will not go around saying things like “Ours is a high and lonley destiny,”– not a good way to make friends.~Penny Moon

280. I will not be extremely ugly and sinister while overlording Narnia– it makes the kids from other worlds think (correctly) that I’m evil. Instead, I will work out and wear a lot of makeup in case I am ugly and sinister-looking.~Penny Moon

281. I will not hire nice fawns to kidnap children of Adam and Eve because if they come across a nice girl who discovers their secret they might help her escape.~Penny Moon

282. I will not get too near any lions– just in case.~Penny Moon

283. I will not hire a donkey to do my evil deeds. If you want the job done right, you do it yourself.

284. I will not eat silver apples, even in apple pie

285. I WILL NOT try to use a foolish little 10 year old boy for my personal ‘tool’. I mean, those things are so flexable

286. I will not recite poems over and over again when my ruler is an impatient freak.

287. I will not turn Mr.Beaver into a hat again. I Promised Aslan

288. I will tie up a cat if it tryys to eat me.

289. I Will not have two Lords whose names sound like Sloppy and Gazelle.

290. I will not Allow a Marsh-Wiggle to trot past me and stomp out a fire that is hypnotizing my guests so they will agree with everything I say

291. I will not fail to change my name if I am an evil old baboon and my name is Shift. (VERY sinister sounding name.)~Penny Moon

292. I will not slap a dwarf, because they are not vermin.

293. I will not get in the way of my nephew next time he decides he wants his throne back, it could have some deathly effects.

294. I will not take over Narnia if I happen to be evil.~Susan Amidala

295. My cookbook will not have a recipie for men and then let 2 kids and a marshwiggle hang out in my kitchen~Susan Amidala

296. I will not kill any talking stag because the kids and marshwiggle from above might get served it.~Susan Amidala

297. I will not take over Narnia; Whether I’m the Witch of the Green Kirdle, the White Witch, a Telmarine, a Calormene it doesn’t matter. I WON’T take over Narnia!~C.S. Lewis kid

298. I will not learn any spells with names like the Deplorable Word.~Susan Amidala

299. I will Not wander around narnia after a century of being there!

300. I will not try to sing a Marshwiggle into a trance because Marshwiggles tend to remember things a little too well.

301. I will not make a coat out of Aslan’s mane.~Susan Amidala

302. I will not fail to read the Deep Magic all the way through.~Susan Amidala

303. I will not go around the cape looking for my captives when they have just escaped.-oh my father and oh the delight of my eyes, you have utterly destroyed me!

304. I will not throw a brick at the computer if it is being slow and not letting me do stuff on this site!!!!!!!(Note to self: actually do this.)~Skye Penderwick

305. I will not allow myself to be stuck to a wall and be transformed to a donkey

306. I will not mention anything at all about the bolt of Tash.

307. I will not be Evil.The Good always get their own ways.

308. I will not wait to have a son to kill my nephew. By the time I have one, my nephew will be old enough to kill me instead. (Miraz, WHAT were you thinkink??)

309. I will not jump into a pool untested…because if I don’t, I might turn to gold,

310. I will not go over to a wall that says not to break in and take something for myself…then break in anyway and eat a magic apple.~Scooby Doo

311. I will try (just try) not to forget the Deep Magic (it’s never gonna work, I know).

312. i will not be mean to future narnian kings; they might destroy me when they get older

313. i will make out with hot guys NOT try to destroy them ; ).~peter_so_cute

314. I will not use the deplorable word and be by myself in an empty world with no other world to rule over and destroy.

315. I will not hold top secret meetings in a room where it is possible that two girls can be hiding behind a sofa listning to every word of my evil plot.

316. I will not ride into tree branches.

317. I will not say um… that word… was it the… Dependable Word? Destrustable Word? Despauraux Word? Oh, bother….

318. I will not keep a son of adam alive just to have the other three stay in narnia( if i wanted to stop the prophecy from happening, i would just kill the one i have).

319. I will not come back in a block of ice after Aslan gets rid of me, just to have Edmund stab me in the back, and get rid of me again.

320. I will not try and send my nephew and his friend into a world I know nothing about.(well the guinea pigs could keep them company). =)

321. I will try and remember how to write so that I can tell my friends what has happened to me (even if I AM a dragon. Poor old me).

