hobbit_of_narnia
Jadis: Well, what do you think?
Cyclops: Well, I don’t know. Something still looks wrong somehow. Something in the proportions. I think you drew the legs a bit on the short side of things and his nose is slightly too far down…
(Jadis glares at the cyclops out of the corner of her eye and fingers her wand.)
Cyclops: Uh, I mean it’s flawless! Absolutely flawless, your Majesty! The positive quintessence of perfection! Not one single problem with the whole thing! It’s a masterpiece!
(The cyclops now beats a hasty retreat.)
Tenethia
Off-screen announcer: And now, Judges of Narnia’s Got Talent, what are your comments? Queen Jadis, why don’t you start?
Jadis: OK, look, really, you’d sound nicer if you were made out of stone. It’s a no from me…
Bree
What do you mean I’m supposed to die at the end of all this? Bring me the writer of this manuscript! Bring me this C.S Lewis! He shall pay for his treasonous writings!
Benisse
Your Highness, It’s the Hastings Badger Protection Society on the line. They have some questions about your film disclaimer that “No animals were harmed in the making of this movie.”
Ariel_of_Narnia
Jadis: “Map of Narnia on my desk, which of your rulers is the best?”
Aravis
That moment when you order a cheeseburger and fries, but you get home and open up the bag to find out they forgot the fries
Berry
At the art museum, Jadis and her cyclops were told to really ponder all the artwork. They stayed like that for 3 days, examining the painting.
alexandanor
Ogre: You’ve finished it!
White Witch: Not quite…there are still a few pages left.
