Narnian Answering Machines – Writing Contest #3

Write an answering machine message for a character from the Chronicles of Narnia. 75 words or less.

Example: Hello, you’ve reached Puddleglum’s answering machine, though I expect this is really a wrong number.  In the event that you really did intend to call me, I apologize for not being home.  Was bound to happen.  Leave your message after the beep if you feel like it, though you’ve probably forgotten it by now, I shouldn’t wonder.

Honorable Mentions

Mr. Tumnus’ Away Message by Daae
Hello, you’ve reached the cave of Tumnus. I’m sorry I can’t come to the phone at the moment, but I have work to do. Although I don’t know why I do it, my grandfather would never approve. I suppose it’s better than being turned into stone, but…I’m such a bad faun! (sobbing is heard)

White Witch by AravisStar
Hello! You have reached the castle of the White Witch, if you want to leave a message, wait until the sinister laugh is finished, if you want a job interview, talk to my henchman, but if you have any information regarding those four humans, leave a message. I am much too busy, redecorating my castle with stone relicts to talk with you. beep! Moohahahahamoohahaha!

Aslan’s Answering Machine by MekareQ
Speaking animal of Narnia, Son of Adam or Daughter of Eve Greetings! If this is an emergency, I’m acting in mysterious ways and everything will be fine. If this is not an emergency, leave a message at the roar. *ROAR*

and the winner

A much-played message for a busy mistress by Ramandu’s daughter
Hello darling, thanks for calling me, the ever-delightful and boisterous Lasaraleen! I’m probably off frolicking with other members of the Tashbahaanian elite in a terraced garden or lively party right now, but please do not be offended; there’s enough of my charming self to go around! So do call back as soon as possible, and perhaps we can meet in one of my many palaces: I just bought the most lovely dress…

Don’t forget to check out the winners of the last contest, Garage Sales.