322. I will not whack boys who say that Narnia stinks.~Skye Penderwic

323. I will not come in contact with MarySus.

324. i will not have a chairiot pulled by polar bears some times u may get stuck on a rock

325. I will not let centaurs jump at me with swords, it’s hazardous to my health.

326. I will not assume that Aslan is dead when there is a desperate battle raging and I am commanding it. ~Lucy Skywalker

327. I will stay away from anyone whose name is Mary Sue. ~Lucy Skywalker

328. I will not call my steed ‘horsey’. He might have a name…

329. I will not speak in a fake sounding Spanish accent, no matter how ‘hawt’ the fangirls think it is. It would do no good to escape the evil clutches of my uncle only to be attacked by canon fans…

330. I will not stick my tongue out at Aslan

331. I will not eat any stag in Harfang… (yuck!! ..its just so gross)

332. I will not go into a desert barefoot

333. I will not get any cocky ideas about Killing Aslan (hint hint, Jadis)~Skye Penderwic

334. I will steer clear of Turkish Delight offered by someone who my sis said was evil in a land I thought was fake…~Skye Penderwic

335. I will not throw a metal pole at Aslan

336. I will not accept a guinea pig as a birthday present from my old, weird uncle whose name happens to be Andrew. ~Lucy Skywalker. 🙂

337. I will CERTAINLY NOT try to kill my Brother if he has a son…or a daughter, for that matter ~ C.S. Lewis kid

338. I will not listen to my friend Digory’s crazy uncle. ~ C.S. Lewis kid

339. I will plot to kill the king of Narnia (or Archenland…). I’ll get in trouble with Aslan. ~ C.S. Lewis kid

340. I will not toss Peter a cricket ball while Edmund is sitting right next to him. There’s slight chance I’ll miss and hit Ed in the head (ow). ~ C.S. Lewis kid

341. I will not tell Peter that he is going to die by a frog. It’s not menacing in any way whatsoever. ~ C.S. Lewis kid

342. I will not walk into a wardrobe and then shut the door behind me. I might not be able to get out. ~ C.S. Lewis kid

343. I will not try to turn Mr. Beaver into a hat (a coat, maybe). ~ C.S. Lewis kid

344. I will not use a lamp-post bar as a weapon (espescially against Aslan). C.S. Lewis kid

345. I will not tolerate my subjects adding may-he-live-forever every time they mention my name or talk to me (I will make a law against it, ANYTHING but live with it). ~ C.S. Lewis kid

346. I will not take over Narnia at all! (I will go after Calormen or Terabinthia instead) ~ C.S. Lewis kid

347. I will not convince my husband to have my stepdaughter marry a Tarkaan that she can’t stand the sight of and is forty years older than her. She might try to run away to Archenland and we don’t want that. ~ C.S. Lewis kid

348. I will study the deep magic /very hard/ the next time i try to kill aslan just to make sure theres no catch.

349. I will not put marshwiggle and man recipies in my cookbook: they will look at it sooner of later.

350. I will not leave a cookbook open at the pages ‘man’ and ‘marshwiggle’ so they can look at it and leave us with no food.

351. I will not add unesessary scenes in the Narnia movies; I will try to stick to the book as much as I can.

352. i will get a haircut every once in a while so that I’m not mistaken for a girl (hope Caspian reads this)

353. I will not accept candy from a stranger- that just has suspicious written all over it!

354. I will NOT follow Edmund through the Wardrobe…

355. I will remember to wear my hearing aid while I am watching new worlds be created–otherwise, their creator will sound like he is making incoherent roaring sounds.

356. I will not attempt to bribe a boy with Turkish Delight. It won’t work on most boys, since boys are usually told to never take candy from strangers.

357. I will not destroy almost all life forms in the universe by speaking a magic word that has the same effect as repeatedly bombarding the entire planet with nukes. The environmentalists will be all over me.

358. I will not capture a little son of Adam while Aslan is on the move…Aslan might send a rescue party, and I don’t want my good fighters to get killed,(it might cause me to lose the upper hand). ~ C.S. Lewis kid

359. I will not try to attack a narnian ship that is passing over my home…especially if a mouse named Reepicheep is on board. ~ C.S. Lewis kid

360. I will not make fun of my older cousins for believing in magic worlds…there’s a chance that they’ll be right. ~ C.S. Lewis kid

361. I will not turn down the hot daughter of a star in place for a sorta pretty mortal from this place called “Earth”. -Caspian

362. I will not jump on top of the Son of Adam while he has his sword extended…it does more good for him than it does for me. ~ C.S. Lewis kid

363. I will speak in code when I am holding secret meetings with my high son and hogh man (whatever he’s called). There might be two little girls hiding behind the couch. ~ C.S. Lewis kid

364. I will not grab a knife that was sitting in the middle of a table on an enchanted island thousands of miles away from my home. ~ C.S. Lewis kid

365. I will not enchant my minions so that they will do my will – Instead, I will get minions whom are actually loyal to me. ~ C.S. Lewis kid

366. I will not make my guests into pies. ~ C.S. Lewis kid

367. I will not make Aslan angry. It is hazardous to my health. ~ C.S. Lewis kid

368. I will not try to take over Anvard. There are angry barbarian royals who could come to it’s rescue…not to mention Aslan. ~ C.S. Lewis kid

369. I will not hide in the bushes when my master is getting killed by Peter. ~ Boy Scout

370. I will not curse Aslan. (Even if it dose make Tash happy.) It only makes it easier for Aslan to make me donkey. ~ Boy Scout

371. I will not disobey my queen who is thousands of years older than I am when she tells me to not be seen.

372. I will not let this site be pink forever. ~ King Kavanaugh the Boy Scout

373. I will not say Narnia isn’t real. It just results in my family getting killed. Not. Fun. At. All.

374. I will not call on things I don’t believe in, because they just might be real.

375. I will not wrap a silly boy in a coat who will just turn out to kill me

376. I will not be evil in C.S. Lewis’ books. I never ends well. ~ King Kavanaugh The Boy Scout

377. I will not call on Tash because he will kill me! ~ Narnian Queen Elizabeth

378. I will not wear the mane of Aslan into battle if I already have a blonde mane.~GeorgeHarrison

379. I will not hire a bunch of too old brunette actors when they’re supposed to play young, blond people

380. I will not let my knowlege of the Deep Magic go back only to the Dawn of Time.~GeorgeHarrison

381. I will not make it always winter and never Christmas. Doesn’t do me any good popularitywise.~GeorgeHarrison

382. I will check the area for little girls who are against me before I murder Aslan.~GeorgeHarrison

383. I will not fail to hire lion hunters to patrol the borders of Narnia. ~GeorgeHarrison

384. I will not totally hog this list.~GeorgeHarrison

385. I will not write things that do not make sense on this list. ~King Kavanaugh the Boy Scout

386. I will spell check EVERYTHING I put on this list. (Learned that the Hard way.) ~King Kavanugh the Boy Scout

387. I will not let the humans into the kitchen if I intend to turn them into pies.

388. I will not make Turkish Delgiht, I will make pizza because it tastes better.

389. I will not reject Jesus completely after he has come back to Earth for his thousand-year rule…oh wait, that’s Left Behind. Sorry! ~ C.S. Lewis kid

390. I will not tick off Aslan. Enough said. ~ C.S. Lewis kid

391. I will not trust a Calormene unless he/she is somewhat like Aravis or Emeth. ~ C.S. Lewis kid

392. I will try to stay on the good side of Narnian mice… especially ones as tough as Reepicheep. ~ C.S. Lewis kid

393. I will NOT try and marry King Edmund (he’ll just kill me)

394. I WILL NOT ignore the advice this list gives me (I will probably get killed)-Queen Arya of the Elves

395. I WILL NOT go through a wardrobe if it means to go to a dangerous place.- Queen Lucy the Valiant

396. I will NOT murder these random Calormenes, turn myself in, and then run away. I think that’s stupid. It’s like, is he sorry he killed them or not?

397. I will not have wolves for my secret police. Things might get a bit, ah, messy.~GeorgeHarrison

398. I will Not say any other spell in the magic book except the one that I’m supposed to. It’ll just make me lose a good friend.

399. I will not tie the King of Narnia to a tree, and when he escapes make up stories about Aslan swallowing him.

400. I will not try to lure the remaining three of the sons of Adam and daughters of Eve away when I already have one. That just leads to a lot more chances of my plan getting ruined.

401. I will not try to sink a ship by splitting it in two, especially if Reepicheep is on board.

402. I will not jump onto a crate to try to gain the upper hand in a swordfight; this leads to a better chance of me getting shot by an arrow

403. I will not jump off of said crate without checking for hooks on the wall behind me

404. I will not make scary faces at the kings and queens, because then I’ll just get turned into a donkey, and that’s no fun.

405. I will not make fun of people, because then they’ll come back with their lion friends and beat me up.

406. I will not give Caspian a beard, that’s just wrong.

407. I will not give RD a name.

408. I will not trust my best friend’s uncle who lives in an attic blowing up guinea pigs.

409. I will not sell Narnian royalty and those related to them as slaves.

410. I will not socalize with tall ladies dressed in white.

411. I will not walk into the narnia fanfiction office and address myself as a Mary Sue. ~ C.S. Lewis kid

412. I will not associate with gnomes. ~ C.S. Lewis kid

413. i will not give turkish delight to innocent little boys

414. Well, I won’t kill Aslan, that’s for sure.

415. I will not take over a land and ignore its history and culture.

416. I will not be evil. I’ll end up being killed by a son of Adam or Aslan anyway? So last 500 years ago.

417. I will not graffiti on innnocent large cats who have been turned to stone

418. I will not kill with a sword. It gets toooooo messy. Just turn them into stone.

419. I will not touch the Knife of Aslan, it could result in a rather prolonged nap……….

420. I will not try to kill anyone when I can just make them peel gapes while chained to the wall

421. i will not try to annoy my cousins when they belive in a strange place called Narnia becace they will suck me into ship pictures

422. I will not rule with winter, i prefer spring

423. I, the ape Shift, will not dress up Puzzle, my donkey friend, in a lion’s skin and call him Aslan. I will not say Aslan is the same as Tash. I will end up with headaches at late-night conferences, be forced to swear what I do not believe, and be devoured

424. I will not assume every magician is royalty

425. I will not root only for myself during a war and shoot both the Calormenes and Narnians. Its a surefire way to get everyone to hate you.

426. I will not utter a word that kills all my subjects. Then there’s no use to being queen.

427. I will not try to make myself stupider than I really am. I would most likely succeed.

428. I will not fight with Reepicheep. I will run the other way with my hands held high. I will scream at the top of my lungs: “I surrender!!!!!!” ~ Not Of This World

429. I won’t kill a lion, TOO MESSY! DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

430. I will not sit down to take a drink with strange men who just might kidnap me.

431. I will NOT sit there & tell you to come to me with your blood; I would rather grab you and take your blood myself.

432. I will not shut my self into a wardrobe and get lost and promply join the evil side and be sick because of too much candy i’ve eaten

433. i will not eat ketchup while wearing a white shirt people may asume you stabbed yourself

434. I will not ring random bells. EVER.

435. I will not try to kill the creature who my enemies call the “king of the world”. obviousely i am the queen and i should just capture him and show him to my enemies so that I can gain full glory.

436. I will not speak a word that will kill everyone i know. That would be too lonely. -Éowyn

437. I will not lie down in pie pans, no matter how hard the temptation. -Arwen

438. I will not murder the king . . . It may well result in my own death.

439. I will not socialize with tall women dressed in green.

440. I will go to Charn to ring the bell to see what will happen

441. I will not ever go and try to take over all of England with two children who always have tricks up their sleeves

442. I will no longer allow the building of beaver dams in my kingdom. They are the perfect hiding places for enemies…

443. I will not try to convince my Telmarine followers that the Old Narnians do not exist. Instead, I will frighten them with stories of Mary-Sues! Yep, that pink strawberry fog floating through the forest should be enough.

444. I will not point out that my opponent is a mouse. After all, originality is everything!

445. I will not attempt to do battle with King Edmund while he is carrying a glowing blue sword.

446. I will not try to get Caspian to donate blood to me; Peter will come in. Then Edmund’ll go all ninja on yo butt.

447. I will not try to get Caspian to donate blood to me; Peter will come in. Then Edmund’ll go all ninja on yo butt.

448. I will not ring bell’s.

449. I will NOT keep a whole room filled with Turkish delight. (Hint: Jail!)

450. I will not always make it winter. Winter gets SO tiring.~georgiefan

451. I will not kill Aslan. That didn’t work out so well for me last time ~ Jadis

452. I will not try to eat 2 children and a Marshwiggle that have come to me for shelter.

453. I will not drink orange juice when meeting a fellow actor, just in case i sneeze.

454. I WILL NOT do anything stupid enough to get me on this list. ~ Boy Scout

455. I will not use the deplorable word!

456. I will not make my castle out of anything that can be easily obliterated by something as simple as climate change!

457. I will investigate all claims of supposed parties on board ships!

458. I will not choose minions with a soft spot for children (and sardines)!

459. I will not waggle my ears, it might give Aslan ideas…

460. I will not outlaw Father Christamas! It decreases my popularity with my subjects!

461. I will not reach my hand out farther than I can draw it back!

462. I will not send my brother’s 7 greatest friends on a voyage to the end of the world (even though it is more artistic). Instead I will dispose of them immediately!

Feel free to add your suggestions in the comments below! (Don’t number them, please.)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *